Category: My Life

I got my answer

So Friday night I had my discussion with Ben. The night before I had had HORRIBLE dreams about it and actually woke up crying my eyes out at one point. It was bad… The actual discussion, not so bad. But still very hurtful. We’re just friends. I got the same old lame excuse of “I’m not ready for anything serious.” Even though he kept saying he was earlier on. Boys. Make up your fucking mind before you start to date people. The whole way home I felt like breaking out in tears, but I held them back.

I’ve really been trying to evaluate my life recently. Things just aren’t going that great. My friends all seem to be disappearing, the ones I do have don’t tell me anything or invite me out anywhere. It’s really just annoying. IE, Andrew and Austin, WTF happened to them? I guess Chris was right when he said that Andrew had no intention of keeping in touch with me, because ever since Christmas we haven’t spoken a word. Austin is just crazy, I want to try and talk to him, but every time we talk it just ends in a fight. Very annoying. Mostly it’s because he doesn’t feel that having a conversation over AIM is a _real_ conversation. What, do you think you are just talking to a computer over here? Because you’re not. There’s a real person behind this keyboard! Then times when I invite him out he’s too tired, or just wants to play on his computer.

I’ve had a few days since I wrote the above, but it’s just gotten worse. I hate what happened between Ben and I. It’s not what I wanted at all. He’s gone for the week, and then next week we have 4 things going on that we had planned to go to. I’m not sure what’s going to happen with those. UGH!

This weekend was pretty good, I spent all day Saturday doing random things and being in a bad mood, regretting what had happened on Friday. I got my oil changed and then tried to unclog my bathtub drain. Fucking things. I have an appointment today for them to come out and clean it. What a mess. I’ve been showering with water up to my knees and then having to take it out in buckets to dump in the toilet. lol. Ben invited me out that night with Him, Jason and Robert, but I didn’t really feel like seeing him, I would have just been sad.

Sunday I got up and rode up to Trancus Canyon to meet the double century on the way back. We had to wait an hour before the first people made it in. I met up with Nick for a while, but he said that JC was really far back, so I headed out of there about 1ish.

Got back to Santa Monica and was supposed to meet up with my friend Manny again for a movie. I called him 3 times and he never answered. He finally called me back at 8:30 and said he had fallen asleep! What a lame excuse! He says he wants to hang out soon though. Whatever.

Saturday I was talking to this guy on Yahoo, and he started his webcam for me (I didn’t ask). So we’re chatting away and I’m just watching it out of the corner of my eye and also watching TV. All of a sudden he jumps up and starts a little strip show. I tell him I don’t want to see it, but he doesn’t stop. So I close the window…. Then he goes off on me, telling me I made him feel like a slut/whore, etc. WTF?! What is WRONG with these people! He was a really nice guy up till that point too! haha.

I forgot to mention that last Tuesday at Beige we saw Clinton Kelly from What not to wear. He looked really bitchy.

Leased Land

Is the WORST idea in the world!

Who on earth thought of this plan?!?!

So I am looking at properties here in OC now. I found a great looking place in Huntington Beach for $339,000. One bedroom condo, fully refurbished, great looking place, price reduced by $30,000.

I email the Realtor that’s selling it. She replied back:

“It is on leased land. The lease is $516.87/month and there is a cost of living increase. Every other year there is a $360.00 a year increase that stops in 2013.”

Ok, so on TOP of the paying nearly $2,000 a month for mortgage, plus taxes, plus $240/month in HOA dues, plus utilities, you have to pay $516 a month! This is the most retarded thing I have EVER heard of! How on earth are you supposed to be able to afford this shit?

A ONE BEDROOM people! This is crazy! And then what happens when the lease is up in 2013? Do they jack up the prices, can they just tell you to get out? WTF?!

These should be illegal!

What’s going on?!

Stole this from Andy B

I really want one for my house! 🙂 How cool would that be!

So last night went out with Ben, Jason, Will, and JC again to Beige. It was an ok night. First we drive there and while waiting for Ben, I start to smell burning oil. But I don’t really think anything about it. On the way there I smell it even stronger. Once we got there, I checked under the hood and the oil cap was GONE! So I was nervous about that most of the night.

Plus things with Ben have been really awkward since we had that talk a while back. I just don’t know how to act around him any more, or what to say to him or anything. It’s just getting really frustrating. Even Jason mentioned how awk it was.

Either way, things lately in everything have been really annoying me. Just people in general. I’m tired of working, I’m tired of trying to always be the organizer for things. I’m sick of my “friends” going out and doing things and not inviting me. Etc. As I said the other day, I really think I just need a vacation.

BLAH!

Suze called me Boyfriend!!

So I had my talk with Suze this morning. It was a little confusing as to what was going on. They really should explain it more. Three people came on the line before I even got to suze, and all they said is. “Is this so and so”. I didn’t get a chance to ask when it was going to go on the air. But Suze was really cool and she even called me boyfriend! YAY! 🙂 I love you Suze Orman! She suggested I contact Pension Benefit Guaranty Corporation (PBGC) and a lawyer. So I’ll be having to do that soon.

Sunday was a cold (59) and cloudy day. Great day to sit around the house and do nothing. But alas, I went out and did another 30 miles. Star Map Tour. I’ve done this ride a few times and it’s pretty easy except for one good climb (be sure to click the link and check ot the elevation maps!). I’m pretty damn sore today and I have a HORRIBLE farmers tan! We averaged just over 12mph. After the ride, JC, Tom, Will, Ran and I all went over to The Abbey and had brunch. It was really weird being in there in just biking shorts and what not. I felt like everyone was staring at us! lol.

So is it Dinner or Supper.. Here’s a really interesting article about the great debate. Personally it’s: Breakfast, Lunch and Supper. Except for weekends or holidays when it’s Breakfast, Dinner, Supper. 🙂

Sunday night my friend Manny came over and we hung out and chatted and watched a movie. Great night for movies with the rain and what not.

Ok, time for some work!

80 Mile ride

Well today I had my 80 mile ride. I feel like I could have kept going! And that’s a GREAT feeling!

Stats today:

78.5 miles

14.7 mph/avg

7,400 calories burned!

Lets Ride!

There were a couple really cute boys on this ride too! Cory, or was it Cody. Either way he was really cute, HUGE legs! He really reminded me of Austin though which was strange. Either way, JC called dibs. lol. Plus he lives in San Diego (Navy boy!). One of the others was this cute Asian boy. The last I was noticing throughout the whole ride. At the end of it, Cody, the Asian boy, JC, me and this older guy (in that order) were all sitting outside eating some pizza. The cute boy walks by and apparently knows the old guy, so he sits next to him. So it’s just one guy between me and the cute boy.

Earlier JC and I had been talking about how cute he was and stuff. The older guy CLEARLY had to have heard us, because he threw in some comments. Anyways, he introduced me to the cute boy, Levi. I said Hi and then went into uber shy mode. It was soooo annoying. I really wanted to talk to him, but I couldn’t. 🙁 JC talked to him more then I got to!

Anyways, I found him on myspace, so I’m going to message him later. Do you think that will be creepy?

30 mile ride tomorrow! But it should be pretty easy.

I’ve missed hanging out with Ben lately as well.

Later!