15:03:07 Adam – Sluk: Hi!
15:03:11 pischkoa: Hi
15:03:22 Adam – Sluk: What’s up?
15:03:29 Adam – Sluk: I love you.
15:03:36 pischkoa: Not much, just working… How about you??
15:03:39 pischkoa: I love you too.
15:04:07 Adam – Sluk: Waiting for Missy…she takes like an hour to get ready, so she won’t be here till like 4
15:04:46 pischkoa: I see, where are you going?
15:04:57 Adam – Sluk: I have no idea.
15:05:01 pischkoa: Oh, I see.
15:05:04 Adam – Sluk: Just doing something…
15:05:06 Adam – Sluk: lol
15:05:09 pischkoa: So where’d you go last night?
15:05:15 Adam – Sluk: So how was your day been
15:05:28 pischkoa: It’s alright. I bought a new computer.
15:05:58 Adam – Sluk: Hung out with Missy and Rob. Tara and Jessica showed up, Tara was a bitch and flipped out so we (Missy, Rob and I) said fuck this and went to the loop.
15:06:04 Adam – Sluk: Really? What kind?
15:06:18 pischkoa: Same as the one I’ve got now.
15:06:28 Adam – Sluk: Sweet action! Congrats!
15:06:29 pischkoa: I see. So you had fun then, eh?
15:06:37 Adam – Sluk: Everything ok?
15:06:40 pischkoa: Yeah.
15:06:44 Adam – Sluk: Promise?
15:06:47 pischkoa: Yes.
15:06:55 Adam – Sluk: How did the doc appt go?
15:07:12 pischkoa: Fine… She said to stay on the meds, it’s either bichy, or now sex….
15:07:16 pischkoa: no*
15:07:46 Adam – Sluk: Hmm, why does she insist on staying on *those* meds?
15:07:49 pischkoa: So what have you been up to today?
15:08:07 pischkoa: Cause that’s pretttly much all that’s left, unless you don’t want to have sex.
15:08:36 Adam – Sluk: I can deal with that…It’s a lot harder to deal with not knowing what’s in your head.
15:09:39 Adam – Sluk: I guess you’re going to get your time though to go out without me, like you said you wanted not all that long ago.. Enjoy.
15:09:46 Adam – Sluk: What’s that mean?
15:10:22 Adam – Sluk: I know you’re mad in general at the stituation, but are you mad at me?
15:12:14 Adam – Sluk: ???
15:13:46 Adam – Sluk: Hello?
15:13:54 pischkoa: Sorry.
15:14:12 Adam – Sluk: Sorry?
15:14:14 pischkoa: No, I’m not mad are you…
15:14:20 pischkoa: (I had to go somewhere)
15:14:24 Adam – Sluk: Oh..
15:14:39 Adam – Sluk: It seems like you are xtremely resentfull of me right now.
15:14:40 pischkoa: You said like two weeks ago, that we should go out more seperatly.. You’re getting that now, so enjoy that time.
15:14:47 Adam – Sluk: Why would you say that?
15:15:02 pischkoa: Say what?
15:15:03 Adam – Sluk: Bull shit, you know that THIS is not what I wanted
15:15:17 pischkoa: Then what do you want?
15:16:32 Adam – Sluk: I want to be with you, that doesn’t nessisarily mean we’re attached at the hip…it also doesn’t mean we don’t see eacother for a week at a time either. How could you look at this situation and think that’s what I WANT? that hurts that you would think that
15:19:26 pischkoa: I didn’t say that we weren’t going to see each other for a week. I’m not accusing you of not wanting to spend time with me. I’m just saying that you said we should go out more seperatly.. And now you’re getting that time to do it… So enjoy that time… I’m pissed off at me, not you because it’s me that can’t go out and it’s my schedule that isn’t allowing it. It’s my choice to go to school and to work… I could have not taken classes this summer and spent another semester in school… But I didn’t think it would put this much of a burden on our relationship and I didn’t think it would be this hard for me to go out. The whole situation is just really pissing me off right now. And I can’t help that.
15:21:46 Adam – Sluk: It’s pissing me off too. We’ve been going through a couple rough patches lately, rougher than we’re used to anyway, and I think I’ve remained pretty cool about it, but when I talk to you, or read your site , I feel sad becasue I’m going out and I’m having fun and you can’t
‘t.
15:23:43 Adam – Sluk: And I feel like you’re doubting us. I don’t like where this is going. We need to end this now or our relationship is going to suffer. Something has to happen, I don’t want to lose you Chris.
15:24:03 Adam – Sluk: I’m scared…I don’t like this
15:24:46 pischkoa: And I don’t want to lose you either… You shouldn’t feel sad about it, it’s my problem… Go out and have fun.
15:25:26 Adam – Sluk: It doesn’t work that way Chris, that just out of sight out of mind. as soon as I talk to you the real world bites me.
15:25:59 Adam – Sluk: Now you tink with the next class you won’t have to study and shit as much?
15:26:00 pischkoa: I’m not in anyway doubting us and that hurts me that you feel that way.. What have I done to make you feel that I’m doubting out relationship??
15:26:24 pischkoa: I don’t think so, but I never know, I didn’t think this whole summer thing was going to be THIS big of a deal, but it’s turned out to be.
15:26:39 Adam – Sluk: I don’t know, that’s just how I feel…I’m sorry
15:27:23 pischkoa: Why do you feel like that though?
15:27:50 Adam – Sluk: The fact that I’m sitting here crying does it enough. I havn’t cried about us since we broke up. It scares me Chris. I’m not doubting us at all I swear, but I’m scared for us
15:28:23 Adam – Sluk: I don’t want anyhitng to come between us, ever.
15:28:35 Adam – Sluk: This sucks and I am completely powerless
15:29:40 pischkoa: Adam, every night I go to bed crying because I can’t go out, every night that I have to leave early, or just can’t go out period. I go home and I cry and I go to bed crying because I can’t be with you and I know that it hurts you. I agree that this sucs and I’m completely powerless as well….. Nothing will come between us, we went though alot worse then this before, well make it through this… It’s just going to take some talking.
15:29:42 Adam – Sluk: I feel depressed for the first time in a long time, and I can’t do this by myself
15:31:36 pischkoa: I’m sorry that I’m doing this to you… But, I don’t know what I can do to help it. I have to work to be able to support myself and I have to go to school to be able to graduate on time. I’ll be there as much as I can…. I love you, and I want to be there as much as I can.
15:32:46 Adam – Sluk: I know, and don’t think you’re doing this to me. You don’t have any more choicers than anyone else. This is’nt your fault at all. IT’s the consequences we have to for something good to happen. Don’t worry about me.
15:33:00 Adam – Sluk: WQe just need to talk and figure out ways to get more time together
15:33:09 pischkoa: I am going to worry about me, just like you’ve benen worrying about me.
15:33:44 Adam – Sluk: I worry about you nayway, it no big deal
15:34:01 pischkoa: worry about you*
15:34:16 Adam – Sluk: I know…by what you mean not what you say…
15:34:25 pischkoa: Ok, I just wanted to make sure.
15:37:30 Adam – Sluk: We can deal Chris, I know we can. It’ll just take some effort on both parts
15:38:02 pischkoa: It’ll take alot of effort on both our parts, but I know we can deal with it.
15:38:12 Adam – Sluk: I love you
15:38:15 pischkoa: I love you too
15:38:21 Adam – Sluk: *hugs*
15:38:24 pischkoa: ::hugs::
15:38:27 pischkoa: :-*
15:38:45 Adam – Sluk: In other news, I have blue hair…
15:38:53 pischkoa: Cool bean.
15:39:01 Adam – Sluk: And I slept till 2:30 and about shit my shorts
15:39:15 pischkoa: Dork, perhaps you should go to bed earlier
15:39:21 Adam – Sluk: I freaked out…I am now going to set an alarm…
15:39:37 Adam – Sluk: I got to bed at like 1 or 2…I just don’t sleep
15:40:45 pischkoa: lol
15:41:17 Adam – Sluk: We should go to the First Friday Brekfast Club next month with Dustin and Rob
15:41:26 Adam – Sluk: OK ait, total topic change…
15:41:26 pischkoa: When is it?
15:41:32 Adam – Sluk: Called Gap this morning
15:41:42 Adam – Sluk: First Friday of the month
15:41:50 pischkoa: Time??
15:41:55 Adam – Sluk: And I am hired…
15:42:00 Adam – Sluk: however…
15:42:41 Adam – Sluk: They’re hiring more people and it’s not very effient to only train one person in the class, so they won’t train me till end of July…
15:42:54 Adam – Sluk: So it appears the job search will go on…
15:43:15 Adam – Sluk: FUCK I hate job searching
15:43:29 pischkoa: Hmmm, that sucks.. I wonder if they realize how un-business like that is to make prospective employees wait that long to start.
15:43:38 pischkoa: Good job on getting hired though…lol
15:43:40 Adam – Sluk: Apparently not…
15:43:42 Adam – Sluk: Thanks
15:44:12 Adam – Sluk: I’m pissed though. I *really* wanted to quit soon. Preferably before the weekend so I can go to the parade onm Sunday
15:44:19 pischkoa: Yeah
15:44:29 Adam – Sluk: Grrr…can’t anything ever be simple
15:44:34 pischkoa: Nope
15:45:09 Adam – Sluk: From me experience the Gap isn’t ery professional anyway, they’ve never called me back, they make me wait a week betwwen potential phone callss
15:45:26 pischkoa: Yeah, I would say they aren’t very professional.
15:45:48 Adam – Sluk: Well, Rob and Missy are applying at Perkins…maybe I’ll go there *shudder*
15:46:03 pischkoa: lol
15:46:14 pischkoa: Missy already has a job, why’s she applying for another one?
15:46:40 Adam – Sluk: Missy talked at one point about working at a truck stop, I guess you make decent money and awesome tips from crazy truck drivers…
15:46:46 pischkoa: lol
15:46:53 Adam – Sluk: She doesn’t like Hy Vee anymore than we do…
15:46:56 pischkoa: While you suck thier dicks you make awesome tips.
15:47:08 Adam – Sluk: *shudder again*
15:47:28 Adam – Sluk: So maybe today Missy and I will play Apllication Handing in Game
15:47:37 pischkoa: Fun times.
15:47:45 Adam – Sluk: Not really…
15:48:06 Adam – Sluk: Ha here we go…if Krell hires me then we can spend time together…
15:48:13 pischkoa: Ha, yeah right.
15:48:43 Adam – Sluk: I dress up like Ramsey, and I’ll kidnap him and keep him in the shed, and I’ll come to work for him
15:48:59 pischkoa: Sure thing, cause you tow look so much alike.
15:49:34 Adam – Sluk: Make up…curly shaggy wig…I’m hot to boot and from what I’ve heard about Nazanine, she’d never notice the difference…
15:50:03 pischkoa: lol, only you’re like 10 feet talled them him and don’t have the accentish thing he’s got going.
15:50:22 Adam – Sluk: I can fakje it…the hight thing would take some planning
15:50:30 pischkoa: lol
15:50:43 Adam – Sluk: *wrings hands* Mwa ha ha ha ha
15:52:17 pischkoa: http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.gsp?product_id=1841114&cat=86798&type=1&dept=3944&path=0%3A3944%3A3951%3A41937%3A86796%3A86798
15:54:04 pischkoa: Ok, I have to leave, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow since you’re already going out with Missy tonight.
15:54:07 pischkoa: Love you ::hugs:: :-*
15:54:20 Adam – Sluk: OK babe! Love you!
15:54:27 Adam – Sluk: \*hiusg*
15:54:30 Adam – Sluk: wow…
15:54:34 Adam – Sluk: *hugs*
15:54:40 pischkoa: Bye!
15:54:52 Adam – Sluk: Bye!
Pissed Off
Sometimes I don’t know what I want. I love Adam, but he can be just so damn inconsiderate sometimes. I mean, like yesterday, he worked until 8, but never bothered to call me once he got off to see if I wanted to do something, you know that would have been nice if he would have fucking called, I would have gladly gone out for a couple hours, considering I sat around home all night waiting for him to call and get off work so that we could do something, and many times through out the night I got the idea in my head that… Maybe he’s not really working, maybe he just told me that so he could go out with people and not have to come back at 9 and then go back out. I feel as though I’m more of a burden then anything right now. Because he has to come home so early.
Then today, he just assumes that I don’t want to do anything, doesn’t even ask if I was going to be around before he called Missy and goes out with her. Thanks alot Hun..
Sometimes I wonder about them. I know Missy wants to have sex with Adam, I know how much she likes him. I fear that I may loose him. I’m scared about losing him to someone else.
::cries uncontroably in my office::
What’s happeneing in our relationship right now?? Do we want to continue? I don’t know. I know that I do. I love him, or at least that’s what I think this feeling I get when I leave him is love, or is it happyness to be away… I don’t know about that either. I feel as though I love him, I get jelious of him when he goes out with others, I get sad when I can’t see him, but I also get more pissed off when I can’t see him and when I don’t have that feeling of him there.
When he goes out without me, I feel as though he’s out there having fun and here I am stuck doing Hw, I resent him for that. I want him to at least make sacrafice to be around me, you know how much I’ve sat around his house waiting for him to do HW, or waiting for him to mow his yard, or waiting for him in general doing something. I wait because I love him and I’d rather spend that time sitting on his bed watching him do Hw, or messing with his bonsai’s then I’d rather spend out and about with friends….
That’s another thing is that with him spending all the time with our friends, they’re all going to think “Adam’s the fun one” and such like that, just the general contact will do that to them, they’ll forget about me and what I do when we all go out. They all already call him more then they call me. I wonder sometimes if they like me, or if they all just put up with me cause I’m there and they like Adam.
I sit in bed every night that I can’t go out with him crying, because I miss him, because I want to be out there, because… because of everything, I lay in bed crying.
Empty?
Well my life seems fairly empty lately… eh? I haven’t had much going on except school and work and more school. It sucks really. The quiz we had yesterday was alright in all regards. Apparently no one got the answers totaly right, so today he gave us an opinion quiz. Since the quizes are more to promote class attendance and award those that attend rather then for actual grades he said he was going to give everyone points for yesterdays and todays quizes, which is cool.
I haven’t seen Adam today, cause he worked tell 8 and never called me when he got off, and I won’t get to see him tomorrow either cause I have a paper to write, god damnit… oh well only one more week of this class and then it’ll be over, but then I’ve got that other one starting the day after… Gwar.
He did tell us though that we have a quiz on Monday, so I must study the chapter for that day… Actually it’s two chapters so I wonder what he’s going to quiz us on… Hmm.
I hate having to go to summer school… I promise I’ll stop bitching sometime soon. But I mean, it just sucks. I knew this summer would suck, and looky here, it is sucking. I can’t go out past 9 if I want to be awake in class the next day, which means I can’t go out at all with friends and such. I haven’t gone out with Adam yet on a weekday. ::whines alot:: I just want to be young again… But doesn’t everyone.
I’m sure everyone’s sick of my bitching, so I’ll stop now… Night all… 🙁
Fast Moving
So the last couple days have really gone by fast. I mean, not much has really happened, but it’s just been flying by. Gwar.
Last night I went to the GLRC, good times there, well as good as they get, I suppose. I studied Social Psych and shit. Yeah.
Afterwards we went to java Joes with Rob, Dustin, Julian and Betsy (sp??). Good times.
Today’s been very busy as well. Chris and I took Nazanin one of ours biggest proposals so far and she ate it up according to plan, so all is going well.
I must study now, we had a quiz today and I didn’t know anything for it. Night All. Have fun and shit without me!
Morons
So the last two days we’ve ran into some nice morons, so I thought you all would enjoy the stories.
Well yesterday Adam and I were at the mall, when we were leaving there’s two lanes, I was in the right lane and some other ass hole guy was in the left lane. I happened to be going faster then the guy in the left lane and was passing him when he decided that he wanted to get over in my lane, without signaling, or looking. I SLAMMED on my brake, gave a honk and started driving again when all of a sudden, he’s in front of me, and put slammed on his brakes. So I stopped, then he gets over in the left lane again, stopps and starts flipping me off and waving at me to go past him, and I’m like hell no I’m not going past him, cause I figure as soon as I start to go, he’s going to pull that same shit and try running into me again. So I sit there for a bit all the while he’s waving at me to go, and being a total ass hole road rage mother fucker. So I decide that I don’t need that shit and turn around and go out the other way. What an ass hole.
Then today Adam and I were at Saylorville, we were going over to the place we always go… There was a car parked there when we got there, but that wasn’t that big of a deal, cause alot of people go there. So we park and start walking down to the shore. We get down there and there’s like there three white trash ass holes there. Two guys and a girl. We see them and decide to walk the other way. So we do.
They left a short while later and we didn’t think anything about it… Tell they go over the dam and scream down at us “FAGS!” We were like, oh shit, they beat Adam’s car. So when we start heading back up towards the car, we saw that he had a front windshield, so we’re like, “Ok, you have one windshield….” as we got closer, “You’ve got a rear window…” and closer, “Ok, You’ve got all your windows.” So we get up to his car and he goes to his side and I go to the passenger side and he says… “FUCK!” They had spit all over the drivers side of his car. The fuckers. Like nasty nasty spit and snot and shit. It was gross. As we looked closer we found that they also kicked is doors a couple times and ripped off his sticker on the back of his car. What fuckers.
Why must people be such moronic assholes?? Why?