Things have been going really well. We have been getting along, getting into a groove. Charlie’s Birthday was last week and we all went out to this big party with his family (and Eric) then went out to Castro. I took him on a flight over the SF bay the day after which was super fun and beautiful.
We haven’t been doing too much, mostly just Gym, eat, go out once a week to a bar or something.
Last week Charlie told me that Eric wanted to go see The Batman movie this week, he asked if I wanted to go with them. I said yes. Well yesterday I asked him if it was still going on. One of my friends asked if I wanted to have dinner/drinks with them to talk about something personal and I asked Charlie the movie was still going on.
I figured I would give him and Eric the chance to go see the movie together and my friend and I would go out to dinner. Charlie said ‘Yeah, we’re going to see it Wednesday’. I asked him when that was planned and he said last week. WTF?! So last week he knew that it was Wednesday but never told me? So was I ACTUALLY invited to this movie or was he just going to drop it on me and be like “oh BTW Eric and I are going to the movie tomorrow”.
So I told him about my friend wanting to get drinks and asked if they could do it Thursday or Friday. He said Eric didn’t want to do it either of those days. So then I was like “ok, well we can still just do Wednesday”… But then somehow I got totally left out of the plans and now I’m not going tonight to the movie?
This started a whole huge fight. Like the biggest fight we’ve had in our relationship. I can’t even really remember everything that went down but we drove back from SF in silence. Got to his house and he refused to talk about it. So I just left and started driving home. He called me and was like “come back”. So I did and we talked a bit about it. Honestly, I”m still pretty pissed about this whole situation.
Like, he claims that _I_ have to be the bigger man and ask Eric out to do things, he says that _I_ need to be the one to make things better with Eric. BULLSHIT. HE is the one who’s the middle man here, he’s the one who needs to step up and first tell Eric to get his shit together and secondly he needs to respect his boyfriend and be up front with Eric about what is happening.
Come to find out that last week when he “invited” me to the movie, he never TOLD Eric he invited me.
Ultimately the problem here IMHO is that he doesn’t want to upset either of us (me and eric) but he ends up pissing us off even more. Like if he wanted to just go see the movie with just Eric. He could have said that last week, could have told me they were going on Wednesday and yes, I would have been a bit annoyed but it would have been fine. Instead he fake invites me, doesn’t tell me the details of what’s going on and then it turns into a huge fight.
Another thing that super annoys me about this is now he’s going to go out and see a movie that I REALLY wanted to see, while I’ll be sitting home alone tonight instead. Super annoying. AGAIN, had he just told me last week that they were going on Wed, I could have easily found another friend go to with. Instead, I assumed I had been INVITED to this movie and that I was going to get to go see it with them.
Sorry this is a pretty incoherent post and I don’t think I’m expressing everything properly. Overall I just feel he’s still very self centered, he doesn’t understand that we’re in a relationship and he needs to consider my feelings/time with things. And to add to the complexity of this issue it’s not just that Eric is his “best friend” it’s that Eric his also his EX/Hookup/Still in love with him! His take is that I should just be “Totally fine” with him going to hang out with Eric and doing whatever he wants with him. But at the same time, I feel like if I were to do that with my friends, he would be pissed off. Because IE last night one of the arguments he used is that I just “spring” on him that I’m going out with my friends. Which I’ve barely seen any of my friends since he and I started dating and when I do go see my friends, I tell him AS SOON AS WE PLAN something. Which for my group of friends is always at least one week in advance. Honestly I get the feeling that he expects me to sit at home and do nothing while he goes out with Eric.
Again something else he said last night was that “it’s ok if you just sit at home while I’m out with Eric”. blah blah blah. Yeah, well _I_ don’t want to just sit at home waiting on your ass while you’re out having fun without me. I have friends that I want to see too and my friends can’t just drop everything at the flip of a hat because they have lives. It’s not like Eric where all he does is go to school.
I just don’t know. Honestly there are times when I’m just like “this is never going to work out” and then there are times where I’m like “this is so great”. Again yesterday, his class got cancelled so we had the whole day to do stuff. He honestly has a LOT OF SHIT that he needs to get done, studying, buying tickets to Philippines, planning Vegas trip, etc etc etc. Instead he choose to fucking take a nap and waste the day on TikTok. Sometimes I feel more like a mother to him then a boyfriend. I’ve done his laundry, washed the dishes, cleaned his room, make him dinner, remind him to get shit done, etc etc. What am I to him exactly?