Trust Your Gut

Well, I learned a valueable lesson last night… My gut feeling lies.

All day long, I just had this feeling in my gut that Andrew would perhaps make a sweet gesture and come up after his hanging out with Ann H and girl.

I knew in the back of my mind that he actually wouldn’t, but for some reason I went with my gut feeling. I went out after work and bought some food to make a pie, a yummy pie at that. And I came home and I made it.

I sat around at home watching TV, “Queer Eye For A Straight Guy”, “Boy Meets Boy”, and then another “Queer Eye For A Straight Guy”. He never showed, and I was fairly annoyed with that.

I know that I shouldn’t have been because we never talked about him coming up, and it would have been late had he did come up. So I was just being stupid, though I was still a bit annoyed. Stupid gut feeling. I’ll never trust it again…

And hopefully it’s wrong about the other feeling that I’m getting right now.

There’s a few other things that have been annoying me lately, though I’m going to pass those off as both of us being very stressed out about this whole moving situation.

I really wish that they weren’t happening, because I would like these last couple weeks that we have together to be some of the best. Hopefully they’ll turn around and that’ll happen.

And not what my gut is telling me is going to happen.

Boring Days

So what has Chris done all day today you ask…

Absolutely NOTHING!

Today has been really boring.

I have acutally got a lot of stuff done, but it all took about 10 minutes to do this morning, so that took me from 8~8:10. Then I sat around and read updates, then read my e-mail from work…

That brought up another problem, and I was reasearching that when Nazanin came in and bothered me about it. She didn’t understand. And she also didn’t understand that I was already working on the problem…

It was much like the Office Space scene where they are talking about the TPS reports. Oh, how I love that movie. lol. I forgot how great it was tell I watched it last night.

After all that this morning, I paid my Electric bill, which was only $1.56 or something, and then walked that over to the Mail Drop thing.

Once I was done with that, I did some more research on the OL 6.0 from M$. Looks like it’s something that we’ll be going for. When, I don’t know though.

Also talked to Chris G about the XServe that we’re ordering, decided to put that off tell the end of September to see if they come out with G5 XServes.

Finally about that time Andrew got online and we talked for a couple minutes, though it wasn’t long before I as drug off to do some more random work, though I really didn’t want too.

I forget what I did, but I’m sure it wasn’t very hard.

Talked to the Dell Guy, our “Next Busines Day Repair” isn’t going to be here tell Friday, though it should have been here today? I’m not understanding that. Maybe they have weekends in the middle of the week?

That brought me up tell about noon, when I got really bored and started compiling an SNES emulator and downloaded a bunch of games for it… Good times. I’ve been playing Earthbound and Various Mario games. The emulator says that there’s a built in Game Genie, and I’ve tried entering some codes, but non of them seem to work… Very odd. I would like if they would though, because using the keyboard is much harder then the controller and I keep dying.

I hate Austin, the new guy here. He’s very stupid and annoying. Just FYI.

I’m waiting on Nazanin to compile Gcvs on her machine so that I can work on it some, but she’s being all slow about it. So I have nothing to do.

Oh, I put stuff on E-bay last night.. How exciting is that??

Also I didn’t sleep very well. No explanation needed, I think we all know why.

Though, I’m going to go play some more Video games.

That’s my life.

The Songs…

Dear Tohpher,
These are all the lyrics to the songs
That are on this CD.
I chose all the songs
Because of their lyrics
And Also what they mean to me.
(Well, except for “We Went To The Moon” and “Head, Booty, Cock”–Those just remindme of you)
Each song expresses feelings
That I have for you.
Thank you for an unforgettable
3 Months.

The Cranberries — When You’re Gone
Alanis Morissette — So Unsexy
Dido — Here With Me
Faye Wong — Eyes On Me
Lonestar — Amazed
Alanis Morissette — You Owe Me Nothing In Return
Mary J. Blige — Flying Away
Disney Channel — We Went To The Moon in 1969
The Cranberries — I’m Still Remembering
2 Live Crew — Head, Booty, Cock
Whitney Houston — Run To You
Enya — A Day Without Rain
Pink Floyd — Wish You Were Here
Counting Crows — ColorBlind
Mary J. Blige — 2U
Smashing Pumpkns — Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness
The Cranberries — Stars
Alanis Morissette — Head Over Feet
Nobuo Uematsu — Forever Rachel

I Love You.

Your History

So I guess I’ll go ahead and update, even though I haven’t received any updated from Andrew as of yet…

So this weekend was really good, no annoyances that I can think of, so that’s super good.

Friday was uber cute with the whole supper thing, at least I thought that it was. Just us sitting out there on the deck, me cooking, and us eating. I just thought it was really really cute. Too bad there won’t be many more days that we can do that. 🙁

The 3 month gift was really really thoughtfull of him. I still can’t beleive how great it is. And it just makes me tear up just thinking about him and that wonderfull CD.

After that, the movie and that was really nice too. I really liked this weekend because there really wasn’t anything to do, we just sat around and talked and hung out with each other, it was a very good weekend. Even though in most people’s eyes, it would have been just a very boring weekend.

I was semi-annoyed that he was leaving so early on Friday night, but it ended up being alright. I found stuff that I needed to do that night.

Saturday was pretty normal, and it was nice, everything we did was on my website. That night we were up REALLY late having some fun, and that was nice, though I wasn’t quite sure where he wanted things to go…

I was letting him call the shots, and he never called it. So the traveling Condom Stash didn’t come in use. lol.

Though the whole night was very good!

Sunday we woke up, and I don’t remember exactly how it all came up, but we ended up doing it again. I was very happy about that because it showed me that after the first time, Andrew wasn’t completely emotionaly traumitized. It was really great to do that again with him, and really meant alot to me emotionaly.

On saturday we had some shakes with a bit of kick to them, not enough to do anything, but just a little bit of a kick. I wanted them to have a bit more, but my PU’s didn’t have very much in the house, so we couldn’t.

We were talking later that night and he said that it takes 6 shots or so for him to get drunk. I don’t really know why, but that bothers me a bit. The fact that he knows how much it takes to get him drunk. I mean, I know that since I’ve known him he hasn’t really gotten drunk, except for that time that he was in Mexico. But it still bothers me a bit.

There’s a lot of his history that I get the feeling he’s not telling me. Some stuff in those journals that he doesn’t want to tell me. I can understand that it’s his private journal, and it’s all good and stuff, but I just feel that if we want to continue to have a good relationship we need to be open. Even about our histories.

Maybe I feel this way because I have such a clean one, and stuff, I really have nothing to hide. Whatever…

In the end it comes up to his decision about what he wants to divulge (thate really doesn’t look right). And that’s fine by me, I mean we’ve got this far and it’s all good, so that’s fine.

Just as long as he’s not withholding from me the fact that he’s made out with someone since I started dating him.. That’s what really matters.

Anyways, really good weekend, I was super happy to share with him what we did again. And I’m very exctited for the trip. So happy!

And yet sad all at the same time… Why are emotions so crazy!