Category: My Life

July 5, 2001

july 5, [bbmak, "just another day"] ok well today’s been weird.

it’s 2:30 am and i’m just now getting home. i worked today, it sucked. there’s

this little bitchy thing, her names kirsta, and she thinks she owns the store,

someone needs to slap her and put her in her place, which i did tonight. he’s

only 14, which means she can’t sell beer or smokes, she can’t cook pizza,

she’s too fucking short to reach all of the cooler, she’s useless. and tonight

she was trying to fucking tell me how to do my job, so i just got bitchy back

at her and made her doo all kinds of shit. so yeah. grrr at her. but then

after work was great. i came home and changed and xak was like "i’m bored"

so i went over there and picked him up, then we went off to the loop. we got

there adam wasn’t there yet, so we just hung around, we had gone to java joes

and got drinks and brought them to the loop, well we were walking along and

we had just got to this group of people that were all drinking. well all of

a sudden this firework type thing went off in the street and it went flying

past us, so we turned around to see where it went and there was this cop car

right behind us and that firework thing blew up right in front of the cop

car. well the cops stopped and started yelling at the people for drinking.

and we were like, ummmm, yeah. so we walked the other way, cause our drinks

were in plastic cups and stuff, so yeah. that wasn’t good. but then adam and

julian and other people showed up. we hung out for a while, you know, just

random talking and shit. it was good times, it was nice to see julian again,

i hadn’t seen him in a couple days. so yeah. good times. then on the way home

adam and i were talking, and well there’s been this girl from ankeny e-mailing

me and shit. and she’s been like, well i know adam and yeah. well we were

talking and adam fessed up to knowing about my website and reading it and

shit, so yeah. that’s all cool. but now in the afterthoughts i’m like, well

hmmm. i wonder if reading this had influenced his decisions in any way, but

yeah. other then that it’s all cool. i don’t really mind it. danny read (is

that past tense?) it and he still reads it. so it’s all cool. yeah. all cool.

but then i dropped adam off at his house and we hugged. you know the other

night ryan hugged me, the guy that really liked adam,oh i don’t think i’ce

told that story, well maybe later, but ok, well ryan hiugged me and i turned

around and i’m like, ya know, i’m not a touchy feely person. and yeah, but

adam was standing there, and it wasn’t reallydirected at anyone, but ya know,

random people that i don’t know and don’t really like all that much huggin

me is just a no-no. but i think that comment gave adam the wrong impression.

if i like the person i’ll hug them and shit. but yeah. that’s something else.

and then on my way home i stopped into K&G and talked to nic for a while,

luke rolfes was there, and we talked, it was cool. i mentioned my bo friend

and then i was like, opps i bet luke didn’t know i was gay, so i hope he’s

cool with it, he seemed fine, but yeah, it was like, ok. opps. yeah it was

funny talking to nic, we just bitched about work. it was really funny. ok

well i’m bloody tired, i’m going to bed now. night all.

July 4, 2001

july 4, [crazy town, "only when i’m drunk"] well last night was

really cool. it’s noon here now, and i’ve only been up for like 30 minutes.

after work i went out with adam and them, his friends, i can’t remember all

their names right now. but yeah. it was cool. the loop was really busy last

night and we had our own fireworks. hehe, it was cool. adam was like obsessed

with taking pictures he got a couple of me and then he also got a couple of

both of us. hehe. it was good times. well i have to go up to K & G now

so that i can get my payroll info done. laters all.

July 3, 2001 #3

july 3, #2 [smashing pumpkins, "tonight, tonight"] well todays

been weird. i talked to danny, he’s cool with everything, he’s actually seeing

someone else already. lol. yeah, we’re good. i’m still not ready to really

talk to him though, you know on the phone like shit. i don’t really care enough

to though it more it, then i don’t want to. i don’t have the money. i didn’t

sleep at all last night. i’m still kinda in like a shock or something, i dunno.

i hope work today goes well. so i’ll be in a good mood for tonight and shit.

yeah. hehe. good times, good times. some guy’s supposed to be here soon. he’s

going to pay me $50 for fixing a problem old dutch had with some ordering

stuff. it’s cool, $50 for me and all i had to do was type some shit. took

me a week to get it done though. if i had cared though it only would have

taken like an hour maybe. hehe. yeah good times. well i’m going to go now.

i haven’t wondered through the front yard lately, and that looks like fun

right now. laters.

July 2, 2001 #2

july 2, #2 [dropkick murphys, "amazing grace"] ok well we’ll see

how this goes and how well i keep my concentration. yesterday was pretty good.

i went into work about 9:45 so i oculd fill out the papers and such, but she

didn’t have any copies. so i just went to work. i tried clocking in and it

said "this employee has been terminated" and it wouldn’t let me

clock in. damn thing, so i just wrote down my hours. they better have it fixed

by today. i worked, it was work. i was with mandy, brad and sylena most of

the day. they were ok. mandy was getting to me though cause i would keep trying

to explain something to her about how it’s supposed to be done based on what

the home office says, and she just wouldn’t even listen to me, she’d get all

bitchy, and it’s like, yes mandy i realize that different managers do things

differently. but even though you’ve been here longer in the short run of things,

i’ve been here longer in the long run of things. and i know how the store

is supposed to be run, and what is supposed to be done. so yeah, we just stayed

out of each other hair for most of the day. then at 2 sylena and brad left,

so it was just me and mandy. nic and cat were supposed to be in at 3 and mandy

and i were supposed to be off at 5, but cat didn’t show up and nic had just

crossed his hours off and not told anyone and hand’t found anyone to work

for him, so mandy and i were stuck working a 13 and 11 hours shifts, repectivly.

that was not fun. about 9 adam and julian came and got me from work and we

went out. that was fun. i wasn’t in the best of moods last night, but i had

fun. i enjoy being out with people, even when i’m not in a good mood. but

yeah. i dunno. it’s just people have been getting to me lately. like when

i see some cute guy, i’ll say "oh hello" or something like that

and i’ll point him out or something. but ya know that’s as far as it goes.

it’s like hello, cute guy, bubye cute guy, it’s not like i remember them and

obsess over them or anything. but people have been really big jerks about

it lately. like they make comments that all i want is sex and that’s so not

true. what i want now is a bf. i don’t want anything else. sex is millions

of miles down the road. i want someone that’s there that i can talk to, someone

that i can hold thier hand when i go out, someone that i can bring home and

say "hey mom, dad, this is my bf, deal" lol, but really. it’s starting

to get to me how they do that, the whole thing when i point out guys. and

then there’s the whole thing about adam too. i mean i like adam, he’s cute,

he’s funny, he’s what i would want in a bf. but right now we’re just friends.

we hang out. and people have been blowing it way out of porportion. like the

other night when justin was here. i kept wanting to go to the loop, and everyone was like, yeah so you can see adam, and it’s like NO damnit. i want to go

to the loop cause i enjoy hanging out down there, i might not know many people,

but in case you hadn’t noticed, i like to just hang there and watch people.

i don’t get in the conversation i watch it. i watch it develop, i watch where

it’s going, i just watch it and i watch the people. how they act, etc. if

i feel that i have something that will benifit the conversation i’ll interject

it. most of the time i do have something though and i just keep it to myself,

but yeah. i mean. grr. i like adam, i really do like him. but he’s just a

friend and that’s all it’ll be. and people need to realize that.