My Life

Sept 16, 2001

Sept 16, [Soundgarden, "Black Hole Sun"]

Wow, is the only word that pops to mind when I try to descrive this weekend.

It’s been full of emotional out pourings from everyone in every sense of

the word. It’s been by far one of the best weekends since school started.

I hope they keep up.

Friday night was quite the night. Adam and I were going to go to the homecoming

football game, but itwas cancelled, so we went downtown. Ryan Mcconnell

(sp?) called Adam and asked him out. Adam seems to feel that it should bother

me, but it really doesn’t. I mean I know that he’s going to have to start

dating again sometime, and it will hurt me when he does. But I know that

he will eventually and I feel as though I’m ready to see him do that. It

doesn’t bother me that ryan called and asked him out, what would bother

me though is that if Adam did go out with him. When we broke up, he said

that he didn’t feel that he was ready to date at this point in his life,

and he’s still saying that, so right now I would be hurt if he did. That’s

right now. But I know that that will change someday, and I feel as though

I’ve moved on enough so that when it does happen, it won’t kill me. I’ll

be sad about it, but I’ll also be happy that he’s dating again. Emotions

are such a fucked up thing. I love the relationship that I have with Adam

right now. We’re so close and I love it. I don’t want to lose the friendship

that I have with him.

Saturday was just a totally fucked up day all in all, but it was really

cool. Adam and I met up about 11 or so. He didn’t have any money so he had

to call him mom to see if she would loan him some so he could go to the

dance, well he was on the phone and said that I was going with him to the

homecoming and Rob started making really derogetorry statments and us going

together, and that really pissed me off. He said, "Well Chris, you

should get a dress for prom." I just wanted to fucking scream and him,

and that wasn’t the only time yesterday that he pissed me off. The second

time he was trying to buy my car from me and I told him "NO" and

he just kept going. Grrr. But yeah, Adan and I went out car shopping after

that. It was fun, then we went back to his house and hung out and talked

and just messed around there. Then we went out with my mom to supper. It

was fun, but my Parents just annoy me. She let my brother wear a bright

orange shirt and camo pants to the Macarroni Grill. I was like, OMG. We

heard stories about drunk Little Chris, it was fun. Then after that we went

back to Adam’s so he could get him money, and his mom was really sad I guess

is how I would put it. Bad times there. Then we went to the dance, that

was alot of fun. First schoolesk dance I’ve ever been to. It was great.

After that we went back to the park with Andi and Leah and we hung out and

talked about anything and everything. Adam vented which was good for him

to do and we talked about him and Angie and such. Then we went back to his

house after Leah and Andi left and we ended up talking to him mom for 2

hours, it was really cool to be able to talk to her about everything. I

wish I had a relationship with my parents like Adam does with his.

Today, Sunday’s been just a downer day. It’s been raining all afternoon

and it’s been cloudy all day. I dunno. I was going to leave home at 12 or

so, but I went up to see Mandy at work before I left. I ended up not getting

back to the dorm tell 6. Oh well I had lots of fun, Mandy and I went and

got pictures developed from when Angie left. It was sad. I have them posted

on my wall now, and I’ve been sitting here listening to Graduation Song

and just thinking about how everyone’s changed since high school and everyone

that I haven’t seen since graduation. I dunno. I really didn’t want to come

back to campus today. I just wanted to stay in Ankeny and hang out with


Tonight I went out with Katie, Vero, and Ryan. It was good times. We went

to get Katie’s car and she thought she had lost it. It was really funny

cause we were in this parking lot and she was like going insane cause she

thought she had lost it, or it was towed or something. But no fear we found

it. Then went over to Ryan’s and played video games and ate pizza. It was


I dunno. I’m just really depressed today. I really didn’t want to leave

Ankeny. I’m so sad being back here in the dorms, they’re so depressing and

Grrr. I just hate it here. :'(

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