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10:48:06 PM blackc2004: ben, it doesn’t seem to matter any more. IM, email, whatever. you don’t seem to want to reply.

10:49:03 PM shades20: look, I am going through something really difficult and I don’t know how to deal with it, yet all you ever seem to care about is how it affects you

10:49:13 PM blackc2004: no it is not.

10:49:26 PM blackc2004: I try to talk to you and you enver want to give up any information about what’s going on with you

10:49:45 PM blackc2004: Look at the emails i sent you the other day. I said that if you wanted to talk give me a call.

10:49:48 PM blackc2004: you never replied or anything

10:50:05 PM blackc2004: I’m sorry you’ve got shit going on. but it’s not an excuse to treat us like crap when we are trying to talk to you

10:50:20 PM shades20: who is us?

10:50:51 PM blackc2004: us is me right now. but i know jason is annoyed that you don’t reply to him either. however. i want to make it CLEAR i am not talking for him in any matter

10:53:19 PM shades20: I have been in this daze for two weeks because my mom really hurt me and I found out this week that my grandmom is saying the I can “write her off too” whatever that means and it hurts. I haven’t talked to anyone about because where do I begin. I told you that things were bad and gave you as much as I wanted to talk about, yet I’m being rude

10:54:50 PM blackc2004: Yeah you are being rude because people here are trying to be friendly to you and trying to help you out. But you want none of it. I’m sorry that shit is going bad for you at home. But this is not a way to treat the people who _are_ trying to be nice and who are trying to cheer you up.

10:54:54 PM shades20: Jason is only saying shit because all of his e-mails this week have been to upgrade his flights

10:57:26 PM blackc2004: Well whatever I’m not talking about jason right now. I’m talking about me and how I’m feeling about this situation, because your attitude towards me has really hurt me ever since last friday. And I don’t want to go another 2 weeks with you being out of town feeling like shit and like _I_ did something to you to make you not want to talk to me. I’ve already been told today by my best friend of 5 years that he wants nothing to do with me anymore because he can’t get over his love of me from when we dated 3 years ago… I’ve only been trying to be nice to you and trying to get you to talk to me about whatever or anything. I do think it’s rude of you to just not reply and to cut people out without any explanation. If you had just said. “Look, I need some time to deal with this so I’m not going to be very talkative” then fine. that would have been great. But I’m not liking just being left in the dark.

10:59:13 PM shades20: imagine that were your mom and grandmom saying that to you and would you have the presence of mind to reply to every e-mail you get?

11:00:09 PM blackc2004: Yes, if my friends were trying to email me and talk to me. I would have either replied and been as cheerful as possible or I would have talked to them as soon as it was happening and said. “Look, I need time……”

11:00:18 PM shades20: if you were that worried, why no call?

11:00:52 PM blackc2004: What made me feel like I could call.. If you wouldn’t reply to emails/ims?

11:01:55 PM shades20: well, you didn’t even try…

11:03:57 PM blackc2004: I’m sorry that I didn’t call, I accept that this is partially my fault then. But I just wanted to let you know that this was hurting me, and I didn’t want it to go on any longer.

11:04:58 PM blackc2004: If you need time, then say that now, and I will let you alone until you decide you’re ready to be active in our friendship again.

11:05:27 PM shades20: It is a full time job isn’t it?

11:05:32 PM blackc2004: what is?

11:07:54 PM shades20: I just can’t win with you. I was trying to have fun on Friday, but you knew things were bad at home, yet you still had this attitude becuase I was a little sad.

11:08:32 PM shades20: I asked you for some time when we were together and you assumed it was because I was running

11:09:25 PM shades20: you have this complex that assumes everyone is trying to get away from you

11:09:56 PM shades20: so if anyone else is busy or has a problem, you think it’s because of you

11:10:51 PM shades20: who can break that thought of yours? I can’t. I’m going through something VERY difficult yet I have to explain to a friend why I haven’t been able to put it in an E-MAIL

11:11:42 PM shades20: Diane hasn’t heard from me and she gave me a call to talk about it because it couldn’t be conveyed over a text message

11:12:46 PM shades20: What more can I do? You say tell you if I want time, I do, yet I still become horrible because I don’t put you first

11:15:01 PM blackc2004: First off. You hardly said a WORD to me the entire night Friday. How do I know what’s going on. If you’ve got problems then you need to EXPRESS them to people. You can’t just bottle them up and expect me to know what’s going on. Yes, I knew you weren’t talking to your mother. But how many times has that happened since we’ve known each other. How do I know the extent of what’s going on unless you talk to me? If things were really that bad on friday then that was a perfect time to talk about it, Yet you actually made jokes about it! When we were together, you said you needed time to go running, etc. THUS I assumed you wanted time to go runnning. NEver once did you mention needing time for anything else. And yes, I do feel like everyone is running away from me. Do you know how many people have come and gone from my life in the past year alone? Any idea? … IF YOU don’t tell me why you don’t want to talk to me, I have no idea. THUS I think its’ a fair assumption of me to think that it is me…. And if you really did want to talk about it, the phone works both ways. I already appologized for not calling, but if you hadn’t noticed. I do HATE the phone and I hate callign people. How often do you see me call anyone just to chat?

11:15:17 PM blackc2004: All you have to do right now is to say. “I need time” and I will leave you alone till you come to talk to me.

11:15:24 PM blackc2004: You’ve never once yet said anything like that.

11:15:35 PM blackc2004: You’ve just neglected to respond to anything

11:20:54 PM shades20: if you keep comparing other people to those that left you, everyone will leave. I don’t express feelings over IM or e-mail. I would rather talk to the person. I didn’t talk to you about on friday because you were acting like a baby. The first thing out of your mouth was a complaint, and I believe it was also the last thing. You complained about me not sending you an e-mail. You just can’t seem to comprehend that I work AWAY from a computer all day and do not have time to send an e-mail (although I have told you many times) You expect too much of people and I will never meet your standard of the perfect guy.

11:22:36 PM blackc2004: I was upset friday because I _TRIED_ to do something incredibly nice for you, and you didn’t seem to give a shit

11:22:47 PM shades20: I have been in a state of shock for the past two weeks because I can not understand why my mom is treating me like this and you have been looking for a fight. I don’t know what else to give you, and I can not have this added problem right now.

11:23:08 PM blackc2004: I am NOT looking for a fight. I’m trying to be your fucking friend and you want nothing of it

11:23:12 PM blackc2004: Fine. I will not add to it

11:23:21 PM blackc2004: good night and good bye untill you want to talk again.

11:23:32 PM shades20: everyone is always your enemy

11:23:46 PM shades20: everyone you run in to is always a bad person

11:24:09 PM shades20: you can now add me to that LONG list of your guys you talk about and avoid.

11:24:10 PM blackc2004: Ben, you clearly don’t know me at all if that’s how you feel

11:24:21 PM blackc2004: So what. you’re not ever going to talk to me again now?

11:24:23 PM blackc2004: thanks.

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