Category: AndyMcgee

You Were Meant For Me… And I Was Meant For You..

1:29PM – “you were meant for me… and I was meant for you..”

So I pretty much updated everything we actually did on my real journal…. except for a few things.
Well first off, in bed we were kissing and holding each other, but that’s totally AbracaDUH! Because we always hold and kiss each other, b/c we are sweet like that 🙂
So after about 45 minutes of fighting within myself, I finally told Chris that…
I’m falling in love with him.
I was really afraid to tell him, b/c I thought
1. He might be mad.
2. He might not feel the same way.
3. It might freak him out.
4. I was just scared!
Luckily, he didn’t freak out. He kissed me and said “Is it ok to say ‘So am I’?” I said “Only if you mean it.” and he said “I do.” And it was just how I felt and I thought I should let him know… We were holding each other and I just kept pulling him closer… for some reason I just felt like we couldn’t get close enough, I just wanted us to be as one. Gah, that probably sounds stupid…..
I do wonder if he just said that b/c I did or if he really is as well. I dunno, to me that isn’t something that someone says and you are just like “yeah, well I’m not, that’s too bad.” So I hope he didn’t feel obligated to tell me that if he doesn’t actually feel it.
Deep down I know he means it, but then I don’t b/c I dunno, I just don’t!
Anyways I was feeling pretty emotional that day, and Jewel was playing, and her music isn’t exactly cheery. And I was feeling so many emotions for Chris that I kinda cried a bit.
He noticed, but I didn’t really explain why I was doing it. There is just a lot going on right now, and he’s uber important to me…..
I don’t really want to get emotional, I have to go to work.
I hope that by time I get home, Chris has an update for me!! You better!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

More About The Weekend

So this weekend was really really good again!
Friday walking in the skywalks was fun. We held hands… at one point there were creepies behind us. But we made it 🙂
Lots of kissing goodnight once we got to my house. *Sigh* so nice! Oh and we definitely had a long talk about how much our Government sucks and what needs to be done about it. It was really good to have an actual intellectual convo w/ someone.
Saturday was fun in the hot tub. Hehe. We made out a lot (as well as talked) There was a bit of ass play and I think that’s the loudest I’ve heard Chris moan EVER. Perhaps I’ve hit something that feels good? Watching Charlies Angels was fun b/c we were naked lol. Then upstairs was even more fun! I got a rimmy!!! *dances* That was definitely nice, even though Chris said I moan more when he’s on my arm. Eh, it’s ALL good..!!!! Hoodie got a little bit of a tease, and Chris’ little booty would’ve as well, but I was already late. Mother was waitin home for me. SO Embarassing lol.
Sunday was E X C E L L E N T. Spending that day with him was just great great great! We layed in bed for awhile, just cuddling and being cute. After shopping, we came back home and just layed on the couch downstairs for HOURS, just talking and kissing and watching TV. At commercials, I’d turn and kiss him. But all I wanted to do was look at his face. I don’t know what it was. I really don’t. But he looked so amazingly beautiful last night. I could’ve stared at him forever. The emotion was almost too much for me, and I almost cried. Somehow I contained myself. Oh, I am so smitten by him! When we parted ways I really didn’t want to. Well, I never want to, but this time I REALLY didn’t want to. I would’ve been content laying there and watching TV for more hours and then falling asleep together. SOOOOO wonderful!
Like Chris said, Can’t wait for wed!!!!!!
Current mood: apathetic

Amazing

I do not think I can even express in words how I felt tonight when I looked at Chris.
A
M
A
Z
I
N
G
That’s what he is.
I am not sure I have ever felt this way before… EVER.
I should be happy now, but I’m not. I’m sad. Sad that his strong arms aren’t around me… sad that I have to wait 3 days before I see him.
The closer we get, the harder it is to leave….
I hope I have the strength when the time comes.
Current mood: indescribable

its too hard to think of interesting titles

8:29PM – “its too hard to think of interesting titles” Private

SO this weekend was VERY VERY good, as it usually is.
Saturday we hung out here and workedo n my car, which was fun. I get better gas mileage now! Thanks Topher! See, I really enjoy having him around, b/c he has this vast array of common knowledge that just helps out in so many situations. It’s great that he konws so much shit that I SHOULD know, but of course don’t.
Then we went to VWM, then to B&N, where we met Liz. I think Chris liked her so that’s good! And I’m pretty sure she liked him back. Yay greatness!
Then we went out to the Sports store lol that was so random.
We went to Grays Lake, and that was soooo nice. Sitting there, and he had his arms around me, and I don’t really think the breeders enjoyed us too much. It does kinda ruin the mood when some white trash HOES yell the F word. But whatever I still had a great time with MY Topher, sitting on the dock thingy and taking random pics of my feet and hands with the digital cam.
Good times.
Went to Beckys and taht was fun. I was introduced as “Chris’ boyfriend” which just made me feel really good. Like it was like “YAY I really AM Chris’ boyfriend!!” It still sounds weird to say it.. I dunno, I guess I Just thought it would never happen and now that it has… YAY!
We ate cake there, yum yum. I think we worked it off later though *Wink*
THen we went to Perkins, dinner was on me, and this heinous woman like FORCED me to buy some easter egg thing for some dead kids and I def didn’t want to, then she tried to get me to buy one for Chris, but I said no. And unfortunately it was acutally a pretty good coupon. I should’ve just stole the whole damn basket.
Then we went to my house I think, where I asked mother if I could stay the night and she threw a fit, then said yes, then acted like nothing happened. She’s REALLY been pissing me off lately.
Anywyas, we went to Steph’s bonfire, which was really cool. Kristin told me today how much she likes Chris! “I really don’t know why, I just like him a lot!” So that was good.
Then off to PC to get Chris’ stuff, then off to Ames to spend the night. I was sooooooo tired, since I had worked early that morning.
We got to Ames and decided to put the movie off till the next day and went to bed. Well, of course, that resulted in a bit of fooling around, we both came, and I gave Chris a little head. Hehe. As is my recollection, we were talking or something during it… I believe my quote was “I have never had this long of a convo while I”m trying to give head” or something to that effect. I dunno… Other classic quote: “It’s like a new toy, you have to figure out how it works” ohhhhh k lol.
We went to bed at 2:11 ish. Woke up at 8:28 ish…. WAAAY tired. So my back hurt again that little idiosyncrasy of mine is FUCKING ANNOYING. It totally needs to stop. Anyways, we made out some more lol and did some other stuff and I came again. I wanted to have Chris cum, so that he didn’t feel left out, plus it’s just common courtesy for both people to cum, but he didn’t want to, and I didn’t want to be an annoying bitch and push the matter, so I didn’t. I did lay on him though and let all the cum from my body mesh into his. LOL. I”m not sure how happy he was about that one.
Then we just spent the day up in Ames, it was really nice. We just sat around did lots of random shit, I didn’t even get ready until like 6 in the afternoon. My hair was all fucked and Chris said it was cute, but I don’t really think it was. Yeah so we watched Save the Last Dance and other random TV shows, and laid in bed some more, which is SOOOO nice. I love to lay with him and we always have the weirdest convos and just hold each other and its so fun.
Oh and I can’t believe I forgot to mention!
On Friday I was just sitting quietly at my desk contemplating life, when Brent randomly came up to me with flowers and was like “these are for you” I was totally floored. My face must’ve turned totally red and I had this big goofy grin on my face for the rest of the night. They were from Chris of course, with a note that said “Drew Bear: Let’s drop the almost. Topher” It was soooo totally cute, and I was definitely the envy of the office. Everyone was like “I wish someone would do that for me” etc…
SO yeah, that was one of the sweetest things anyone has ever done! And it was even sweeter when I found out that Chris was all nervous about it and even called to make sure they were delivered. Hehe, he is SOOOO cute!
Anyways so we are official now, as of April 25… it really isn’t much different from before, but I like being official. I have someone to care about me! Yay!
Anyways, drama w/ Adam/Scott/LJ almost ruined the weekend.. But I’m over that now and feeling fine!
So yeah… time to send this on to Chris!
*kisses and bear hugs from the DB*
Current mood: hot
Current music: la woman

We Went To The Moon In 1969

1:12PM – We went to the moon in 1969…..

Yet another WONDERFULLY WONDERFUL Wednesdy with my one and only (almost) Topher!

So he took off work so taht I could spend the day with him, which I thought was totally sweet of him. I actually kinda feel bad, like I’m costing him 70 or so bucks everytime we hang out! But I suppose if he really wanted to go to work, he would.

So since he was so sweet, I thought it would be nice to buy him flowers. I didn’t get roses… they are a bit cliche, plus I thought I’d wait for something more special before I buy him those. So I just got these white flowers, I dunno, I thought they were pretty. Drove to Ames, speeding lol so that I could get there because I wanted to see MAT (my new name…. meaning My Almost Topher.) hehe I thought it was funny.

Anyways, I get there and give him the flowers and he seemed pleasently surprised by them, which is good. THough I guess me giving them ruined some surprise he was planning for me, so now I feel really bad. I hope he follows through on it anyways, because I don’t want to actually have ruined something, plus I like Surprises!!!

So we talked and put them in a vase, sat on his bed and talked about our day, and made a CD for me.
Talk about a fun CD! The CD has Marilyn Manson, Ace of Base, 50 Cent, Sonny and Cher, Erykah Badu, Justin Timberlake, The song from the Disney Channel…. such a varied mix. I really like it though. Fun times.

So we did that, and Chris got a few kisses for it.

At one point we had a discussion about patrons lol. We talk about the oddest things sometimes.

pa·tron·ize ( P ) Pronunciation Key (ptr-nz, ptr-)
tr.v. pa·tron·ized, pa·tron·iz·ing, pa·tron·iz·es
To act as a patron to; support or sponsor.
To go to as a customer, especially on a regular basis.
To treat in a condescending manner.

Just for you Chris! Now you kow what it means 🙂

So the we decided to go to Reiman Gardens which was TONS of fun!!! We walked around inside for alittle bit and looked at all the pretty butterflies and I told Chris about the butterfly with the 12 foot wingspan. I’m not sure that’s true, but it’s some giant ass bug. lol. We walked outside and it was so totally cute b/c we were walking with our arms around each other and we’d hold hands too.
It really said a lot to me that Chris isn’t afraid to show that type of display in public. It was totally sweet. We stopped and kissed under this thing, which would’ve been a lot more romantic had it not been right on the highway. “Beautful Reiman Gardens, surrounded on both sides by highway…” So yeh then we walked other places, stillholding hands and creeping out these stupid breeders who were raking the “lake.” We stopped under a covered bridge, and I tried to teach Chris the dance move that Court and I always do. I’m not sure he got it… but it was cute.

Then we walked more and sat on a bench and held hands and kissed and made fun of the breeders and just talked. So nice.

We left b/c I was cold, but I felt bad for wanting to leave. But I was cold!

Then we went to the mall, non exciting really.

Then we went out to eat at Village Inn, and I was a total blargmonster with 3 plates out! Woo! But it was soooooo good and Topher man is such a sweetie for paying!!! I’ll make sure to give him a little something extra *wink* hehe.

We sat there and talked for awhile about gifts from Exes and whatnot. Lots of random shit. We left and poor waitress girl didn’t get a tip. Eh. oh well *shrug*

After Village Inn, we went to Best Buy, where I was gonna buy the CD Skip Fixer thingy, but didn’t b/c it was 30. I figured I’d just get it offline somewhere. So then we went to Target to see ift hey had thatand FFOrigins for cheaper. Well, Target didn’t have it at all, so we went BACK to Best Buy, and I felt dumb when we saw the guy who greeted us the first time. I bought FFOrigins, yay so now I have 2 MORE FF’s to play, in addition to 7, 8 and Xenogears and whatever else I wanna play.
I also stopped and molested Xenosaga Episode 1 again lol.

After that, it was back to the Toph’s apartment to just do random shit. I told him to put on Enya, b/c I enjoy that as background music. So he did, and we layed there kissing and cuddling and being cute. He’s riht, thy SHOULD make a movie about us… perhaps I’ll write a script and we’ll see what can happen.

Oh I did tell him that I Couldn’t hang out Friday b/c of things with Courtney, and I Felt really bad. But I really think yesterday was worth it. I had such a wonderfully amazing day with him. He seemed ok with it, so I’m sure things are fine. I’m sure we’ll be together most of Saturday and Sunday so it won’t be a big deal. *sigh* Though how I’d LOVE to spend the night with him again….
Anyways, eventually I had to leave, and hewas holding me, and I Just wanted to roll over and go to sleep with his strong arms around me. I was about ready to be like fuck it all, I’m staying!! But I Couldn’t and of course eventually I had to leave.

We stood kissing for a looong time…. It’s just really hard to let go. And these crazy breeders were making lots of noise, I was like hey dumbass breeders shut it! Oh why are they so stupid? lol.
Oh we also went to Chris’ MIS meeting, which was cool I guess. I didn’t really get it at all, so I just looked around. I think I’ve decided that I reallywant to go to a big university. Hmmm such a tough choice.. I mean TECHNICALLY I could still go to Iowa. But I don’t know.

Anyways, thats beside the point.

So I really like Chris eh? I can’t wait till Sat. when I get to see him! And of course I’ll be thinking of him in the meantime… how can I not? I’ve got pics all over of him at work at home, everywhere!

I really hope he liked the flowers. My intent was that everytime he sees them, he will remember that there is one little gay boy in Waukee who is thinking about him. Perhaps I need to pick up something a bit more substantial (and somehing that won’t die so quickly) so taht he can remember me always! Not that he won’t anyways I mean HELLO. lol

Oh, we also figured out that between Chris’ ass and my ego, there isn’t enough room on the bed for anything else.

LoL.

Oh Topher. Hope you smiled as you read this! Because you are beautiful when you smile…. well, you are beautiful always.

Have a great day!

BREAK!

Current mood: awake