Oct 23, 2001

Oct 23, [Savage Garden, "Hold Me"]

When one cares for another, they may buy flowers for that person. The flower

will wither and die yet stay in a fragile yet dead existence, just as the

feelings as the person who gave the flower long ago. After much time, that

person will find the dead flower again, only to touch it to see what was

there after all. The flower crumbles to dust, leaving no trace of it’s existence

or the existence of the flower-giver’s feelings for that person so long

ago.

Ryan

Sometimes I don’t know why I even try to explain myself to people, they

just get even more pissed off. I just want everything to be happy, I want

everything to be the way that it was. But it’ll never be like that again,

not with that attitude…..

Oct 22, 2001

Oct 22, [Michelle Branch, "Second Chance"]

It’s raining. I love the rain, under certian cercumstances, this isn’t

one of them. I got stuck in Carver and it was POURING down rain. I mean

pouing, so I had to walk back to my room in the rain, I’m all soaked now.

Grrr. I like the rain when I have a nice warm fire and someone to cuddle

with, that would be when I love rain. But most of the time, like Sundays

when there’s nothing to do, or during the week when I don’t have to be out,

I like it when it rains.

Sweet Action with grades and such. I just checked my Math 150 grade, I

thought I was doing really bad in that class, but I’m actually getting a

B-. Cool beans there.

Yay for patriotism again….

Oct 21, 2001

Oct 21, [BBMak, "Just Another Day"]

So my horoscope Friday said that everything would work out if I took the

first step. And it did. On my way home from school I heard an ad on the

radio of Saturn of Des Moines, so I was like, I’m sure everything there

will be out of my price range, but hey, it’s always cool to run down there

and check things out and see what they’ve got. So I went down there and

there was this sweet black 01 Saturn sittting there in the used car lot

that I loved. So I went over and checked it out, Power everything, Auto,

Moonroof, it was such a great car. But a bit out of my price range, $11,400.

But sitting next to it was a ’00 Saturn SL1 4 door, Power Windows, Poor

Door Locks, Keyless Entry, 5-speed, 30,000 Miles. Really nice car. So I

grabed the first salesman I found, expecting him to say it was in the mid

$10,000 range. They had just got it in the day before, so they didn’t have

a price on it yet, so he went inside and found out how much they wanted

for it, came out and told me it was in the mid $9,000. Which I could afford.

So I was like, "SWEET ACTION." So I test drove it, and it drove

really nice. I called up my dad and we talked about it and such, then I

went home. Got him, we went down there, filled out all the paper work, and

set up a time to pick it up on Saturday. I got it, I love this car. It drives

sooooooooo nice. I’m happy 🙂

Then after that I went out with Adam, that was good times. We went downtown

of course, and we talked and hung out with people. This weekend I relaly

didn’t get to see all that much of him, but the time that we spent together

was well spent quality time, so I’m happy about that. Angel said that we

needed to open up our lines of communication again, which we worked on some

this weekend, even though Adam might no realize it yet. But we did, I’ve

still got alot to talk to him about, and he’s got alot to learn, but we’re

working on things, and all’s good. WE’ve got a great friendship that I see

lasting for the rest of my life. He’ll hopefuly be my soulmate for my life,

and I’ll be his. It’s so great.

Saturday I spent the monring cleaning out my old car and getting it ready

to sell to my dad, that took a hell of a long time, but I must say it looks

damn nice now. I’m happy with it. Then about 2 or so Adam showed up at my

house and we hung out there and talked for a while tell he had to leave

for work and I have to leave to pick up my car. Then after work he and I

went downtown for about an hour and then we came home and just had a good

night at his house. I love spending time at his house with him and all,

but sometimes it really annoys me when he just spends the time on his computer.

I mean usually it doesn’t bother me. But sometimes I just get bored with

it, it’s not fun for me to sit there and watch him play on his computer,

there’s really nothing there for me to do. I don’t have an interactive role

in it, you know what I mean. So usually I just get up and go sit on the

couch or something, which is cool. But still. Oh well. Overall the night

there was great, we watched TV and talked and just hung out. I left there

about 3 or so and I guess his PU’s got home like 20 minutes after I left,

lol.

Today’s been a cool day as well. I got up early, well not really that early,

it was like 10 or something, but still early for not getting home tell about

3:30 and not going to be tell about 5 or so. But yeah, Adam called like

11 or so, so I went over there about 12 and we hung out tell he had to go

to work. It was good times. He really needs to get a new job, so we went

out and he filled out Job Apps. Then I went home and did my HW and such,

the paper on Bartleby that I had to write has to be the dumbest thing I’ve

ever written. Oh well. I don’t really care right now. Then about 7 I went

over to Hy-Vee and hung out with Adam on his break we talked and that to

was good times. He’s now got next Friday and Saturday off, so we’re hoping

to go down to Lenox and hang out with David on Friday and then I have to

help my G&G on Saturday. Fun times. I hope he actually askes his PU’s

to go. That’s another thing that annoyed me this weekend, Friday he wanted

to stay the night at my house, well he asked if he could, but then when

we got back to his house, he said he was too tired, yet he was awak enough

to stay up 2 more hours and watch tv at his house. And then Saturday I asked

if he wanted to stay, and he came up with some lame excuse as well, but

I mean I don’t really care. If he doesn’t want to that’s fine. Oh well whatever.

So now here I am sitting here in my dorm, wanting to not be here of course.

But that’s the way life goes. I still have to write the outline to my Bartleby

story. Thank god this assingment’s over. I wonder what the next one’s over…..

Oct 19, 2001

Oct 19, [No Doubt, "I’m Just A Girl"]

Yeah, that’s right "I’ve had it up to here." And I have too damnit.

The guy on Car #2 didn’t call back last night, so I’m going to call him

at work here soon. Whatever.

Soc went cool. It was a shortist class, we got out like 10 minutes early.

We took a quiz and I only missed 4, so I got 80% on it, YAY!

I have a headache, and I have a paper to write that I really don’t want

to write. I was talking with one of my class mates today and we were like,

all she does is repeat herself, and then she rips our papers apart if we

do that. Gwar at her. GWAR at the world right now.

Oct 18, 2001

Oct 18, [Tonic, "If You Could Only See"]

Gwar, purchasing a car is much harder then you would think. And I’m really

pissed off at my dad right now. It’s kind of a misdirected anger, but still

I have a right to have some anger towards him. . . So I’m looking at the

two cars. I call him and say to him that I’m _going_ to get Car #2. I like

it far better then Car #1. Well he goes into this whole speal about how

Car #1 has fewer miles and it’s worth the extra $300. Well we spend about

20 minutes on the phone arguing about it and I finally just give up on it

and I say alright I’ll get Car #1. It’s worth it for the miles. He pressured

me into a car that I really don’t want. I mean it is a nice car, but still

the benifits of Car #2 outwiegh the benifit of Car #1. So I call up the

guy of Car #1 and tell him that I’ll take it. Then I call the guy from Car

#2 and tell him that I don’t want the car. Well I was up all night thinking

about it, that’s how much it bothered me. I couldn’t sleep at all. So I

thought, and thought, and thought. Today I came up with the conclusion that

I do indeed want Car #2. So I call the guy up and ask if he’d take the offer

I made earlier (which he had earlier said that he would). Well he goes and

tells me that this other guy, who’s also been looking at the car, called

this morning and said that he wanted it. I was like, FUCKING A. But yeah,

so he was like, well the guys coming to look at it this afternoon. So I’m

like, ok. Call me with what ever happens. It’s now almost 8 and he still

hasn’t called. I’ve called the other guy, the guy with Car #1 and told him

that I was having second thoughts and I’d call him later on wether I’d actually

buy it or not. But still. I’m mad at my dad for pressuring me like that,

he knew that I liked Car #2 better, and he pushed and pushed. The only thing

that I like about Car #1 is that it’s got less miles. I don’t want a car

that I’m not going to be happy with. And now, if I don’t buy a car this

weekend. I’m not going to have a car at all. Cause my dad’s selling the

van Monday and he’s buying my car. GWAR to that all. The whole mess is a

mess. I want him to call. I want Car #2. Why did I even talk to him about

what I wanted to do, it’s my car. I can make the decision myself. I’m paying

for it. Damnit. This really pisses me off. Whatever….. I guess I can look

on the bright side and say that no matter which car I get they’re both good

cars. It’s just that I’m going to regret it if I don’t get Car #2.

On another note, my room mate is a dumb ass. I came in and he was watching

TV, I sat down at my computer and started working, no music going or anything,

just sitting here working away at my stuff. Well he goes and puts on his

headphones, which I have no problem with. But then at 7 I wanted to watch

a TV show, so I turn on my TV, and start watching the show. Well about 15

minutes into it, he takes off his headphones, and he’s watching some damn

Anime thing with those annoying fucking voices, and he turns up his volume.

I’m like you ass. So I turn up my volume. He turns his up. I’m like fine

fuck this shit you ass hole, so I put on my headphones and he turns his

volume down, what the hell is up with that shit. Damnit. Fucking A. Fucking

A. Fucking A. Life really sucks right now. I just want to scream at everyone.

FUCKING A!!!!!!!!!!!!