Valentine’s Failure, friends in love.


Wow, so much has happened actually in the past few days. I don’t even know where to start really….

So after I wrote the last one, Jay messaged Charlie that they wanted to have dinner Sunday night. Well he couldn’t do that so they planned to meet on Tuesday. They specifically said, just the three of them. So they excluded me.

I was super annoyed, but whatever. Go have dinner with them. But hold up, let’s talk about Valentines day first.

So Monday I spent most of the day running around. I returned the suit, bought some basic dress shirts from Banana Republic, wanted to find some nice chocolates for Charlie but I couldn’t find anything. Got him a cute card and some flowers. He comes over after work and I greet him at the door with two glasses of champagne and he has this big fancy chocolate thing for me. It was super cute. We had sex and then left for dinner. Took Bart there which was nice because the we didn’t have to worry about drinking too much.

Dinner was so-so food wise but we chatted the whole time about random stuff. It was good to again have that chat/time to talk about things. It didn’t seem awk at all.

After dinner he decided he wanted to go to the Castro, so we took muni there and went to a few places. We both got super drunk. Walked back to BART and while we were sitting there waiting he’s scrolling through instagram. I notice he has a ton of unread messages so I start to poke him about what they are. Come to find out they are old hookups who are thirsting over him. They message him and he just ignores them. I mean good that he does but Jesus, like just tell them you have a BF. We got into a huge fight over that. We fought basically the whole way back home. We got to my place and he threatened to leave and just go home. I told him that if he left, that was the end of us. I honestly don’t even know why it was such a big deal. But it turned into a huge fight that night.

The next morning we woke up, had make up sex and then went to the gym. So this brings us back up to Tuesday. The day he has dinner with Jay and James.

He leaves my place and goes to meet them, sends me some nice pics while they are eating at this beautiful place. Then around 6;30 he messages me saying they are getting ready to leave… Then silence for 1.5 hours. This of course PISSES ME THE FUCK OFF. So now I’m pissed off that he’s just MIA.

I end up driving to his place and just as I get there he calls me that they are ready to leave finally. I was super grumpy with him but I could tell by the tone of his voice that he just wanted to see me and tell me what had happened.

He gets back to his place and we have a quick talk first about the silence thing. I tell him, “I don’t want to fight about this or make it a problem but this has got to stop. We’ve talked about it multiple times before and you just keep doing this. You have to respect your boyfriend.”. I went on to tell him that this is the same as the argument we got into on Monday, he’s not respecting me as his bf by letting these other guys thirst over him and by not putting a stop to it. He agreed and said “you’re right” and apologized. Said he would keep trying to do better.

We go into his place and start to talk about dinner. He says, “guess what it was about”. I guessed. “are they breaking up?” he said “no”…. I said, “James is in love with you”. He said “ding ding ding”.

So here we are again. Another “best friend” of his who’s IN LOVE with him apparently. WTF, how does this keep happening to him?

This is a SUPER weird situation. Jay and James have been together for 11 years. Jay is 44ish and James is I think 30? James has never been with anyone else. So Jay and James were BOTH there for the talk about James being in love with Charlie? Why are gays so fucked up. You are in a relationship, you know your friend has a boyfriend. Why the fuck are you even saying anything? What is the point? What are you expecting out of this. Are you expecting that Charlie is going to say “I love you too, let’s date?” and then right there you dump your boyfriend and Charlie dumps his and you two live happily ever after?

The other thing that happened is I guess Jay put a lot of doubts into Charlie’s head about our relationship. He pushed him on my finances and plans, where I want to live. How will our relationship work with such a disparity in where we are in life. So we spent a lot of time last night talking about that. I came 100% clean as to what my finical status was and he seemed shocked.

This is all really frustrating. Here we are two months into our relationship. And We’ve already dealt with one friend who’s IN LOVE with Charlie, now we have a second friend who’s in LOVE and a third friend who’s putting doubts into his head?

Charlie and I really need to talk more about everything, I never really talked to him about what HIS feelings are for James, what he wants out of this stuff. And if he’s comfortable/happy with what my plans are.


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