Wasn’t Going To

I wasn’t going to write about this, but I’m really annoyed now.

I didn’t get a card on V-day.

Now, that probably sounds relaly stupid. But when you don’t have any CONTACT with your bf, and some holiday like this comes up… What’s the ONE THING you would expect.

That’s right… a CARD! But nope, i didn’t get one.

We got into it about it, and he said that he was busy and was late getting it in the mail!

Yeah, was he ever late. He put it in the mail ON V-DAY! That’s NOT JUST LATE!

Yeah, so I’ll get it a whole week after the day.

You know he knew it was going to be that late, so at least an e-card SURE WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE TO HAVE! Or maybe some cheap flowers from Hy-Vee, he could have done that for less then $10, which is what it cost me to send him that box of stuff with his card in it. I really just want to say, “Fuck you” right now, but I know I shouldn’t, I’m just very upset by the whole thing. But it’s not that big of a deal. I’ll get over it.

I’m very annoyed by this, and hurt. Thanks alot.

Bye.

Going to DIE!

So I’m VERY annoyed right now.

Nazanin’s being a stupid HOE! And made me move my desk back to the way that it used to be, which annoys the hell out of me. Plus she’s informed us that she will be hiring EVEN more people to come in and work here, and plus she’s going to be a stupid whore faced bitch! So yeah. She’s stupid and I hate her!

Anyways, the last couple days have been fairly good. Last night Andrew and I got into it about something completely stupid. I was asking questions just for my own knowledge and then he was putting words into my mouth from a previous convo, and he seemed to get annoyed at me, and I got annoyed at him, and it was just bad. But hopefully everything is good now, we haven’t yet talked today.

I also got another interview for the week that I’m out in Cali. I applied for this job that was a Cobol Programmer and they replied back with this:
You are welcome to come for an interview when you are in So Cal. Your skill
set is not exactly what I was advertising for, but I have been considering
adding a full-time sysadmin to my small staff to relieve me and others of
such responsibilities. And, since all my relatives are from Iowa & some
graduated from ISU, I feel a duty to welcome refugees from the land of corn
& hogs to sunny So. Cal.!

So yeah, that’s good times!

had two tests the last two days. Test in Human Sex was MUCH harder then I thought it would be. So I don’t think I did as wonderfuly as I had hoped. The test in my History class went exceptionally well though. So that’s good. I think I did very good on it.

Umm, also that crazy Jayson guy came over last night and we hung out for like 10 mintues. I think we’re going tohang out Friday too. But who knows.

Today is pratically shorts weather! It’s very exciting.

Anyways, laters all.

I’m off to kill!

Another Sea of Homos!


Forty-eight hours, 97 breakout sessions and a count just less than 1,000 attendees from 15 states and Canada.

College students and presenters migrated to Ames from all over the Midwest Friday through Sunday for the Midwest Bisexual Lesbian Gay Transgender and Ally College Conference. Although the issue of legalizing gay marriage has been heavily covered in the news recently, participants said it was just one part of the weekend’s discussions.

“A big problem is people just aren’t educated on queer issues,” said Dustin Wagner, a pre-nursing major at the University of Iowa who attended the conference.

The weekend’s theme was “Speak Up! Speak Out!” which organizers said meant encouraging non-heterosexuals and their allies to make sure others were aware of challenges facing gays and lesbians.

“I think one thing that actually did change [as a result of the weekend] in people’s minds was [when] we talked about community involvement,” said Scott Reichmann, co-chairman of the conference’s planning committee. “There was an incredible amount of energy.”

Reichmann said he didn’t notice major differences between gay issues the ISU community deals with compared to those mentioned by visitors from other campuses.

“It’s fair to say those issues are always present,” he said. “The specific way that they manifest themselves may be a little different.”

Rich Eychaner of Des Moines, who made a presentation and represented the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Youth in Iowa Schools Task Force, said he thinks discrimination against gays is common in Iowa and in the United States, making the theme all the more appropriate.

“There is obviously is a lot of assault and antagonism,” he said. “There are obviously a lot of people trying to keep gay youth from speaking.”

Eychaner said he thinks gay marriage will eventually become popularly accepted, although he said the prospect of a constitutional amendment prohibiting it is something the gay community needs to advocate against.

“The majority will turn in favor of encouraging long-term relationships from people from all kinds of walks,” he said, pointing out that the American public once favored employment discrimination against gays.

Wagner said speakers encouraged participants to be politically active.

“[They] told us it was very important for us to vote and to talk to our legislators,” he said.

An amendment to the Constitution, he said, would mark “the first time that discrimination will be added into the Constitution.”

Troy Nesbitt, senior pastor of Cornerstone Church, 56829 U.S. Highway 30, said he disagreed.

“I’m always opposed to any legislation that would be clearly against what I believe to be God’s intended purpose and design for relationships,” he said. “My position on the issue is a biblical position.”

Nesbitt, whose church also contains the college Christian ministry The Salt Company, said he thought the ISU conference represented an attempt to create a “discriminatory category” for its constituents that didn’t really exist.

“From my perspective, I’m always a bit disappointed when the gay and lesbian community encourages pride in something I would consider unhealthy,” he said.

Wagner said the issue of gay marriage will likely continue to inspire debate for some time.

“It is a huge deal that is affecting the queer community,” he said.

Around The Globe

Well, here I am sitting in my Apartment. You’d think that by now I’d be used to not having Andrew around any. After all this time that we’ve been apart already, it should get easier to be here alone. But it’s really not.

I went back tonight and read all the updates from August. And all those feeling are coming back, so strongly. I know I haven’t really written much about how I miss him so much lately. I think that if I don’t write it, I don’t feel it. But I do feel it, and as I sit here and remember how hard it was to leave him back in August, and how horrible those first couple weeks were, all that time tell he came back and told me how much he loved me. I’m remembering how hard all that was, and it really isn’t much easier now.

I remember that great trip that we had in mid August and all the fun that we had just sitting in his grandpa’s house watching TV all day, and playing video games. That trip to NY, and to the ocean. The trip to his school. I really wish we could have gone past his old house. I would have enjoyed seeing that.

I go back and I look at those pictures that we took the night we were saying goodbye, and I see how read our eyes are from the crying, and I remember how horrible it was. I remember how I wished after leaving him that it had gone differently. I always wished that I could have had one last kiss that night, or one last hug. One extra I love you. Just that night. I know it doesn’t really seem to make much sence. But the whole ride back to my hotel… I was just wishing that we could have had one more last kiss, more then just the peck on the lips that we had… One last passionate kiss.

This weekend I missed him so much more then I have in a long time. Having V-day come and go, and all I had was a phone call. And having to watch all those other homos at the conference walk around with their bf’s and kissing and holding hands and being cute. I hated them all, I just wanted to walk around and show them all HOW cute my boyfriend was, and how special we are. How great we are to be able to hold together a relationship over such a great distance.

I know we’ve had problems lately, but they’re minor. And Andrew said something lsat night that really made me feel better… That it was a good that we got along so much better when we’re together. He said it shows that we’re meant to be together and not apart.

Now if only the togetherness would come faster.

I really wanted to fly out there this weekend, it was only $250. I just wish there would be somewhere for me to stay. I really really wanted to see him this weekend. I wanted to hold him and have him make love to me again. I want him to whisper in my ear again, like he did the first time. It was so passionate, so loving…”I want to make love to you”. I remember those words, and how he said them. I could hear it in his voice that he loved me so much.

I’m so happy to have him, I’m so happy that he loves me so much. And that I love him.