1:29PM – “you were meant for me… and I was meant for you..”
So I pretty much updated everything we actually did on my real journal…. except for a few things.
Well first off, in bed we were kissing and holding each other, but that’s totally AbracaDUH! Because we always hold and kiss each other, b/c we are sweet like that 🙂
So after about 45 minutes of fighting within myself, I finally told Chris that…
I’m falling in love with him.
I was really afraid to tell him, b/c I thought
1. He might be mad.
2. He might not feel the same way.
3. It might freak him out.
4. I was just scared!
Luckily, he didn’t freak out. He kissed me and said “Is it ok to say ‘So am I’?” I said “Only if you mean it.” and he said “I do.” And it was just how I felt and I thought I should let him know… We were holding each other and I just kept pulling him closer… for some reason I just felt like we couldn’t get close enough, I just wanted us to be as one. Gah, that probably sounds stupid…..
I do wonder if he just said that b/c I did or if he really is as well. I dunno, to me that isn’t something that someone says and you are just like “yeah, well I’m not, that’s too bad.” So I hope he didn’t feel obligated to tell me that if he doesn’t actually feel it.
Deep down I know he means it, but then I don’t b/c I dunno, I just don’t!
Anyways I was feeling pretty emotional that day, and Jewel was playing, and her music isn’t exactly cheery. And I was feeling so many emotions for Chris that I kinda cried a bit.
He noticed, but I didn’t really explain why I was doing it. There is just a lot going on right now, and he’s uber important to me…..
I don’t really want to get emotional, I have to go to work.
I hope that by time I get home, Chris has an update for me!! You better!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!