So, won’t be seeing Surest any more. We hung out Wed night and it was just too much. I told him that I can’t be around him. He seemed sad, I was very sad. We gave each other a strong hug and said goodnight. I’m very sad about it, but it’s the right thing to do.
I didn’t sleep well at all that night, I had a 1:1 with my boss at 8am Thursday. He opened the meeting saying “How’s life”. I started bawling.
Calvin is still with Will. Makes me feel like shit. I feel like EVERYONE I date, I am the last one they date. I look around at all my friends from 10 years ago and they are all celebrating 10 or 11 years of relationships. Some of them have husbands AND boyfriend. But yet, I can’t even get anyone to like me.
I cannot wait for the therapy to start. I really have to take it 110% this time.