Author: Cj B

I’ve been meaning to write an update but just haven’t really had time. I’ve been running all over the place.

So first, I know you’re all dying to hear about Gym Husband. Well, we FINALLY met in person. On Monday night at the gym. He told me. “I’m moving to hawaii”.. Literally the next day. Also, come to find out him and ARMY matched on Tinder. WTF. 🙁 He didn’t even match with me. I’m over him. He hasn’t texted me since.

Tuesday night I had a date with this guy Jimmy, he’s a med student in Santa Rosa, he was kinda cute but not really my type. We had fun. I drove up there Tuesday after work, we hung out with Astra and his dog. Spent the night and just cuddled and thenWed Morning we got up, had breakfast and then I drove him.

Wednesday afternoon I had a third date with Humberto. He came over and we watched a bit of a movie and then went to the fireworks. That evening was the first night we really touched, like I was holding his leg and he has his arm around mine while sitting there watching the fireworks. He went home that night and still no goodnight kiss.

Thursday and Friday were pretty boring.

Saturday I had a date with this guy VJ, horrible date. He called me a bitch within like 10 minutes of meeting. Went climbing with Hein after that and we had fun. Super cute asian guys at the gym. I managed to still crush a V2 which was amazing! I was sure I’d only be able to do a V0. Went home after that, got high and jerked off.

Saturday was another date with Humberto. We spent ALL DAY shopping. Had lunch then Ikea and some other stores, had a lot of fun. At one point I made a really dumb joke and he laughed so hard he cried. Sadly everyone I’ve shown his pictures too has said he’s ugly! I think he’s super adorable. I wouldn’t’ say he’s hot or anything, but I think he’s cute. Plus we have fun together, laught, we’re both super nerdy. Etc.

At dinner we had a long discussion about relationships, HIV, and some other stuff. I found out he hadn’t really dated or had sex until he moved here to America.

This week is going to be nuts. I have a concert tonight, three dates.

I’m sort of over this whole dating thing. I honestly have a problem right now where there’s just TOO MANY GUYS. But I feel like none of them are right for me. We will see.

Ok, so I have some exciting Gym Husband news!! Continue reading for more….

So I haven’t updated since Army left. We have been chatting but nothing much really. So nothing to update there.

Since then I have been busy trying to keep myself busy and mind occupied. Last week I had 4 dates. Thursday I met with this guy Justin who’s a PHD student in AZ. He was a nice guy, super into outdoors and hiking but since he’s in fucking AZ I doubt anything will ever happen.

Friday my date cancelled so I ended up going on a date with this guy Humberto. We went to dinner and then a movie. He was very funny, mexican, cute but has bad acne scars. We have date #2 tomorrow night but I have NO IDEA what we are going to do!

Saturday I had an all day roadtrip/date with Rich (date #3). He’s a nice guy. Apparently he’s HIV+ as well, just found out a year ago and has been dealing with it really badly. We hung out, chatted, came home, made out and watched a movie then I took him home. I spent the last couple days thinking about it but he’s just not the right guy for me. He just got WAY too jealous after our FIRST date. I cannot deal. Also while making out he just laid there like a dead fish.

Sunday was PRIDE and I met up with Ivan (FINALLY). He’s a cute and nice guy as well, I thought we had a lot of fun but then he’s been like MIA all week. I finally texted him again today and said “Hello” and he just said he’s been “been in a funky mood”. I asked him what’s wrong and no reply as of this writing. It’ll be up to him if we hang out again. I would enjoy it but we will see.

This week I have been back to my normal routine. Tonight I am having a date with Reyner who’s another HIV+ asian guy. Why are so many asian guys HIV+? He seems nice but I think he drinks WAY too much for my tastes.

Ok, So gym husband news!!!! Aren’t we all excited. As you know, I saw him on Tinder on Monday. I super liked him. Monday I went to the gym SUPER early specifically to avoid him. Tuesday I went to the gym and he wasn’t there but when I left he was SITTING IN HIS TRUCK. I pulled out and he pulled out at the same time and then he sort of followed me down the road for a bit. He turned at a corner and then seconds later I get a text message “Hi”. I reply “Hello?” He said “I got a message on my truck”. It went from there. His STORY is that he went to the gym Tuesday and forgot his headphones, was scrolling through his phone and saw the saved message “unknown-note on truck”. My theory is that he saw my LIKE on Tinder, recognized me from Gym, went there, watched, confirmed it was me and then decided to finally text!

Anyway, now that he’s FINALLY Texted me after months I just don’t know what to say to him! We’ve talked about work, gym, but I don’t know what else to say. I ask him questions, he answers but then doesn’t ask me anything. LIke if you don’t ask me things, how can you continue the convo!

Last night I went to the gym trying to purposely see him but also avoid him at the same time. I wanted to schedule it so that we had just a little bit of overlap. I texted him before I went and said “Maybe I’ll see you at the gym tonight”. He replied “Yeah if I see you I’ll def come up and introduce myself”. Well I was doing weights and out of the corner of my eye. I saw him in his normal uJam class. I finished working out at 7:45 and his class doesn’t get out until 8 usually. I got on the treadmill to try and kill time, but for some reason the class must have been running late. I text him after and he says “Oh yeah, I did cardio and then jumped in the class but I didn’t see you”.

Ugh, If he was interested in meeting me, wouldn’t you have searched me out when you arrived! Or at least looked around to see if I was there! The gym isn’t that fucking big.

So now it makes me feel weird about trying to talk to him more/text him. Ugh.

I asked him what he’s doing this weekend and it was very non-responsive. Just the basic “not sure” type answer thing.

Ugh. I dunno what to do now!!! It’s like meeting your hero, you have this idea of what they are like and then when you meet them it’s a huge let down. I knew this was going to happen.

OMG! I found gym husband on TINDER!!!!!!!!!! And on Instagram!! https://www.instagram.com/p/BOOGkNXgoFv/
https://www.instagram.com/josephalejandro/

So, last night at dinner Army told me he wasn’t coming back. Since he couldn’t find a job he just couldn’t justify the cost of being here for the summer. I totally get it. It’s the responsible thing to do, but I’m also heartbroken and sad. I had so much I wanted to do with him for the summer.

We spent our last night together going go-carting, having a nice dinner, watching a movie and cuddling. We drove to the airport in silence, him DJing one last time and playing a bunch of sad sappy love songs. I wish I could remember all the songs he played but we got into the car and I was in tears before we even got out of the drive way. I had to hold them back so hard though. At one point he started crying, then I would cry then he would cry again. But we didn’t say a word to each other. I think we both knew that if we talked about it, we’d both just ball our eyes out.

I dropped him at the airport, we hugged goodbye and said “see you soon”. Although I don’t know when I’ll see him again. We talked a lot about going to the fair together in Iowa. But I texted him today that I was going to be there Aug 16-20. He will be out of town at Army training. So I won’t see him then.

Last night after I got home he texted me this:

Now that I’m all checked in.
I wanted to say it before I went in but I would prob ball my little asian eyes out.

Chris Black 😋 told you I remember your name ,

I just wanted to say thank you for everything. Food, water, shelter and everything you paid for. Words can’t express how much I appreciate everything you did for me and you go above and beyond. It was very sad to leave because I had so much fun hanging with you and all the adventures we had / cooking all those meals were fun too! Like I said before you’re a great guy. Smart, funny ish. Weird in your own ways and have accomplished many things that I am very jelly of. I hope today isn’t the last time we speak or see each other. Because I would be sad to never see you again or speak. Many you want it like that but I don’t want to. Yes I understand you wanna be with me but I see with someone better than me who can meet all your needs. Everyone is unique in their own ways and sometimes it hard to find similar traits. I guess what you see from me is a free spirited with goals and dreams in life. But everyone you talked to has the same American dream as me or even better. Life is short and time is limited. Go out there and do everything on your bucket-list. You don’t always have to experience it with someone because experiencing stuff on your own you can see it better without any interruption. Overall this sums up most of the stuff I wanted to say earlier. Please don’t block me outta of your life or let me go. Here’s one thing I can promise you. Friends come and go but I will stay loyal to those stick with me till the end. Also I want to show you my future of what I got brewing up. I hope to see you soon and don’t be sad because I know you have another awesome adventure ahead of you! ❤️❤️❤️

Ps. Excuse my grammar. Lol 🤪🤣

Love,
[redacted] Army

I’m heartbroken but I do hope we can be friends and he will stay loyal. That we can chat. I just don’t know the boundaries of how much or how far, etc.

Now I can move on in life…

If only I had met Wings a few months earlier or a few months later… Things would have been so different. I miss him. I miss Calvin.

I always fuck shit up.

Army told me today he probably won’t be coming back. I had a gut feeling but now that he said it, it makes me sad. I wish I had known the last two days. He made me breakfast again today.

But Wings and I could have been good together… Ugh.

JUST STOP Chris. Stop fucking shit up. Appreciate what you have.