Tag: movie

Tired, Sleep

I’m really fucking tired today. I couldn’t get to sleep last night, to many things going though my mind. Mostly things about my back, it’s hurting like hell again. There was also alot of other things on my mind, but I really don’t want to get into that.

So today at work was really long too. We’re working on making this CD for MCC, it has like 50 presentations by all these people from the DOE, DOD, NASA and a whole shit load of National Labs etc. Well I was going though them all, fixing broken movies, adding bookmarks to them (8 bookmarks in each one) and changing the startup properties. It took me about 5 hours to get through them all. Then I took them into Nazanin to show her the finals. She started going though them, and there were like a couple that were “bigger” then the others. And she also decided she wanted to change the startup properties on them. I was about ready to kill her. Earlier I had done one, showed it to her, and she said that was good. I asked her if there was _ANYTHING_ she wanted to change, and she said now. But she’s a stupid bitch, so I had to go through them all and change the fucking things again. Why does she have to be such a nit-picky littlee bitch. And the worst thing is that she can’t understand most of what you tell her. You tell her that something can’t be done, and she insists that it can. I usually prove her wrong, but it’s just a pain in the ass. If she would just let us do our work and she did hers, we would get so much more shit done. But that’s govement work for you.

XMMS is dead and it’s sad. I upgraded to 1.2.6 from 1.2.5 and now it plays things in like fastforward. It’ll play a 3 minute song in like 3 seconds…..

Ok, Gotta love forums. I found the answer, XMMS lives again! ::yay::

Not much is really going on. I found out they offer alot of neet religion classes here. So I’m going to take some next semster, they look interesting. I still need to find another class for this summer though. So I’m going to go search the book some more. Laters all…..

A Guy That Has It All

I love how he has it all. He’s got a computer with 4 CPU’s and a computer with 10 PCI card slots. He’s got 8 Os’s on one computer and 10 Gig of RAM. He’s got a card that lets him back up his computers to VHS tape, yeah that’s right VHS, as in movie tapes. He’s got programs and data bases that do it all for him. He’s got a computer with Battery powered RAM, so that when he shuts off his computer, he’s not really shutting it off. He’s got it all I tell you, everything.

Yeah, I just love it how everytime he mentions something, he says, I hvae one of those, or a student last semester did this. It’s crazy. I tell you half his stories are false. Stupid MIS teacher. Well at least one things cool about him though, he’s a Linux guy, and he puches Open Source all the time.

Today’s been fairly good, I had my Accounting test at 11. I told myself last night that I was going to get up at 8 and study tell 11. I was up at 7, but I didn’t want to get out of bed, so I laid there tell 8, when my alarm went off. I still didn’t want to get out of bed, so I reset it for 9:30. I got up then, got dressed and went off to study. I studied for like 40 minutes or so. I think I did fairly well on my test though. So it’s good. And Sri said that they curve in there is way cool. So I hope things go well. I have to have at least a B+ average this semester.

I’ve started thinking about my classes for next semster as well (Summer). I’m going to take Psych 280, and I wanted to take Phot 201, but they don’t offer it during the summer. So I’m going to find some other class to take, probably something like Comp Graphics, or a Networking class. I just have to at least have 9 credits this semester and one has to fulfill a Soc/Psych req, and the other has to fullfill an International Req. I dunno, it should all work out.

I’m fairly certian I got the buttons working ont he other side, it was a stupid line break problem caused by IE.

The weekend of March 1, Adam and I are going to Corning/Lenox. We’re leaving Ankeny about 6:30ish Thursday night, go to Lenox, spending the night there, hanging out with G&G and Beak on Friday morning/afternoon. Hanging out with David Friday night, sleeping at G&G’s Friday night. Hanging out with G&G and Beak and random Lenoxing Saturday and then going home Saturday afternoon/night. It’ll be fun times.

Sucky Weekend

This weekend has sucked royal ass. Mostly because Adam’s been grounded but there’s alot of other reasons as well. Most of which I won’t get into in a public entry. But yeah, Friday I spent the night at Adam’s, Rob and Abbie were gone, but Melinda stayed home, it wasn’t that bad, but I was hoping to spend the night with Adam. We just stayed there and watched movies or something, I don’t remember what we did.

Saturday sucked as well. I was stuck home with my parents all day, until 10pm. It fucking sucked. I had to go out to supper with them as well. Gwar. I hate them. At 10 I went to Adam’s cause he had just got off work. Melinda and Abbie were gone, but Rob stayed home. What the fuck is up with that. I wanted to spend time with Adam, but they wouldn’t fucking leave this weekend. Gwar. Adam and I talked Saturday night about things. About how I felt that I could loose him any time. It’s better now, but I still feel that way. I don’t feel 100% in our relationship. I think it’s mostly because I lost him one other time. But I also feel that way because I he’s not romantic at all. When it comes time to leave at night, he’s like “bye, love you.” We kiss, he goes back inside. For me, I don’t want to leave, I hate leaving, I want to spend every waking moment with him, or talking to him. It kills me when I have to leave. Like tonight, when we were saying bye, I said, “I hate having to do this.” And he said, “We’re going to see each other tomorrow for fricks sake.” That’s not what I was wanting to hear. But then also earlier, we were talking about weather I should leave or not. I said that I think I will, because being around his family when they’re eating is wierd for me. I don’t feel like I should be there, unless they specifically invite me to stay. I just don’t feel right. I feel as though I’m intruding. But back to tonight, Adam and I went to the g-store to get they’re groceries. We were talking and I said that I think I’ll probably leave, he said that “Yeah, I’m tired and I have hw to do and I have to take a shower yet.” Again that’s not what I was wanting to hear. But I’m not trying to make Adam out to sound like an ass or anything. He did say that he didn’t want me to leave, but he also didn’t give off the aura that he wanted me to stay. But that’s a hole nother thing….

Also today we had my b-day thing here with my family. When I left here, there was still half the cake left. I came home 4 hours later, wanting some more of my cake. It was gone. I got one fucking piece of my cake. Fuckers. How can three people eat that much cake? I mean, we all had a piece earlier and I took a piece to Adam, and that was only half the fucking cake.

In general this weekend has sucked, birthdays bring out the worst in me. I hate them with a passion.

Ok, so I got into a little more detail then I wanted to in a public entry, but you know what. I don’t care. But I mean, in general. I feel that our relationship is going well. There’s just a few things that we both need to change, I need to be able to tell him what upsets me more, then just coming here and writing about it, and he, I feel needs to be more romantic, and show me that he really does care. But I’m also guilty of alot of other things. I’m not saying in the least that I’m perfect in any way. In fact, I’m probably causing more problems on my own then anything. I do take small things and take them out of porportion and it’s not like I mean to do it in any way. I’m edgy, I’m not sure that he really loves me the way that he sayd he does… How does one know? Really? I know how I feel for him, I know that when I leave his side, it’s like leaving a part of me. I know that when I look into his eyes, it make me so happy, I know that when he hugs me I feel as though I’m in the arms of a god, I know that when I see his name on my cell phone that my heart skips a beat because I’m so happy to talk to him. I know all this. I know that I really do love him, I love him for everything that he is, and who he is and I hope that in 9 years and 11 months we can be celebrating our 10 year anniversary and that we’ll be living together in Arizona. But there’s some things that we both have to change for that hope to work. And we are coming along the right path.

Reflections of the Year

Well, it’s the new year. Happy New Year everyone. Alot has happened over the last year. So many firsts. Coming out to my Parents, my first boy friend, my first break-up, the first time in forever that I haven’t been associated with the Boy Scouts, my first love, my first kiss, and losing my virginity. There’s just so many things that happened this year and looking over my past entries I remember how much fun we all had this summer, and over the last year. I see how much I’ve changed in the last year, and how much my feelings for the world have changed. I’m a much happier person now then I was one year ago. I’m so much farther along then I ever thought I would. One year ago from now, I never knew if I’d be alive for the next day, now I’m planning years in advance, moving to Arizona, Graduating from college. There’s so much that I want to do.

This New Years was indeed one that was special to me. This New Years I got to spend with my friends and the person that I love. We were all with the person that we love and it was just so great to hang out with everyone and have a stress free, enjoyable night.

Ok, going back to right after the last update. Sunday night I went over to Adam’s house, and worked on his computer. Things didn’t work out the way that I wanted them to, so we just said fuck it and wwe came back over here to my house. It was good times. He spent the night to which was just great cause I love sleeping with him, it’s like the best thing in the world to have the person you love so close to you. And he’s just so cute when he’s sleeping. Monday we got up about 12ish and cleaned up the house a little more. Then we went out to do some errands and such. Then we came back here about 5:30ish cause people were supposed to start showing up about 6ish or so. So we waited and waited. Finally Julian and Dean showed up and we hung around and talked to them. It was good times. Finally about 10ish everyone had arrived and the party started. It was a realy good time. We all just hung around and talked and watched movies. At midnight we all kissed our bf’s/gf’s and it was realy cool. This was the first New Years I’ve ever had someone to kiss at midnight. It was just great. About 1 everyone started dispirsing and such, Julian and Dean were the only ones that spent the night. Adam and I got to sleep together two nights in a row, it was really nice. I just can’t explain how great it is to be able to do that. It’s so great to me. Then today Adam and I got up about 1 and Julian and Dean had already left. So we left and went and hung out the rest of the day. There were a few minor tifts though, we had a small argument which was really stupid and I admit that I was wrong, and felt really bad once Adam pointed out that I had done that. Then like right after that happened he got into it with his parents and it was just bad times. So we left and went to the mall and Adam just vented to me on the way there. It was good for him to get it out though.

He goes back to school tomorrow, that’s really sad, I don’t want him to go back. I want to be able to spend the rest of break with him, and just to hang out all day every day. But real life gets in the way of what we want to do.

I got my grades, I did better then I was expecting, but not as good as I was hoping. Oh well. At least I passed all my classed and that’s all I was going for.

Planning for the future (New Years)

la la la. On Saturday I asked my mom if the family would mind dispersing from the house for New Years. She said they’d consider it. I told them to go out and party for the night, get a hotel room. Have fun. She said she’d think about it. I hope they do. We’re having a party at my house weather they leave or not. It’ll be fun. We’ll watch movies and such. We’ll have a DVD player, and surround sound. Food, I like food. It’ll be good, good times. People can spend the night if they want, we have a big matress thing, couch is comfy too. And someone can sleep in my room, if anyone wants too. The guest room’s already been claimed, hehe. 😉 I’m going to try and get ahold of David too, see if he wants to come up for the weekend. It’d be good for him. Get him out of his house, and also it’d be cool for him to meet the rest of the group. Good times it’ll be. la la la E-mail/call/comment with Ideas and such.

I had a fucking wierd dream last night. I mean really fucking wierd. It involved alot of fucking too. hehe. I was working for camp again. But this time I was in scoutcraft lodge, it’s where alot of the older scouts get put up. Well, there were lots of hot guys in there this year, including like Lenz, and Shoemaker and a bunch of others. Well in the dream, it was our break time, right after lunch. And I was going back to sleep some. Well I walk in there, and there’s all the guys in there (like 20) all nude, and well having lots of inter-personal time. Yeah, it was good. lol. I liked that dream. (I’m amazed I remember it too).

But yeah this morning was really wierd. I remember having lots of dreams, but that’s the only one I can remember, and then I woke up about 3 and couldn’t get back to sleep. I just laid there, thinking about things, mostly Adam, but other things as well.

la la la. Go read boy-ashamed.