How do we get ahead?

Man COVID is really starting to take a toll on me, TBH. I am so lonely and bored at home all the time. I just want to go back to the gym, I want to go on dates, I want to eat out like normal. I’m pretty OK with working from home but it too is starting to wear on me. More because I want to be able to GO somewhere else and WFH rather than be stuck in Vallejo all the time.

Derik came from TX this past week and we hung out. He stayed at my house and then we went camping in Mt Shasta. It was super amazing camping trip and I loved the place we were at. It was an old Firelook out with views of Shasta. We had a super fun time but I’m so confused about wtf he wants out of stuff. Like we cuddle and act like he’s into me but we don’t have sex or anything sexual at all. It’s just so weird. He left last night to go back to Austin and I’m kinda sad.

Derik kept pushing me to ask Calvin to just get back together. Even my grandma brought it up when I talked to her for her birthday. She said: “I think you and Calvin are meant to be together”. Yeah. I agree, but I dunno how to bring it back up to him. I just don’t want to say something to him and then have him reject me.

I thought about selling my house in LA. I contacted my tax accountant, I would have to pay $277,000 in TAXES alone on the sale of the fucking house. HOW ON EARTH do we as middle class people get ahead?? Like fuck the government. They just waste our fucking money on BS shit. Lining their own pockets or their buddies pockets with our money. We can never get ahead any more. Every market is dominated by these mega corporations who don’t give a shit about customer service. All our congress people are owned by major corporations, they are ruining our country.

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