Wow, is the only word that pops to mind when I try to descrive this weekend.
It’s been full of emotional out pourings from everyone in every sense of
the word. It’s been by far one of the best weekends since school started.
I hope they keep up.
Friday night was quite the night. Adam and I were going to go to the homecoming
football game, but itwas cancelled, so we went downtown. Ryan Mcconnell
(sp?) called Adam and asked him out. Adam seems to feel that it should bother
me, but it really doesn’t. I mean I know that he’s going to have to start
dating again sometime, and it will hurt me when he does. But I know that
he will eventually and I feel as though I’m ready to see him do that. It
doesn’t bother me that ryan called and asked him out, what would bother
me though is that if Adam did go out with him. When we broke up, he said
that he didn’t feel that he was ready to date at this point in his life,
and he’s still saying that, so right now I would be hurt if he did. That’s
right now. But I know that that will change someday, and I feel as though
I’ve moved on enough so that when it does happen, it won’t kill me. I’ll
be sad about it, but I’ll also be happy that he’s dating again. Emotions
are such a fucked up thing. I love the relationship that I have with Adam
right now. We’re so close and I love it. I don’t want to lose the friendship
that I have with him.
Saturday was just a totally fucked up day all in all, but it was really
cool. Adam and I met up about 11 or so. He didn’t have any money so he had
to call him mom to see if she would loan him some so he could go to the
dance, well he was on the phone and said that I was going with him to the
homecoming and Rob started making really derogetorry statments and us going
together, and that really pissed me off. He said, "Well Chris, you
should get a dress for prom." I just wanted to fucking scream and him,
and that wasn’t the only time yesterday that he pissed me off. The second
time he was trying to buy my car from me and I told him "NO" and
he just kept going. Grrr. But yeah, Adan and I went out car shopping after
that. It was fun, then we went back to his house and hung out and talked
and just messed around there. Then we went out with my mom to supper. It
was fun, but my Parents just annoy me. She let my brother wear a bright
orange shirt and camo pants to the Macarroni Grill. I was like, OMG. We
heard stories about drunk Little Chris, it was fun. Then after that we went
back to Adam’s so he could get him money, and his mom was really sad I guess
is how I would put it. Bad times there. Then we went to the dance, that
was alot of fun. First schoolesk dance I’ve ever been to. It was great.
After that we went back to the park with Andi and Leah and we hung out and
talked about anything and everything. Adam vented which was good for him
to do and we talked about him and Angie and such. Then we went back to his
house after Leah and Andi left and we ended up talking to him mom for 2
hours, it was really cool to be able to talk to her about everything. I
wish I had a relationship with my parents like Adam does with his.
Today, Sunday’s been just a downer day. It’s been raining all afternoon
and it’s been cloudy all day. I dunno. I was going to leave home at 12 or
so, but I went up to see Mandy at work before I left. I ended up not getting
back to the dorm tell 6. Oh well I had lots of fun, Mandy and I went and
got pictures developed from when Angie left. It was sad. I have them posted
on my wall now, and I’ve been sitting here listening to Graduation Song
and just thinking about how everyone’s changed since high school and everyone
that I haven’t seen since graduation. I dunno. I really didn’t want to come
back to campus today. I just wanted to stay in Ankeny and hang out with
Adam.
Tonight I went out with Katie, Vero, and Ryan. It was good times. We went
to get Katie’s car and she thought she had lost it. It was really funny
cause we were in this parking lot and she was like going insane cause she
thought she had lost it, or it was towed or something. But no fear we found
it. Then went over to Ryan’s and played video games and ate pizza. It was
cool.
I dunno. I’m just really depressed today. I really didn’t want to leave
Ankeny. I’m so sad being back here in the dorms, they’re so depressing and
Grrr. I just hate it here. :'(