Author: Cj B

So this past weekend was bishop. Very interesting trip for sure.

Morgan

Yep. He was there. I knew he’d be there, we had been exchanging emails for the week prior. I didn’t think it’d be so hard to see him though or that things would go down the way they did. The last email I had sent to him said that if he wanted to chat or climb or whatever that I’d be down. I gave him my contact info and where I’d be climbing. No reply from him. We get there and go climbing Friday.

Friday was a great day of climbing. Did the upper gorge. Froze our asses off. It was just EC and I. Gavin and NoNo arrived later. EC led this 5.9 and then a 5.10a. The 5.10a was really cool cause it was super exposed. I’m glad that he’s been leading so much because I’ve been kind of a pussy and plus my shoulder. Once the other two showed up we did another really long 5.10a and then scurried out of there cause it was so fucking cold.

Went to dinner with Mikey and gang… Who just so happens to be there at the register NEXT to us.. Morgan. He ignored me. I ignored him.

Dinner was great fun then we tried to go to the hot tubs. There was a lot of snow. The infiniti does not like snow. We got stuck. Dug for like 30 minutes and then thankfully some hot boys showed up with a 4×4 and towed us out of there! yay! Had to use my old climbing rope to do that. So I threw it away. 🙁

Got back to the hotel, ate some yummy cheesecake and then went to bed. EC and I fooled around…

We got up the next morning and went to this tiny bakery in across from the hotel. We were sitting there eating and who walks in but Morgan! He sits at the table RIGHT next to us. Gavin says it looked like he was about to say HI to me, but I guess he changed his mind or something. I got up and left shortly after that.

That day the four of us went climbing at the central gorge. Warm up wall and then Warning signs wall. Good fun there as well. It started snowing. We bailed around 2pm.

Drove up to the buttermilks and it was amazing up there. EC and I went back to the hotel after that. Putzed around there for a while. He watched movies and I read a magazine. Left for dinner at 6 go to Amigo’s for mexican. And guess who’s fucking sitting in there. MORGAN! Ugh. Bishop is just not fucking big enough for the two of us. I’ve managed to avoid him for 1.5 years in the climbing community. Now in one weekend I can’t go anywhere without running into him. Ugh. I walked out of there and went to Las Palmas instead.

Got up the next morning and went bouldering at the happy’s. I wasn’t into it. The whole weekend I wasn’t into it. Seeing him there not talking to Davey, all this stuff just brought back to much and was bringing on to much to deal with all of that. It was like the last weekend that Morgan and I spent in Idyllwild. I was so bummed and out of it that even though we did so much climbing, I just wanted it to be over.

It’s been so hard to not text Davey. I haven’t really talked to him since like last tuesday? He texted me happy thanksgiving on thursday. I replied. Then on Monday he sent me a text that he got my box I mailed him last week… I replied but was short with him about it all. I haven’t heard from him since. It’s hard not talking to him every day. I’ve gotten so used to just txting him and sending him random shit all day long and what not. Ugh. I fucking hate this shit… Why the fuck am I still single!

This week I have been a major bitch at work. Just as an example one of my emails yesterday was “I understand the problem 100%. It’s YOU who does not”. This was after multiple emails back and forth from me to this other girl. I had explained to her in detail and mathematical formulas the problem asking her to tell me how SHE wanted it resolved. She sent me an email saying: “I don’t think you get it”. So that was my reply to her. Fucking bitch. I also sent this formula to someone else the other day:
((PO1Cost * PO1Qty) + (PO2Cost * PO2Qty) + (POnCost * POnQty)) / RepackOutputQTY.

She replied back with “What does POnCost and POnQty mean”. Did you fucking FAIL high school algebra!?!? Ugh.

Yesterday boss and I were in a meeting. He wants me to visit all 62 of our pack sheds in a 3.5 week period spread across 5 countries and 10 regions within those countries…. Ugh! I want to travel to these places, but I don’t want to do it ALL in such a short period!

Last night I went climbing at the gym with the gang. Did my first full 5.11a! I was so excited… Then went out to this improv thing with Justin Black and EC. Leigh and his gang showed up as well. It was pretty funny. Leigh was making all kinds of audience remarks which really added to it! LOL. A couple of the guys were super hot too! Yum.

I might be traveling to Mexico on Monday. So I’m thinking about heading to PHX this weekend…

Later.

Hmm. It’s been a busy busy couple of days….

So this past weekend we went up to Robbers Roost. Robert Jolly was supposed to join us, the guy that had cancelled on me the day of our date that I had tickets too… Surprise! He cancelled on me again. Fucker. THEN he deleted me from facebook… WTF!

I picked up Leigh and this guy Jerel. We drove up there around noon got there by 3 and set stuff up. It was already cold and windy when we got there…. It was gonna get colder and windier.

Everyone was late… Like 2 hours late so we went into town and bought some more wood then back out to wait for everyone. They showed up. Good times, climbed, ate dinner, drank. Had a great time. This guy Jerel was a mess. Drank way to much. Disappeared into no where, passed out in the middle of the desert, etc. And really gay.

Went to bed around midnight. Didn’t sleep worth shit because the wind was blowing 70mph+ and it was raining, etc. Eventually woke up around 6, went out to tear down and the snow line was maybe 100yards away! It was so beautiful. I wish I had had my real camera!

So the drive back was a mess. Leigh fucking SMOKED in my truck after I asked him not too. Then we get to Mojave and he disappears. Come to find out he went to Subway to buy himself breakfast. Excuse me. You’ve got 3 other people who are also fucking hungry and you just run off, holding us all up to go get yourself food and not ask if anyone else wanted food/etc? So I yelled at him and apparently he was all pissed at me after that. Whatever fucking selfish.

Got home and unpacked (threw everything into my living room) and packed real quick for napa. Took a nap then went to the airport.

Had a great evening out with Leo and Tim, back to hotel. Drove to napa with Sylvia. Great times. Had an amazing trip. WEnt to Paloma which was so much fun. The lady was just so informative and cool. It was just Syl and I with a private tasting! I really wish that I had a bf there with me to cuddle and wine taste with.

Got home late yesterday. Called David. Chatted for an hour. Then he went to Jesse’s house at 10:30pm and didn’t get home till after midnight. WTF. Ugh there’s gotta be something more then just friends going on there that he’s not telling me about.

Syl, Leo and I discussed. I need to move on. I’ve said it before. But I really need too. I’m gonna try and not talk to him for a while.

I’m going to Austin to climb for my Birthday. He’ll probably be there….

I wish my dreams I have at night would at least be half true.

Lately I’ve been dreaming about David a lot. Ugh. Last night I had this dream that he was back here in LA. He was staying at my house for a while this time because he came to see the city instead of just a random climbing trip.

It was his last day. I was sitting at my desk in the morning drinking coffee and doing some work. He came out of the bed room. Came up behind me, asked me what I was doing and then gave me the biggest kiss ever on my neck.

In my dream, it was our first kiss ever. It was amazing..

Now if only that could even be half true IRL!

Davey and I have still been chatting a lot. Not as much as we had in the past. It’s sad.

My life has been pretty boring lately. I haven’t really been up to much other then the typical.

Dad was here two weekends ago. We worked on the Bronco. It was actually easier then I thought it’d be. We got the dash painted and all done up nice looking. Now I just can’t wait to get the fucking carpet replaced and some sound padding put in. Then the thing will finally be up to about where I was EXPECTING it to be when I got it back.

Speaking of which. Mother went and scheduled that side of the family for Christmas Day! Ugh. I am so not looking forward to that at all. I hope that certain person and his bitchy ass wife don’t show up.

Last week was pretty boring after that. Dad was here for a few more days. Dinner with Sirin, improv show, etc. It was fun but also AWK like when he brought up with leigh AND sirin that he quit drinking on my 16th birthday. Random.

Friday headed up to Bishop with EC, Brian and Daniel. Good drive up. Brian was late so we got stuck in some bad traffic. Annoying. Got up there and we all decided on a hotel. Probably a good idea.

Climbing in the middle gorge Saturday which was of course amazing. Did some stuff on the Warm up wall and China wall again. Lots of fun. Weather was perfect!

Left there and went to the hot springs, which were actually just warm. So we didn’t spend much time there and went to dinner at Whiskey Creek. Food was ok, company was great. Mikey joined us there, as did NIck and a bunch of straight boys. I didn’t really like the straight boys. There was this one asian guy that was really annoying. He was more whiney then most gays I go out on dates with!

Sunday we got up and went bouldering at the Buttermilks. I took them all to most of my favorite places. Hero, Iron Man, Buttermilk Stem, Cave Problem, etc. I actually completed Stem which was a first for me and was able to re-complete Hero which is an improvement since last time I couldn’t.

Surprisingly my shoulder didn’t hurt near as bad as I thought it would so that’s good!

So drove home after that we made it back in really good time. The bronco drove very nicely and was doing a good 80+ almost all the way back!

Yesterday at work was a total downer day. I felt like shit all day long. It was horrible. I went home and was just going to spend the night being lonely at home. But this guy had been texting me all day. He’s the manager at the starbucks right next to me. We were going to go on a date last week. But I got REALLY annoyed with him just setting the date up. So I decided to just ignore him. Well he texted me asking for a second chance and blah blah blah he was really stressed out and what not. So I decided to give it to him. I should have stuck with my guns and said NO!

He was fucking ANNOYING in person too. Whiney little gay bitch. And the thing that SUCKS is that he’s fucking being transfered to the starbucks that I go to all the time! UGH!

We watched A very long engagement. It was an amazing movie.

Anyways. I couldn’t wait for that movie to get over to kick his ass out! Ugh. I blocked him on Grindr while he was still at my house! LOL.

So yeah. That’s been that. I’m out.