July 1, 2001

july 1, [enrique englesias, "rythm divine"] well tonight just keeps

gettin better and better. well to start today hasn’t been the greatest. bennett

randomly showed up at my house today, my mom’s been bitchy about shit, and

yeah, not good day. then about 6 or so julian IMed me and we like, dean wants

to come tonight you wanna go pick him up. and i was like sure. but then mandy

and vero showed up here. and mandy started bitching about going to altoona

to pick him up, that just got to me. i was like damnit, if you don’t want

to go we could drop you off somewhere, or you ahve your car here so you don’t

ahve to go. and plus ya know, you’re not driving there so there’s really no

big deal. but yeah, we went to xaks and he was home so we dropped mandy off

there and went to altoona with me jules and vero. we got dean came back and

everyone was waiting at the park, well some people were, the rest of them

had gone to subway to get food. so we had to wait around and wait for them.

that wasn’t to bad, then we went ot kum and go, and i don’t know what all

was up there, but we had to hang around there forever. we ran into link and

he went and got nic then they came back and nic was being weird. i didn’t

really care so i didn’t get into it, it was nic being nic. we finally got

out of polk city at like 8:30 i was angered by that. i was like damnit. lets

go. then we went to ames to see someone that i don’t know, i didn’t really

have a problem with that, but it was mostly a waste of time, cause yeah. but

i could stand it. then we went to java joes. it was good times there. then

we went to the loop, the cops were there cause i guess there was another fight,

so we left and went back to java joes. people have been really gettin on my

nerves lately. especially about adam, tonight i’ve just been like lets go,

lets go, cause i was gettin bored just sittin around and plus mandy was in

a pretty bitchy mood and that just brought me down some and yeah. but yeah

about the whole adam thing. i mean i like him and shit, and i’m planning on

asking him out. but people have just been buggin the crap out of me, it’s

like damnit, just leave it alone. i don’t really care if i have his phone

number, i don’t care if i see him. i wanted to go to the loop to see people.

if he was there, i would have talked to him, but that’s all damnit. grrr.

and then i just got home and danny sent like 3 e-mails to me, they are fucking

ass long and i haven’t read them all but the last one said: "We need

to talk well that is if you actually want to since were not in a fucking relationship

anymore as you say" and it’s like god damnit, i don’t need this tonight.

i want to talk to him, but yeah. not tonight. grrr. there’s so much going

on in my head i need to go to bed now. night all.

June 30, 2001

june 30, [foreigner, "died in your arms tonight"] omg so the last

two days ahve been so great. well last night was the same as normal, hung

out with people then went to the loop. after we left thought there was alot

of excitment there. there were people there with baseball bats and such wanting

to beat people, i guess there were alot of police and shit there. it wasn’t

good i hear. but tonight, omg, tonight i’m in heaven again. well ang is leaving

for cali this morning at 3:30 in about 2 hours actually. but yeah. we went

to her house and it was just me and her and adam for a while, and we watched

movies then xak and vero showed up and we watched more movie and played other

various games. adam drew charictchers (sp) of everyone, he’s a good artisit.

i wish i could draw, then we left there about 10:30 and went to the loop.

ryan was there, the guy that hangs all over adam, and he was hangin all over

him and kissing him and shit, so we left to go to the bathroom at java joes,

we went there and adam was like, ok tonight you’re my bf, i was like, OMG

yes. lol. i can’t believe those words came out of his mouth, ya know i know

it’s just cause he wants ryan off him, but yeah. i was like, bu yeah. lol.

so we went back to the loop and shit and had a great time there, adam told

ryan that i was his bf and ryan i think got pissed about that cause he left

and didn’t say anything to him again the whole night. but yeah. i was happy.

adam’s so damn cute and funny and and and, omg yeah. i could actually date

him. i could.

June 28, 2001

june 28, [alanis morissette, "mary jane"] omg tonight’s been so

great. ang called here about 7, i was in the shower so my parents took a message

and came and got me out of the shower, i called her as i was getting dressed

and she was like, wanna come to church with me, and i was like, "ok"

thinking: ‘as long as i get to see adam’ lol. but yeah, i went there, it was

damn boring, just like church. some guy was there too and he was like, "lets

pray for our president" and i was like, hell no. he pissed me off. then

after that ang and i went to adams and picked him up. that was cool. then

we came back to my house and watched a movie, i didn’t really watch it that

much. i was more interested on what was on the couch next to me, ohh yeah.

adam is so cute. sooooooo cute. lol. i’ll have to see if ang can get a pic

of him or something. but ok, well ang had to go home at 11 cause her mom was

being a bitch, so after that adam and i went to the loop. that was cool ass

shit. we hung around there, lots of cute guys, but all way to femm for me.

there was this drag queen there that adam knows and he was hanging all over

adam and i was like, yeah, let me hang all over him for a while. but oh, i

did get to hold adam’s hand for a while, i was in heaven. lol. but adam and

i talked a while and had a nice conversation about stuff. it’s all cool. damn

he’s soooooooo cute and so nice too. i need a bf, i need one NOW.

June 27, 2001

june 27, #4 [fuel, "easy"] well danny just called here. he aparently

didn’t know it was me that andwered the phone, cause he asked for me. and

i just kepy saying yeah. what a twat. i dunno. i’m really not wanting to talk

to him right now. it’s just that way. i dunno what it is. i don’t miss him.

i don’t feel anything there. and yeah, i’m just not wanting to talk to him

at the moment. in fact. i think it’s over, well i think it was over a long

time ago, but yeah. whatever.