Author: Cj B

Palm Springs and Wings

Wow, so this past weekend was one of lots of fun but also lots of drama!

Drove down to Los Angeles on Thursday night and went to Wi Spa. I really miss that place. I should start one here in SF BAY or something! They are always so busy too!

Friday morning I did an interview with TSA for my Global Entry. Went super easy but they asked me some weird questions and somehow they knew I worked for a CBP warehouse in the past. Picked up Jason after that and we drove to PS. Got there and then went shopping and had a good time. Hut came that night and it was nice to cuddle with him again.

Saturday we spent by the pool, drinking, smoking weed and just hanging out. Hut took like a 3 hour nap in there. Wings found out that I am going to vietnam with Army. He flipped the fuck out.

Sunday was more of the same, sitting by the pool. This hot asian guy checked in and he was sooooo cute. From NYC and originally in SF. Ended up hooking up with him that night which was fun. But I felt so empty and alone after. I left a note on his door saying “Txt me next time you’re in SF” he actually did text me later that day but just said “Good meeting you blah blah blah”. Will never hear from him again for sure.

Monday drove back to SF and dropped Jason at the airport. Wings was still being crazy. He came over Tuesday and the plan was to just break up with him. But we talked and he convinced me to not. I’m not sure if that was right or not. We shall see.

I also spoke with Army, yesterday he was VERY chatty. He’s officially coming May 11-16 and then again for our Vietnam trip.

Going back Private

It’s been a long time since I had written publicly but earlier this year I decided to go public with my blog again.

I forgot how much drama it can cause, so I have decided to go back to privately posting.

I will continue to post publicly about some big things in my life. But for the most part this will now be a private blog, again.

Thanks!

Wings and Army

So just a bit of an update here… Mostly about Wings and Army.

First Wings, things have been going very well. We’ve had two gym date nights, which are a lot of fun. He comes over, we go to the gym, work out together, come home, cook dinner, then just hang out and spend the night. He goes to school when I leave for work. It’s been super cute, IMHO.

This past weekend he came over after work and spent the whole weekend with me. Saturday we worked around the house then that afternoon we washed one of my trailers and did some other random stuff. Saturday evening we went to the lantern festival which was a HUGE LET DOWN. But it was still fun walking around with him there. Afterwards we went out to dinner at this Chinese place because the CHINESE festival didn’t have any fucking CHINESE food!

Sunday we did a hike in the morning and Astra got to run around like crazy, then we went to this little farmers market and bought some stuff and came home. Spent the rest of the day just sort of lounging around and hanging out.

He’s a really nice guy and I’m enjoying our time together and excited to see where it goes from here.

Army on the other hand, I haven’t really talked to him since he got back from Spring break. There’s been a few short bursts of txts, IE last week he texted me “I need to poop” and I replied “I dunno how I can help you with that” and he said “Me neither” and that was it. One day I texted him a picture of some poppies and said “Beautiful 80 degrees here today” and he replied “UGH”. So whatever.

Going to Palm springs this weekend with Pasta. Should be tons of fun. We haven’t been there in nearly two years and he’s finally making good on his promise from when I was laid off. Driving down to LA Thursday night, then out to PS Friday morning. Looking forward to a good weekend lounging by the pool, drinking and reading a book. I need a book to read!

Work has been work. My new guy is working out very well but I’m super frustrated. Found out the project I was HIRED TO DO A YEAR AGO has been pushed another quarter. The Ceo of the company is saying that “centralized email groups” don’t work. So he wants all the department managers to be able to do them themselves. I am so over this guy, he has no idea what he’s fucking doing. I am ready to start looking for a new job. I just feel so un-utilized here, I feel like my mind is going to mush and now this is TWO FUCKING COMPANIES I’ve been hired at to run a specific project and neither project has materialized.

I really want to start my own company that actually works and makes enough money for me to live on. Weed is the next big thing, I need to start a weed farm! Or any sort of farm, I feel like there’s not a TON of money in farming (unless you’re huge) but there’s guaranteed money. Everyone needs to eat!

4th Date, 3nights.

So this past weekend I had a three day 4th date with Wings. He came over Friday after work and we hung out a bit and then went to bed. Saturday we got up and he helped me paint the master bedroom which was a huge help and success… He did a good job. We got done with that about noon and went to get lunch from there we went to the office, picked up one of my trailers, brought it home, fixed it then washed it then returned it. That evening we went to the lantern light festival which was a HUGE let down.

This fucking CHINESE festival didn’t even have any Chinese food!

We went home and rested and went to bed. Sunday we got up, did a nice hike in the hills, went to a farmers market where this gay guy was selling pastries (not very good) then came home and I was going to get my car washed but the place was appointment only! Ugh.

So we did some other errands, came home and just laid around the house. We ended up having sex which was nice but I didn’t cum and he was like “you didn’t like me” ugh.

That gets me to what my biggest problem with him is, he’s SO NEGATIVE about everything. His face, his body, his job, his english, etc etc etc. Negative all the time.

Army! I haven’t talked to him basically since he came back from spring break. He texted me last week while I was on a date with wings saying “I might come out May 6-16”. WTF. OK. I dunno WTF is going on with him.

The optics of the relationship

Ok, wow. Today got crazy. I started writing this like 9 hours ago….

I spent a lot of time at the gym yesterday thinking about the optics of relationships and how much they impact my preference for who I date.

So explanation. Take Calvin for example, he’s a Doctor. I think a large part of why I stayed with him so long was because he is a doctor, I knew that whenever I introduced him to people they would be impressed. I knew that we would never have to worry about money. I knew that he would always have a job. Etc etc. There’s so many benefits to having a nice job like that.

Army.. Army is well, Army. There’s a certain prestige to being in the army. It’s nice to say to your friends and family “Oh he’s in the Army.

And well then there’s people like Wings. I’ve dated plenty of them in the past but haven’t introduced them to my family and have usually mostly kept them pretty private. IE JonJon, Mexican, etc. They all had part time jobs in retail and I was always sort of embarrassed to tell people what they did.

Is it bad to think about these things and put so much thought into them? I’m not sure.