Love Cycles…

I was reading a while back that there are now more single people then there are married couples. Which makes me really sad. The higher divorce rates, the broken families, the kids with only one parent. This is not the way we should be as a society. 30’s is the new 20’s, but it’s not really.

As we go through these love cycles. Dating/breakup/dating/breakup. I love you, I’m not in love with you. Our hearts get broken, they heal some, but we’re never fully back to the way we once were. Think back to your first love. How did you feel about them? Weren’t you totally infatuated with them, thought the world would never go on without them. Sure, most of that was probably just being young and stupid. But really, isn’t that maybe part of being in love?

When you’re young, you are more willing to change. You haven’t started your life alone yet. You don’t have your set ways of doing things, dishes go here, knives go in the rack this way, towels have to be folded like this, dinner is at such and such time. You are you, but you have not set these annoying traits that will probably stick with you for the rest of your life.

Our first love you’re open and vulnerable, you give that person everything, you trust them fully. You’re not afraid to tell them that you love them or that they mean so much to you. But when it’s all over. That person takes a little bit of your trust with them, a little bit of your heart. You eventually get over it and move on. Maybe in a few days, maybe in a few weeks, maybe it takes years. Your next love comes along and you open up to them. But how do you really feel about them?

You’re not as trusting as you once were, you’re not as infatuated, you’re not as emotionally open. You’re starting to get those traits built into you as you live your life. You’re not as willing to to compromise to make them happy. You’re only out to fulfill yourself and not fully about making each other happy.

As we move from relationship to relationship, fuck to fuck, love to love. Each of those takes a little bit of your heart, a little bit of your trust, a little bit of your lust. Until when? Until what? What are you left with?

As we age as we love as we loose; we become rigid, cold and hard. We’re unwilling to make those sacrifices that we once were. My life is all about me now. My way of doing things, my way of living, my way of loving.

Eventually we find someone. Someone we do care about and love, someone that will do for a while, but what’s left of us to give to that person? We’ve become bitter and emotionally lost from our previous bad experiences. We don’t share as much as we should between each other, we don’t trust one another 100%, we don’t make love, we fuck. That may last a year, 5 years, 10 years. But will it last forever.

Will our generation ever see the love that our grandparents have? Will we all be celebrating our 50 years together, or our 50 years apart?

Our love is never ending, but it’s also limited.

Today, we’re to willing to just throw away love. Our spark is dying, so I don’t love you any more. We have a few fights, so I don’t love you any more. I’m not as attracted to you as I once was, so I don’t love you any more. It’s to much work, so I don’t love you any more… So what is love?

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