Ok, here’s the update FINALLY. It probably won’t be as long as you’d like honey. Don’t hate me!! 🙂
Well, the week before Chris came I did a lot of thinking. Mainly at work, since I sit there and think and do nothing else. What did I think about? Well, I wantd to give Chris my virginity. I could not think of any reason not to. I know I alwyas said I would wait until I was married, but I didn’t want to any longer. Chris means the world to me, and I decided that I was ready to share that special thing with him. By the time he showed up, I had decided for sure that was what I wanted to do.
I told him that one night and he said no and he didn’t seem like he wanted to. I understood taht he had to prepare himself as well, because I can understand him being scared that I was just saying it and didn’t really mean it and stuff. Anyways, we didn’t do it that night, and didn’t talk about it again.
Until the last night. I was completely prepared, I was clean, and I wanted to do it. Chris and I sat and kissed, and we started messing around. I told him that I wanted him to make love to me. He was unsure at first, and kept saying we should wait, and did I really want it and whatnot. but I did. I was sure of it. I wanted to use a condom, so he had to run to the car and get one.
He was wonderful throughout it. He never went too fast, he always asked how I was doing, he constantly made sure it didn’t hurt. It took awhile before we were actually going, becasue I had to get used to it. But once we did, it was just magical. I’m very glad that we did that. I don’t regret one single thing. It’s brought our relationship up to a whole otehr level. Though we didn’t really get to experience that b/c he left the next morning. But it was truly a great experience.
I’m glad that I decided to share it with him. Regardless of whether we stay together or not in the long run, I will never regret it. My first time was with someone I love more than anything else in the world, and I will never forget it.
Thank you honey for giving me such an unforgettable night. It was amazing to share that with you, and I would not have done it unless I truly truly loved you, I hope you know that.