Category: Not Published

Ok, so probably the last private update before Andrew gets back. This last week has really made me miss him, and I don’t know how I’m going to handle it when he’s gone for good.

I had a dream last night that ended with me and him at an airport, and I was singing ?Leaving on a Jet Plane? I was crying in the dream, and I work up crying right after that. I couldn’t get to sleep for a while after that cause I just laid there crying. I miss him so much, it’s amazing really. Him being here I was falling in love with him, and now him being gone has really made me realize how much he means to me.

He’s a support for me, and he’s someone that I can talk and hang out with, and someone that I care about. I know I keep saying that I don’t want to compare this to Adam, but I’m going to again. When Adam went away for a week, I didn’t see him from Sunday, and then two weeks later Friday (A whole 11 days), and in the whole time, he was gone, I didn’t talk to him either. But yet, I was just like ?Eh, he’s gone.? And I still had a great time, and barely thought of him while he was gone. Andrew on the other hand has constantly been on my mind.

I’m just very excited for him to be getting back.

I hope that my crazy schemes works!

Thinking Of Andrew… Is it time?

And leaning about his past!

Ok, so I’ve figured out what the only thing so far I miss about being with Adam, is that I could have sex (as in SEX) whenever I wanted it. Not that that’s a big deal, but I’ve been horny for that the last couple days. And once I get into meds, my sex drive will plummet. As if it hasn’t already, I mean. I’ve had a sex drive, but not a very good one really. I’ll gladly make Andrew cum, but usually by the time it gets to me, I’m not in the mood to do it, well actually, I’m usually not in the mood the whole time (For making myself cum that is, I’m always in the mood for making other people cum, well as long as I’m not too tired!)

Anyways, after the fiasco today with LJ, I again am reassured that breaking it off with him was the right thing to do. And now I just want to leave a message on his LJ telling everyone what a manipulative bitch he is. Grrrr.

On to better things now…

I didn’t think that Andrew had left me a private entry before he left, but last night I went there too read some of his old ones again, and I found an entry there from him that said:

Here’s your update
I will miss you tons and will be thinking about you every day!!!!!!!!!!
*HUGE ASS HUGS AND KISSES!*
I MISS YOU ALREADY!!! 🙂

I started crying…. I’ve been way to emotional lately. But it was really sweet. And I hope that he is thinking about me every day, because I know that I’m thinking about him everyday. And hopefully he’s not just like “Oh, Chris” at just one point of the day. Eh, whatever. Just so I don’t sound like too much of a crazy obsessive I’m going to stop here.

Although I am really really going to miss him once he moves to college. And I’m scared about where things are going with us when that happens. But I guess the best way to find out is to wait and see what happens in August.

I miss you Drew Bear!

Funny story…

I come home from work tonight and go to my Livejournal to go to my friends page, and checks everyones journals. I get to my journal not to find the white, with black boxes that normally greet me…nope…I found some other random style, and everything is yellow and black. Interesting.

The only way to change those are to log in to my account and go into the settings and change it. For the record, I definately did not do that.

There are TWO people in this world that know my password. Me and ONE other person. And I’d *really* like to think he has at least one iota of respect and maturity in his body, enough to tell him, “This is a bad idea, ass.”

Clearly he doesn’t. I later read on his (non-Live) journal that he today got a livejournal account. Ironic co-incidence. While creating your own, decided to fuck with mine in the process? Nice.

For the record I’ve changed my password so this sort of “incident” doesn’t happen again. I hope to god my layout is ALL you changed or messed with…and you havn’t jumped into Fuckfaceland FULLY with both feet.

Now being who I am, I’ll give him the benifet of the doubt. If I am COMEPLETELY off base here, and some random crazy hacked my journal, and you know who has NOTHING to do with it, I’m sorry for jumping to conclusions. But if I’m right on, and he did, well then…you’re an uber ass…and I can’t believe you’d do that.

*Also, this is NOT to cause a flame war via my live journal…no one leave nasty comments, please. If you have something to say, you know how to contact me in other ways.*

So this is going to be a quick private update…

For some reason I think that you should be comfortable saying, and meaning, the “L” word before having any form of anal sex. I mean, hello! That’s one big thing to be giving up, how can you do it with someone that you don’t feel enough for to be able to say the “L” word.

Anyways… Now that that’s off my chest.

I miss my drew bear!