Author: Cj B

I’ve been thinking about my relationship with Adam alot lately. I know that I love him, and I know that he really loves me. But there’s just some things missing in our relationship that I would want to have. Some little things that are normally there in every relationship, but now really there as much in ours. Mostly because he’s not out to everyone, and there’s just some people that he can’t tell that we’re together. The things that we’re missing though are those small little things of public affection, when we’re out together, we’re not out a a couple, but we go out as Chris and Adam. I wish that he would be more affectionate towards me when we go out. I wish that we could have those romantic times. It might just be me, but sometimes I think that we had more romantic times when we were just friends, the times on top of the car garages in Des Moines, just sitting there talking and looking out over the city, the times we’d be in the mall and just wrap our arms around each other, there’s so much that we did then, that we don’t do now.

Why is that? It’s not because I don’t want it. I do I really do want it. I love being able to hold his hands when we’re out. I love being able to sit on his lap. We do it at the GLRC, so it’s not because he doesn’t want to do it. Is he affraid, or what is it? I really don’t know. I just wish that this aspect of our relationship will expand and we will become closer then we already are.

I really do love him. And I know he loves me

Well, I learned my lesson. Rsync really is a dangerous program to use. They said it was, but I didn’t beleive them. Last night I was playing with it and added some options which I thought would only delete files on the receiveing side that weren’t on the sending side. Well it did delete files that were on the receiving side that weren’t on the sending side, infact it deleted a few to many files. By the time I realized what it was doing, it was to late, it had already deleted alot of my commands and such, so I had to reinstall my entire system last night. That wasn’t fun. Luckly it was on my backup system and not on my real system that this occured on, so nothing was lost. Good times.

You know, I forgot how many hot guys there were on campus. There’s alot of them. hehe. But yeah, I’m in Stat 104 this morning and they’re all a bungh of farming hicks. I guess I choose a class that’s for Ag students. Dunno how I got into it, usually the system doesn’t let you do that. But it fits nicely in my schedule, so I’m not going to complain.

I saw Julian today, it was one of those “HI, How are you?” and run things. I was on my way to work and I thought that he was on his way to class, so I didn’t stop and talk, but it’s ok cause I was late for work by 10 minutes anyhow. Maybe I’ll see him again sometime and talk, eh. The guy, Josh, that Julian talks about on his site, I think I know him, the name sounds familar as if I’ve met him at sometime. But yeah, that’s my story.

La la la. I can’t believe it’s only Tuesday. I want this week to be over with now. Gwar.

Well the first day of classes is over with, so that’s good. I went to all my classes and most of them seem as though I should be able to get through them with no major complications. My ComS class should be really easy. I went and talked to the prof and he said that I could test out, but he suggested that even though I know everything already, I might think about staying in the class so I can bring my GPA up. And I really need to do that. I currently have a 2.64 and I have to have at least a 2.75 by the end of this semester to get into my Major. So I’m thinking I’m going to stay in the class. But I dunno. I’m working on the program that he gave me to try out.

Other then that class everthing’s good. I have to go buy another book though. Gwar.

I really miss Adam today. But I guess things are going good otherwise. I got it all out last night. lol. Things are already starting to settle back into the a rythme and it’s good. I can’t wait to see him on Friday though. And it’s a long weekend which makes things even better. YAY! Just imagine, if everything stays on schedule for me, two years from now, I’ll be starting my final semester here at IAState. And in 2 and a half years, Adam and I will be living together somewhere….

Life’s good.

Well, here I am back at school yet again. And I’m not liking it. I left Adam just over an hour ago now, I started crying on his bed, I didn’t want to leave. I didn’t want to come back here. I want to be able to see him every day. I want to be able to say hi, and ask him how his day was. I want to spend that time with him, just laying on the couch with him in my arms, watching TV, or that time just laying in his bed looking into his eyes. I want that time, and being here I won’t be able to have that time. I miss him so much already. I promissed him that I wouldn’t cry on my way back up here. I didn’t. But I’m crying now. I want to be with him. I want to be able to lay in bed at night, with him by my side, I want to not have to say goddbye every week. I hate this. I really do. I love you Adam.