My Life

Why do I want it?

Why do I want it?

“You seemed pretty focused on finding the right one. How come you want it so badly”

I was asked that today….

Why do I want that so badly?

Because, I have love, lots of love to give to someone and I want to give it to them. I want someone to love me back. I want to know that when I’m having a bad day, there will always be someone there to say. “It’ll be alright” and to give me a hug. I want to know that in those special days, I’ll always have someone to share it with.

I like that on my birthdays, I don’t have to plan my own party. I want it because if I don’t feel like going out at night, it’s nice to know that there will always be someone there to cuddle up with. I want it for the nights when I do want to go out, so I don’t have to worry about making a fool of myself dancing. He’ll always love me, no matter how stupid I look.

I want it because I want to come home to someone to always say, “How was your day” and to have them ask me about mine.

I want it, because I don’t want to lay in an empty bed at night. Because I don’t want to have to worry about feeling alone.

I want it for nights like this… Where it’s pooring down rain, and I’d have someone to lay with and listen to the rain and talk for hours on end about nothing. I want it to have someone to lay on the roof of my house on those hot summer nights with and listen to the bugs and look at the stars and dream about what’s out there. I want it to have someone to play with in the snow and make snow angels at 2am and then come in and warm up next to a blazing fire and cuddle all night.

I want it, because I want to share my life with someone.

I want it for those small things in life.. The random cards at work, the flowers on your car, the surprises. I want it because my heart skips a beat everytime I see his name pop up on caller id.

I want it, to lay in bed at night and read with them by my side.

I want it, for those special days like Disneyland, the nights at Saylorville, the trip to New York, the many nights at Java Joe’s. I want it, so that I can have someone to plan those special trips with.

I want to love, and I want to be loved. That’s why I want it so badly.

“Can you be happy without a boyfriend”… I am happy without a boyfriend, but there is always another level of happyness, something that only that special someone can bring to you. Your friends can only be there so far. My heart will always be longing for that special someone.

Good night world.

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