Author: Cj B

Oct 11, 2001

Oct 11, [Lifehouse, "Quasimodo"]

3 HOURS TELL RENT!!!!

So yeah, it’s Thursday, National Coming Out Day once again. Have you come

out to some one? Well this marks one year of being out for me. Yep that’s

right, one year ago I came out to my cousin. So yep.

Well not much really going on today. Adam’s here right now and we’re waiting

for Julian and gang to get here so we can go to supper. Fun times there.

I went to work this morning and got REAL working, so you know hthose links

that didn’t work a while ago that I tried getting everyone to go to. Well

they work now. lol. So here they are again:

56K: http://216.81.228.151:554/ramgen/Tests/56K_320x2

40.rm

ISDN: http://216.81.228.151:554/ramgen/Tests/ISDN_320

x240.rm

DSL: http://216.81.228.151:554/ramgen/Tests/DSL_320x24

0.rm

Yep, so that’s what I worked on today. I went to Math recit today too and

I understand shit in there now as well. So this weekends going to be major

Math, Acct, Econ, and Soc studing. I got my BusAd final finished so that’s

cool. Yep. I have the last class in there on Tuesday. Yay for that. That

means more hours at Krell, which means more money, which means I can afford

a new car. Yay for good times.

Ok off to RENT now, LATERS!!!

Oct 10, 2001

Oct 10, [Cranberries, "I’m Still Remembering"]

OMG, I didn’t update yesterday, there must have been something really busy

going on for me to have not updated….

Well really not. Nothing happened yesterday. I worked. I went to class.

I came home and did HW. That’s about all I did. Yep. We had an Econ quiz,

and I didn’t know how to do any of it. So I’m going to be spendin this weekend

on MAD Math and Econ studying cause I have a test in both classes next week.

Not much has really happened today either. I’ve gone to classes and such

and that’s about it. I got my English paper done and I think it’s really

pretty good. I hope so. I can’t afford to get a bad grade in that class.

I also looked for cars in the paper. I found a cool 2001 Saturn that sounds

really nice. It’s in PC, so I’m going to stop in and look at it Friday on

my way home. I’ve got alot do this weekend. I should start a list. It’s

kinda a good thing that Adam works afternoons both Saturday and Sunday,

that way I can go and study. I like when he works. We’re together yet, I

get my time to study and he has his time to work. He usually stops over

whenever he goes to get pop and we talk for a bit, so that’s a nice break

and all there. It’s good times. Yep.

RENT’S tomorrow. I can’t wait. I guess Xak is rushing all three days. He

wanted me to stop in and see him yesterday, but I was running late from

work, so I didn’t get the chance too. Grr to that.

I got Vero’s letter to send to Angel, so I’m going to try and send that

package yet today then. Oh, good idea, I’m going to go do that now… Laters

all

Oct 8, 2001 #3

Oct 8, #3 [Enya, "From Where I Am"]

Ok, so everyone knows, Adam and I are better now. 🙂 We talked about everything

and our feelings and it’s good times again…..

RENT is this week. I can’t wait. Adam’s B-day is this week. That’s going

to be fun. I have a Krell lunch on Friday. This week is full. I’ve also

got a paper due on Friday, I have to read Bartleby by Wed. I’ve got two

tests next Tuesday. A Math and a Econ test. I’ve got a Soc quiz coming up

sometime soon. I’ve got an Accounting quiz on Thursday. Gwar. HW is piling

up and I just can’t seem to get it done.

Oct 8, 2001 #2

Oct 8, #2 [Enigma, "The Voice Of Enigma]

Ok, so now that I’m in a semi-non emotional break down state. I’ll talk.

So this weekend was Big Gay Porn weekend for those of you that didn’t know.

Since Adam’s not old enough to buy porn he couldn’t go in, well I wanted

him to go in and help pick it out, so we called up my cousin Steven who

lives just down the road, cause well he has blonde haid and everything.

So he came over and let us borrow his ID, it was funny. We told him we were

going to go Clubbing. It was so funny he was giving us tips as to how not

to get caught and everything. He’s cool. So we went and bought porn, that

was quite the experience. The guy that checked us out, didn’t just check

us out, but flirted like mad with us, and he was all nasty and old and shit.

Ewwww.

On Sunday Abbie and Adam’s grandma came over, that was amusing times, they

asked what Adam’s rainbow sticker that was wierd and akward times there.

Angel called today, that was good times. Well what prompted her to call

wasn’t. I pretty much had a huge emotional break down today. And I needed

someone to talk to, so I called her and left a message. I’m sure that about

all she could make out was sobs, so she called back and we talked a little

bit. By the time she call though I was a bit better and really didn’t want

to talk about it again cause I would have just had another crazy emotional

breakdown. I also talked to Matt again today, that was funny.

Speaking of Matt, today’s his b-day, so yesterday Adam and I called him

and wished him Happy B-day. That was really funny cause he didn’t know who

we were, funny times there.

Bed times, this past weekend Adam and I slept together, not "slept"

together, we just slept in the same bed. That was really nice, but you know

back when he, Angel, and I slept together he cudled with her, and not me.

This weekend, he slept with his back to me. That hurt my feelings in a way.

I know that our relationship is over as bf’s but I mean still. His touch

just makes me happy…..

Alright, so I’m talking to him now, and he’s just pissing me off. I’m going

to go. . .

I’ll eventually get this weekends post up.

Oct 8, 2001

Oct 8, [Enya, "Lazy Days"]

Gwar to alot of things right now. I have a shit load of HW to get done,

and I started it, but I just can’t do it. It’s not that I’ve got better

things to do, it’s that I just can’t do it. I can’t think, I can’t concentrate

on it. I’m supposed to be anylizing ad’s in magazines and I’ve got a bunch

here that I thought would be easy to do. Boy was I wrong. I can’t find things

about them, I can’t anylize them. This paper is due on Friday and I just

can’t think of how to write it, or what to really write about. I’ve got

one Brita water filter ad that I thought would be really cool to use, but

I can’t get it to work out right. The second things to Gwar at is that if

I plug my computer into my hub, it doesn’t work on the network. I don’t

know what’s wrong with it the damn thing. It was working fine, and then

I went to set up the internet on my Linux box which was also plugged into

the hub, and now it won’t work at all. I disconnected my Linux box from

the hub, I moved ports, I tried everything and it doesn’t work. I don’t

know what the problem is. I get a connection to the LAN, but I can’t anything

else. Fucking A. I want internet on my Linux Box. I want another monitor

on my Linux box as well. But I won’t get that, so what the hell. Third Gwar

is to alot of other things in my life.

Classes this morning were odd. I went to them, they all talked, I left.

I’m so fucking lost in my math class that it’s not even funny. I just don’t

know how things in there work, and he’s like, "It’s so simple I don’t

understand why you don’t understand" Gwar at him too. And then I e-mailed

him and asked if he was going to curve the test, and he replied back, "I

am not sure I know what you want. What is curved grade?" I’m like,

what the hell? Fucker. Gwar at him again cause he deserves it.

I hate being away from Adam, we’ve been down this road before, you all

know what I’m going to say, but I’m going to say it again. I love him, damnit

and being away from him just makes it all worse off. I try thinking about

the good times, and that I get to see him on the weekends, but then I always

think that OMG, the weekend is so far away. I just want to be able to hug

him everynight before I leave, I want to see him, just talking to him isn’t

enough for me. I want to be near him, I long for his touch, for his voice,

I need his jokes, I need him to be around me. I don’t want to live like

this for the next 3 years. I don’t want to be so far from him for the next

three, three years. Three fucking years. Three years before even the chance

that then I’ll get to see him everyday. Three long years before the chance

of us moving to Arizona, which even those plans lately seem to be on rocky

grounds.

I forget where I found this from,

but I was amused at least. I’m worth exactly: $1,611,730.00

The other night Adam tried calling Ryan and well he called the wrong Ryan,

and we found out that the Drag Ryan (I’d put her name here, but I can’ spell

it) hasn’t lived at her house for like forever, so that’s odd. But then

we called the right Ryan, and he said that he was going out already, but

that we’d see him downtown. Well we did see him, but it was really acward,

whatever.

So Firday I went searching out a KVM switch, I wanted and needed one. So

I went to Comp USA cause they have everything. They had them, but I was

specifically looking for a LynkSys ProConnect 4 Port KVM Switch, they didn’t

have any, the only ones they had were like $200. I was like, shit I’m not

spending that much on one. So I went to Best Buy, they didn’t have any.

Then I went to Radio Shack and they didn’t have any either, so whatever.

I left.

Grrrrr. He just doesn’t understand.