We moved into the apartment and things have been going really well. For the most part. We get along, we do things, we are a normal gay couple in an apartment together. The place is cute and I like the location. Although I am not liking how hot it is.
But lately, I have just not been feeling loved or cared for at all. We went to Iowa together, I had planned a great weekend with my family and I wanted to show him around some of the really important things to me. One thing specifically was that I wanted to walk him through my old college campus. We drive up there and we go to the gardens first, walk around a bit have a nice time. Then we go to campus and walk around and I’m telling him stories about going to school there, stuff I did, etc. Not ONCE did he ask any follow up questions about anything while we were there. I actually only showed him about 1/4 of what I wanted too before I was just like “Fuck it, let’s go home” cause he clearly didn’t care one iota of anything about what I was telling him.
We also went to a few other places over the weekend that I was hoping he would be interested din, but again, not one hint that he cared at all. When the weekend was over, I asked him what the best part of the trip was and he said “sitting by the pool at your parents house”.
Anyway, there’s other little stuff that happens all the time that just make me feel like he doesn’t give a shit. We went out to dinner the other day and literally sat in silence the whole time because he never asks follow up questions, never provokes discussions, never asks me about my life and my days.
Yesterday, I asked him to take astra for a walk while I was finishing up a meeting. He was struggling to put on her harness and I offered to show him how to put it on the way I do it. He just immediately got pissed and stormed off. Then Last night we went to a concert, the killers, it was amazing. We get home from it around midnight and get in bed. I had told him earlier that I had a super long day at work today. So I’m laying there and I say “goodnight” and roll over to go to sleep. He turns on the light next to his side of the bedd and starts replying the concert over and over again via his phone so that he can post on social media, I roll over, give him a “look” and then say “can you do that tomorrow?” he again just immediately blows up at me. Says that I’m being rude. WTF. Your boyfriend is in bed, trying to sleep, you know he ha a long ass day tomorrow and you’re the one sitting there playing a concert with the fucking light on.
There’s just a million other little things like that. Like every morning when he has to work early, I get out of bed and make him coffee while he’s getting ready for bed. Lately, I’ve been having to go to work early and not ONCE has he managed to get his ass out of bed to make me coffee for work and another example is today, after our argument last night, the first thing I would have done would have been to get up, make him coffee and try to get our day started off right. But nope. I got out of bed at 6:45, showered, walked astra and came back and he was still fucking sleeping. Couldn’t manage to move his fucking ass to get me anything or make my day better.
Here it is 9am and he still has yet to even message me anything to say “have a good day” or anything.
I’m just over it at this point. I want a boyfriend who wants to try and make me happy and care about me and my lfe. I just don’t get that from him. I just don’t feel like he CARES about me at all.
More examples… Sunday he worked a double shift, he came home between shifts to have dinner. I was ALMOST DONE cooking dinner for him when he got home and he complained and said he feel like eating what I was making. So I fucking PUT IT ASIDE and made him something completely different. No thanks or anything like that. And then Monday night, I really wanted for us to have sex. But he just acts like it’s such a burden every time.
I dunno what to do, honestly. I don’t want to be in this apartment alone but I also don’t know if this will work for the next year. Unless he majorly changes and starts really showing some fucking caring and love.