My Life

Range of Emotions…

This weekend was just a huge mess of emotions. It all started out horribly early Friday morning when I woke up to an email. I put that aside and tried to work my best as I could and got through the day. Got home and just wanted to lay on my couch and cry and be sad. But Manny called, so I went up to Manhattan beach and we hung out for a few hours in the steam room/sauna, etc. Came home and saw Ben online and I had finally had enough of his not replying to people when trying to talk to him. So we then ended up in a HUGE fight that ended with him saying. “Just add me to your list of people you don’t talk to any more.” I called him after that and we yelled/talked for another 30 minutes on the phone and that ended with me saying, “Ok just call me when you are ready to talk” and him then saying. “Ok fine” and hung up. UGH! HUGE crushing blow. That happened at midnight and I had to be up at 6am to get ready for a hard ass ride. I didn’t sleep and laid in bed just wanting to call him back and tell him out I feel and how much it hurt me and blah blah blah. But I just don’t know what to do! :'(

Anyways, so Saturday morning I got up and went on one of the hardest rides I’ve ever been on.

10 MILES of climbing.. Up, up, UP! There was no end in site. And after the night I had, I wasn’t mentally ready for it at all. But the group was great, we all stuck together and once we got up the 10 miles of climbing one of the guys was feeling dizzy and stuff so we all rationed the water we had left and gave him food and waited till he felt good enough to move on.

We stopped at this GREAT biker bar out in the middle of no where for lunch. HUGE hamburgers for only $6.00. And I have to say they were some of the best burgers I’ve had in a damn long time! Though that could have just been because I was tired and really hungry and what not. For the last week I’ve been chatting with this guy Steve on myspace, he bikes (as in motorcycle) Mulholland a lot and I could have sworn I saw him there. If it was him, damn he’s HOT. haha. If not, then that biker boy is hot too! lol.

Got home from that about 6, made myself a pork chop. Replied to an email from Ben (just a continuation of the argument) and then went to bed and didn’t sleep worth shit.

Got up early Sunday morning and JC picked me up and we headed down to LB for pride. Had a great time there. Lots of randomness and drunken ness and what not. I was pretty drunk by 10:30 in the morning, we watched the parade and talked to cute boys, etc. At one point the apartment party we were at was playing porn and there was this nasty old man rubbing his cock through his pants and it was gross. But the party was tons of fun in general! They had GREAT food. Went to the festival and met up with Johnny who I hadn’t seen in a long while, so that was fun. Got home from that about 6 again and I watched the season finales on FOX and then went to bed. I again didn’t sleep worth shit.

This whole thing with Ben is really pissing me off. :'( And I’m sad that I didn’t get to go to Andrew’s graduation and all the events there and what not. UGH. Why is it that whenever I try and do nice things for people they always back fire on me. This whole situation with Ben only happened because I was trying to be a caring friend and when he was an ass about it all and didn’t care to reply to people, etc it pissed me off. I know I went about confronting it in the wrong way, but how to go back and fix it now is not going to be easy….

Anyways, there are lots of great pics from this weekend. Sadly other people have them all. So hopefully they will send them to me ASAP so I can share the decent ones. Haha.

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