Author: Cj B

Sorry it’s been a while. I’ve been busy in Hawaii and dealing with stuff at work/personal.

So the guy, I don’t even have a name for him, after he moved out things went down hill. I told him we needed to take things slower. We saw each other a few times and it was nice. Then Wed before PS he came over but said he didn’t want to spend the night, which I thought was weird. Thursday he sends me this message on OkCupid about how he “Caught me”. Not exactly sure what he CAUGHT, but whatever. He then proceed to create new tinder, grindr, etc accounts. Which is fine, however the fact he sent the message on OKCupid and then also did all those accounts without even talking about it was the final decision maker. I am not going to date someone who’s so impulsive and dramatic about things. I told him things weren’t working out and while I drove to PS he proceeded to send me multiple text messages that continued to get angrier and nastier. So whatever. I would have liked to have continued to date him and see where things go but after those texts. I’m done with him.

I was in PS for Florance’s memorial. It was great to see the family and hang out with everyone the days were very busy and we had a lot going on. I got an AirBNB at this “Nudist gay” house. It was this couple who was in their 40’s. They were super nice but there was this underlying sexual vibe which was a bit annoying. They also had this HOT young twink there every night that they slept with in bed. So that was a bit weird. I only saw them a little bit.

Of course while I was there both Grandma and Deb brought up Calvin which was super annoying and made me sad. Even after cutting him out of social media and texting for months now it’s hard. Why can’t I just get over him. Deb of course went on her standard “I was sure you guys would get back together and blah blah blah”. I was like “yes deb. I wish so too” but of course it’ll never happen now.

While I was down there I matched with this guy who works at Whole Foods. He’s moving to SF like TODAY so hopefully we will hang out and be friends/see where things go.

I also had a date with this guy who lives in LA. I forgot how we matched but he’s super in to cars and outdoors and woodworking and straight things like me. We’ve been chatting a lot and we went on our first date which I really enjoyed. He was also WAY cuter in person than in his pics. I just messaged him telling him about my status and now anxiously waiting his reply. Since he lives in LA, it’ll be weeks between when we see each other so I felt it important to let him know sooner so we both don’t waste each others time.

Got back from PS and left for Hawaii the next day. Army flew in the day before and we did dinner then went to the hotel and just watched Game of Thrones. Flew out Wed morning arrived in Hawaii and then just hung out that first afternoon. Thursday we did Road to Hana which was BEAUTIFUL. I wish we had more time. I sort of rushed us through part of it but also we did a lot of waterfalls and there’s only so many waterfalls and beaches one can see in a day and still enjoy them. That night we were texting with gym husband. I was driving so Army was doing the texting.. Army gave Gym Husband his phone number and then instantly Gym Husband FACETIMES Army. They end up spending like over an hour facetiming. Gym Husband talks a LOT.

The next day we got up at 5am and went Scuba diving. The diving wasn’t that great which sucked and I thought that on the second dive they would have Army join the main group but that didn’t happen which sucked. Diving was done by 9:30am so we went back to the hotel, made breakfast and then napped. That whole day we were both EXHAUSTED. We went to a beach and hung out then had dinner with Gym Husband. Again he TALKED AND TALKED AND TALKED. I think Army and I said like 5 words each. That boy needs a fucking Adderall or something. After that night, we didn’t hear from him again. Not sure WTF happened there.

The rest of the trip was just driving, beaches and hanging out. We had a super fun time. (I think?) I really like Army and I glad to have him around. I know we’re both in very different places in life and we’d never mesh. But I care about him a lot and glad to have him in my life.

I got another tattoo.

Flew back home last night, dropped Army off at the airport and then drove home. I was sad to see him go.

Back at work today.. Already looking forward to the weekend.

I’ve been getting super upset about my progress at the gym lately. I’ve plateaued and I don’t know what to do next. It’s also been annoying to not have a workout partner/friend to go with or even someone supporting me or encouraging me.

I should probably setup a new routine but even just going to the gym has been a hassle lately. I’m still going. Just not pushing myself like I used too. I’ve been STUCK at this 210lbs area for like 6 months now and even though I’ve been slowly adding weights I just don’t see my Body fat go down or my Muscle mass go up!

As for other stuff, things are still going with the guy. He moved out of the house and we have been seeing each other a few times a week. We’ll see how things continue. He’s super nice and we connect sexually, but so far I just haven’t seen the emotional connection. But those things takes time.

I am headed to Palm Springs this weekend to see grandma. It’s a memorial for my great aunt and my Grandma and my Aunts are going so it’ll be nice to see them there.

Then I come back for one day then off to Hawaii.. I’m Super excited about that but I still have a lot of planning that needs to be done!

I’m also finally starting to get working on my bedroom set. I’m nearly completed with the first dresser and I really am happy with how it’s coming out. I’ve learned a lot and there’s a lot that’s not PERFECT. But it looks great so far.

Wow. So It’s been a bit since I last updated and my life has been a bit of a whirlwind TBH.

Let’s see, met the Math teacher and he’s a nice guy but not sure it’s a real fit. I want to hang out with him again but need to find the right time for that.

The night after that I had a date with this Chinese boy who has been in the USA for 10 days. His profiles all say “Here for a husband”. He’s cute but not super hot which is fine. We met for dinner that night and then hung out again Friday night and he spent the night at my place. Sunday he texts me and says he “needs to get out of the place he’s staying” and asked if he could move in to my place as roommates. I knew that was a bad idea, but for some reason I allowed it to happen anyway. He moved in Sunday night. By Wednesday we already had a massive fight because apparently I kept degrading him telling him he needs to work and work out, etc. Yes, I did say he should work out. But it’s because I wanted to have him work out WITH me. Cause it felt bad/weird that he would be at home alone while I was at the gym and RE the job. What I would do is suggest “oh that’s a good business idea, you can do that”. But he took them wrong and got all pissed off and posted this thing on reddit…

By Thursday we agreed he should move out and he said he was finding a place in San Jose which was fine for me. But then Friday he tells me he found a place in Vallejo. So Sunday he moved out of my house and into the place in Vallejo… Now honestly I have no idea what I think about that. Everything is just moving WAY too fast for me. I mean I too am looking for a husband but we should never have moved into together after 2 fucking dates.

So we shall see what continues to happen.

Not a lot has really happened TBH. USPS and I haven’t spoken in a couple weeks. I decided after his “I’m dating a POZ meth head” comment that I can’t deal with him.

I went to Vegas for a week. I was really dreading being stuck there for a whole week but it ended up being fun. I went for a conference but my anxiety got the best of me. I went to see shows every night which was super fun and met a couple guys while I was there. One of them was this guy from Shanghai, we spent 3 days together. He was super adorable but we talked politics and it was so crazy how brainwashed he was. Like he told me that the chinese social point system was great, that there are no labor/re-education camps in china and that the news/google is controlled by our government.

While I was there I also met this cute filipino boy who lives in Concord. We hung out one night and had fun but after that he went a little crazy and like if I didn’t answer him RIGHT AWAY on text, he would message me on instagram AND gridnr. Super annoying

The dates I had lined up all cancelled on me. 3 one weekend and 2 the next weekend 🙁

Supposed to have a date tonight with the math teacher. Excited for that to see how we click in person.

Work kinda sucks. While I was in Vegas my sys admin just quit on me. Which is good and bad. It’s bad timing but I’m glad he quit cause I was going to fire him anyway. Also like 3rd quarter of last year I ewnt to my boss and said “I need a market adjustment raise” because I make WAY UNDER MARKET here. He said “Sure we can do that but it has to wait until January”. Ok, fine. I can wait. Well the company as a whole gets a cost of living increase in March… come to find out. I”m NOT getting a cost of living increase. Which is total BS.

Going out in SF tomorrow night with Darin and one of his friends. That will be interesting.

So, let’s start with the easy stuff….So the one date guy he and I hung out again, I spent the night at his house. We chatted after that. He wanted to hang out. Then BAM yesterday. “Sorry, but I’m just not ready to date anyone right now”. WTF.

USPS we have been chatting nearly every day. We had lunch and he really pissed me off there. Like the VERY FIRST THING he said to me was “Oh, I’ve been dating this poz guy but he dumped me because he’s a meth head.” Ok. WTF. Apparently he went to therapy which is good his first meeting was the day before he messaged me again. I wonder if that had anything to do with it. I dunno what else to say about him. Just normal chit-chat, we haven’t really hung out again.

Pasta and I have been chatting but not very much and keeping thins very light. Which I’m fine with. I’m honestly not sure where I want things to go with him.

Had a few dates over the past week. One was a therapist who said he doesn’t like to talk outside of work because work makes him talk to much. So that’s clearly a no-go. I want a partner who is willing to talk to me. Another was a guy from SAC but we didn’t really click very well, he’s nice and super into plants and stuff.

Supposed to have a date this Sunday with a 6’3″ Asian guy, he looks super cute, but we haven’t really talked much so I don’t know anything about him and then going to have another date with this younger math teacher.

I just don’t know what’s up with me or what’s wrong with me. I seem to have no problem GETTING dates, but I can’t seem to keep any of them past 1-2 dates. I’m getting really sick of this.

Today is day 10 of working straight through and someone booked a meeting for me today from 4-5pm. I leave work at 4pm. 🙁

The trailer business is also down this year. I’m super super NERVOUS right now cause I only have two reservations for all summer so far.