Dreams and Rain

Well here it is, Sunday and I’m back at the dorms. This weekend was really really good. Friday night Adam and were supposed to hang out with Mary, but we couldn’t get ahold of her, so we went back to my house, it was like 7:30 or something and we ate Ramen noodles and I make Orange smoothiesque type things, and then we went hot tubbing, you can use your imagination for what went on the rest of the night.

Saturday was good as well, Adam got off at three, so after that we went and visited his Mom at work. It was raining all day Saturday and it was supposed to snow like a bitch, but that didn’t happen. After we visited Adam’s mom at work, I decided that I wanted to try and find a cheap old computer so that I can use it as a webserver. So we went on a qwest for that. Of course, we ended up at the mall. We left there about 6, and it was pouring down rain and I was like, I don’t want to be out in this. So we headed for the interstate and headed for Adam’s house. That was mucho grande bad. The semi’s and such were sliding all over the road, and the wind was strong, and we couldn’t see jack squat, so I got off at the MH exit and we took the back roads home from there, they were much better. Once we got back to Adam’s house, we hung out there for a while. We were supposed to go out with Julian, Mandy, Vero and gang, but with what we had been through earlier, I just really didn’t want to be out in that. I was sad though cause it would have been fun to go hang out with the group and all. They said that they might stop by, but they never did. That was sad. But none-the-less, Adam and I had a good time at his house, no one was home, so we just hung out and cuddled and such, it was nice.

While we were at the mall, Adam and I had a bit of a tiff, it wasn’t anything big and we’ve resolved it, but looking back on it it’s pretty funny cause we were in the Gap, I can just imagine what people must have been thinking, probably the same thing we werte thinking later when we saw a str8 couple arguing on the path, “Ohh, look the str8 couples arguing.” I just bet people were walking by us in the Gap and thinking “Ohhh, look at the gay couple arguing” It’s amusing now, but it wasn’t then.

Speaking of arguments, Adam had a dream last night about us arguing and me getting really mad at him, and pretty much ignoring him. If you want a better explination of the dream, go read it on his website. (http://oscareds.deep-ice.com) But what I want to say is that he called me this morning and we talked for like an hour or so on the phone. It was really odd, cause we never just talk on the phone, but it was still really nice to just talk to him about random things. Then tonight we talked about it more, and he said that the dream made him realize how I felt earlier this summer, and he said that he felt bad. I told him that everythings alright, because everything is alright, we are happy together, and our relationship just keeps growing.

Today’s been good as well, it’s entailed much randomness and driving and such. It was good, but nothing of really any importance, other then that’s already been mentioned. My keyboard appears to be collecting a layer of hair products from when I de-crunchify my hair at night and it’s starting to make it sticky. I shall go clean my keyboard now. I’m out.

Moving?

Well not much has really happened here in the last couple days. I still don’t have a working website, I’m going to e-mail them again here today. I guess Adam and family are looking at a new house. That’s goood news, it’ll be really cool if Adam gets the room that he wants. And I’ll be jeleous as hell cause I wanted the same things and never got it, of course they wait until after I move out to finish the basement. Bastard parents. Oh well. It’ll be cool for him.

I’m also thinking about moving a few things, not me though, I was thinking about dumping the webservers that I have and hosting my own. Then I could host some other people as well. So that would be cool. I’m also thinking about moving over to Suse 7.3 Pro from Suse 7.3 Personal. Not much difference, but I’ve found that there’s some annoyances when compiling things. I’m also looking at moving over to Moveable Type, Julian introduced me to it, and I’ve been looking at it some. I haven’t really had time to play with it a great deal, but I did get it installed on my computer, and that was a project in itself. lol.

The problem though with my own webserver, would be where the hell to host it. I could host it in the dorms during the year, and then possibly at Krell during the summer, but then every May and August, I’d have that 3 day down time, which would be annoying. But that’s not that bad. I’d also have to find another system to host it on, cause I wouldn’t want to use my personal system, or my backup system. So yeah, I figure I might be able to talk my mom into letting me have Andy’s computer, since he never fucking uses it, but I doubt she’d let me do that. So if anyone out there has an old computer, with at least a 500 Mhz+ Processor and 15 Gig + HD and would be willing to sell it cheap, e-mail me. Eh.

It’s looking as thogh Adam and I won’t get all that much time together this weekend. He’s working Friday night, and 12-3 Saturday and then after work he’s going to his dad’s, then Sunday he works 12-6, so those are just odd hours and since he usually doesn’t get up tell late on Sat and Sunday, well that doesn’t leave all that much time. It’s sad really.

Ok, I must go and work with the evil M$ and encode some stuff. Laters

Good Horroscope

Do you catch yourself barking when you should be smiling? Or do you catch yourself leaving the room with your tail between your legs when you should be standing up for yourself or someone else? When dealing with certain sticky situations, your own actions may be a little hard to understand right now. It seems that something is going on beneath the surface that you may not yet be able to unravel. You need to get in touch with your true feelings regarding another person’s actions.

I know, do you?

I know what my problem is, it’s that I don’t understand how someone can love me. I know how I can love someone else. I’m in love. But I can’t comprehend in my mind how they can love me. I look at myself and see everything that’s wrong. I see all the flaws and I see how I think, I see the way I look every morning and I know how I live. I see all these things and think how horrible of a person I am, and I think to myself, how can they love someone like me? How can they look at me and say that they love me, spend every day with me and say that they like being around me. I lay in bed at night looking back on my day, thinking how boring it was, I think about how rutine it was. I say to myself everynight that I’m going to get out and do things, that I’m going to change my routine. I just don’t understand, and that’s what I need to change. I need to learn.

Adam Annoying me.

Sometimes Adam just annoys the hell out of me. He’s to fucking arrogant and he doesn’t see when he hurts other people, and he doesn’t know when to shut his mouth and he doesn’t understand when to stop, and when to take it that he’s lost the conversation. Like with the zit things the other day. I said that I didn’t see why people needed to go to the dermotoligist to get that shit. I just don’t see a need for it unless you have acne that’s “health threatening” and I don’t see as how his acne is that bad, 90% of the time, you can’t even notice it and it’s just as bad as mine is. And he turned that into an all out argument about nothing. It was just annoying as hell. Because he doesn’t take other people’s opinions. And he just can’t accept that. Grrr.

I don’t want you annoyed with me. Adam, I do everything possible to avoid confrontaions with you because I don’t want them to fuck up our relationship. I lost you once and ever since we got back together I’ve been walking lightly on things, I know it probably doesn’t seem as that, but I have been and it’s little things like this that annoy me sometimes. You give to much information and always just asume that everyone else doesn’t know jack. You need to not be so arrogant in thinking that you know everything. Sometimes you should take the extra time to just find out what other people know before you start in with telling everyone everything.