Author: Cj B

The people we work with in Miami are all fucking bitches. I get down there Friday night and go into the office. All the boxes I had sent down are locked into an office and no one has the key to it. Ugh. I hang out there for a while, talk with the guys, help them solve some issues, etc. Get back to the hotel around 1am and go to bed.

This whole week I have been so fucked up on my sleeping habits. I haven’t been able to sleep till 2 or 3am and have been sleeping in till 9 or 10am. It’s horrible. Anyways. I got up at 10am on Saturday and was supposed to meet this guy to go kayaking with. I texted him, he had said he’d be up early. No reply, so I drove down to Biscane bay to see what was up. The kayaking place wouldn’t rent a kayak because of the potential for severe storms, so that was a bust. I drove back north and went to this place called Viscaya. It was pretty cool, although all the exhibits were all under constuction. From there I drove downtown and ate lunch at this little peruvian place. Met some guy on Grindr and we had drinks at a local bar. My parking ran out, so I left and went down to South Beach to the Erotic Art Musuem. It was pretty cool, although must more hyped up then it should have been.

Walked around the area after that then went back into the office about 6ish. The door to the office the stuff was in had been unlocked, so I got all that and found that the KEY part that I need for Sunday night was missing. So spent an hour on the phone with FedEx trying to find that. THankfully got ahold of this guy named Buzz in Dallas who was very helpful and gave me the name, phone number and address of the place it had been left at. It was about 2 miles away so I drove over there, sadly they had already closed for the weekend!

Went back to the office, setup the driver checkin station, did some other work, helped the guys, etc. Got done about 1am and went back to the hotel. On my way there David texted me asking how Miami was, so I called him back and we chatted for an hour. That was nice to actually talk to him on the phone again.

Sunday I got up and putzed around, went to Best buy, bought some random stuff for the office, did something else in the area, then went into the office again around 4pm. Stayed till midnight again working on random stuff.

Monday is when the fun really started! Got into the office about 10am and went into the office managers office. First thing she says is “How come [the GLC IT guy] isn’t doing all this work”. I said, “Because this is Nav and It’s GTC’s stuff”. She imediately went on the offensive of well we aren’t going to do it, blah blah blah. Then I tell her, “Well I’m here to train you guys on anything you need to learn, etc, so just let me know what you want me to do”. Her response. “We don’t need training, we know everything, it’s the system, it just screws things up”.

UGH! See what I am fucking dealing with. People who REFUSE to take any responsibilitiy for what they are doing! So I send an email to HER boss and MY boss saying that if they want to learn then they need to fucking make me a list. I never got a list.

So her and I got into a yelling match and I just left. That was pretty much the last she talked to me the whole fucking week. I spent the rest of the day in my office working on the driver checkin thing, making if FOOL and FOUL proof so that no one idiot could fuck it up and any idiot could use it. It’s in both english and spanish, allows them to check in once for multiple orders, etc.

I get it done shortly after she leaves and go in to show it to the office guys. They seem to like it. I left it running while I went to do something else and the truck drivers went up to it and just started USING it. Without any explanation or anything. Carlos… POUNDS on the window and says “DON’T USE THAT! You can’t use that”. WTF!

So he and I get into it, then I say “Fuck it” and just leave. He forwrads me an email in spanish from the office manager telling them to NOT DO anything that I tell them to do. Blah blah blah. Fucking BITCH!

So I just leave for the day around midnight again.

Tuesday I go in and focus my time on the GTC people who are down there, spent about 2 hours helping them with stuff, showing them how to do things faster, etc. We also finally got the package from FedEx and we are installing it that night. Didn’t deal with the otherside of the office at all that day, except for ONE issue the office manager comes in and asks me about. I told her that she has to call the sales person or accounting and that it’s not my issue. Which again leads to a HUGE fight over shit. UGH! Seriously. It’s NOT my fucking issue. The customer was OVER their credit limit. That is NOT my department!

OH! I also found out that they are shipping orders in our system AS SOON as the driver arrives… Now, once the driver arrives, it can take HOURS before they are actually loaded. The typical wait time is 3 hours! It can take up to 12 hours to get a driver loaded and I’ve even seen times where it takes more then 24 hours… So OBVIOUSLY the sales people are relying on the system to tell the customers when the driver was loaded. When infact the driver could still be SITTING there waiting to be loaded! HUGE PROBLEM!

Ugh. That night I did the network switch and found out that they had fucked up and got the wrong license for the hardware, so it wouldn’t do what I needed. GREAT! So they had to buy it from Cisco, which they didn’t get ahold of the new licenses until noon TODAY. My flight was at 3pm….

Insanity insues, they fuck things up, I almost miss my flight.

I’m on my way home now. I can’t fucking WAIT to get back to LA! I just really wish that this time I had someone at home waiting for me to cuddle with. Because after this week. I need a fucking cuddle!

Another post about Davey….. :'(

The problem with things like this. Morgan, Constantine, David…. Is that it takes a week or so for it to really hit. A week of them ignoring you, not replying to your txts. A week of everything being different. Not talking to them every day, wondering what they’ve been up to. Wanting to call or text and just say “HEY! What’s up!”. Longing to hear their voice, hear about their day, just talk and chat and laugh again with them.

I was supposed to be busy all day on Saturday. I purposely made it that way. I wanted to keep myself busy all weekend. Instead, everyone cancelled on me and I spent the day sitting at home, being sad, watching TV and wanting to talk to him. I txted him. “I really miss you”….

No reply.

I thought about him all day. Wondering what he was doing, where he was, wanting to just chat and ask him what went wrong. What’s wrong with me that he doesn’t want anything, what’s wrong with him that he’s passing someone like me up!

I talked to Leo, he’s got a bf now. I talked to Michael, he’s got a bf now. I talked to Denny, my hookup, he doesn’t want to hang out because he’s “starting to get attached”. What’s wrong with being attached to me!

Why is it so hard for me to get a fucking BF! I try so hard. I put so much effort into David, into Morgan, into Constantine. Why can’t I keep them around. Am I boring? Am I a bitch? Am I not cute enough?!

I was really spoiled by my second BF, Andrew. Everytime something like this happens, I am just hoping that they’ll fly here to see me. Come and knock on my door to say, “I love you”. But it never happens….

I’m so fucking sick of being single. I’m so sick of just hooking up. I just want to cuddle with someone all night. I want to kiss them, come up behind them when we’re out and just give them a hug. Lay on the couch and watch TV. Go to the beach and watch the sunset together, cook dinner together. I want to do all those lame ass fucking romantic things, but yet no one fucking wants to be with me!

Fuck!

FUCK!

Today I just want to cry… I’ve wanted to cry all week, but I couldn’t. I’m a cold bitch…. Today, I can. I’m to that point. I just don’t get it.

We had such a great fucking time together, we chatted, we laughed, we cooked dinner, we made fire, we camped, we climbed, we bonded!

He hates me

I’m so fucking sick of this shit. Where is MY guy. The guy that will LOVE me back the way that I want to love them. The guy that will actually realize what it means when I treat them the way I do.

THE GUY, MY GUY!

What a trip!

Heading back in time to Thursday. I worked late, had to pick up David from the airport. So I came in at noon and worked til 9:30. Apparently Matt has been leaving early by an hour or two each day. So I was pretty pissed about that and his general lack of ability to keep notes, etc. So I was going to write him up. Then his car got hit by a fork lift and he was throwing very bad language around at Andy and other GLC people. Which is just unacceptable. He and I had some words. Apparently I made him cry.

Went over to the airport and picked up David… I was so happy to see him! He was so cute and he was so excited to be in LA! It was great. I didn’t know if I should hug him or not at the airport, so I didn’t. Just hello and off to the car. We stopped at In N Out for dinner and chatted there.

Drove about 2 hours north to Ridgecrest area. I wanted to sleep at Robbers Roost, but I couldn’t find the entry to it. So we just pulled off the side of the road and went to bed. The drive up there we chatted pretty much the whole way. It was really great to talk to him again. I could already feel the weight on my heart.

Got up early Friday morning and drove north. Got to Bishop around 10 and ate a quick brunch at Schatts then drove to Mammoth to meet up with Connor. Found him at the camp site. The site was amazing and so pretty!

The three of us drove up to the climbing area and found an area with a bunch of 5.7-9’s that were all four or five star climbs. Did all those and decided that would be the perfect place to bring everyone the next morning.

Once we were done with that we had about 2 hours before dinner so we went off to the hot tubs. Got a little lost trying to find them so ended up with only about an hour before dinner. Found a tub that had 4 guys in it, three of them were just getting out so we stopped. The guy that was left, gave us one of the best stories of the trip..

He was a crazy local… I’ll let Connor explain:

As Friday drew to a close, and since the three of us constituted “the group” thus far, we decided that visiting one of the hot spring tubs would be an excellent pre-dinner activity. So we headed out and checked in, via text of course, on all of the converging Bottoms and Flashers. Dinner was to be at 7:30 in Mammoth Lakes. Now 6:30, we were racing to squeeze in our hot dip. We arrived at one of the tubs in a grassy field a few miles from the Mammoth Airport. There were 4 men in the tub, and 3 were getting out. So we jumped in and started chatting with the one remaining man. He had long hair, and wore a old cowboy hat. He identified as a “local” although he also said that his camper was just over the hill.

The scene couldn’t have been more picturesque: there were a few large bull wondering around in the amber fields as the orange sunlight beaming down on the vast landscape was cut in half by the towering mountains to the west.

The local started to tell us about how he was camping on an indian burial ground. He knew this because he had spent the day digging a hole for his second-hand recliner to nestle. And he told us about his “friends” that put on a show for him after kicking back in said recliner. One was black, one was white, and all the women were “hussies”. The black one and the white one got in fights often, but the white one always seemed to win. “The white won had all the power, naturally,” he said. We all shot a look at each other as if to say, “We’re not in the city anymore.” The local saw this non-verbal communication and qualified his statement, “I’m talking about cows, of course.” We all laughed.

When asked what the local does for work, he rambled off about “unlimited funds” and “giving back to the world.” Which I think meant not much more than, “I have a nice truck, possibly because I won the lottery” and “I sit in this hot tub and act like a crazy hippie.” He then insisted us on “showing us” by taking us on a spiritual journey that was supposed to help us live in the moment. It was so silent that for the first time that I began to hear the Enya-like music coming from his truck, as if on cue. Chris and David looked scared, and I decided to provoke the hippie by reaching out and grabbing his extended hand. He told us all to “reach in, close your eyes, and feel your ass.” I think Chris was about to reach for his because, the hippie qualified, “feel your ass against the tub… your legs warmed by the water… etc etc.” It was actually quite fun to think about all of the things he listed from the wind that seemed to gust almost at his will, and the sunlight on our faces. But at the same time, we all knew this guy was crazy and we had to get to dinner. So I told him we had to leave and asked him his name. “I have many.” So I asked for his favorite. “Spirit wind” he replied. I almost cried trying not to laugh.

We got some awesome laughs after that… Headed into dinner and the rest of the crew showed up. Great times!

Got up Friday morning and again hit up Area 13, climbing, etc. Lots of awesome laughs, fun times, and what not. The climbing was pretty typical, the story here is David…

The whole weekend he spent so much time around me, so much time talking to me, we bonded, told stories, joked, spent something like 20 hours together of JUST HIM AND ME without any other group around. And even WHEN the group was around he spent most of his time just around me hanging out. The last night around the camp fire he kept standing RIGHT next to me, arms almost touching, etc. Yet he doesn’t want anything, he’s “taking a break from men”. UGH. I had such an amazing time with him this past weekend, so happy when he was around and it felt so great.

I just don’t get why he doesn’t want anything! I even met some of his family this weekend, which was AWK! I just wanted to hold him, cuddle with him at night, walk up behind him and put my arms around him. On the drive back, I just wanted to reach over and hold his hand. He’s such an amazing person. So smart, so cute, so funny.

I know a lot of other people don’t really see that side of him, he is very shy, but once you get to know him, he’s a great guy.

I also don’t get why he’s still not completely out to his family. His parents know he said they were ok with it. But example his family here in Cali, he wasn’t out to them. They LIVE IN BURBANK! It’s a pretty GAY area. I’m sure they’d be fine with it. He also wouldn’t go into why he’s not out which was annoying.

Also apparently he’d been “sort of dating this guy jesse” in dallas. But apparently that guy has some one else now. So WTF.

It just drives me nuts.

I can’t wait for John to get back so that I can get my mind off David. John at least SHOWS that he has an interest in me. I just wish he were STAYING back instead of just visiting for a month!

Check out the HC blog for more from Connor on the trip.