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Go Dance, Not Makeout.

God damnit, I so hate boys and the fucking OC right now.

So last night was suppoesd to be lots of fun.. As it always is when I go out with Austin.

But lets not get ahead of ourselves.

Yesterday at work I realized that my Itunes Library file didn’t get backed up. Which meant that I lost all my itunes ratings, playlists, etc.. I have over 7,000 songs.. Everyone one of them had a rating, they all had last played and play counts from more then a year’s worth of work.

So I downloaded iPodRip and paid for it. It started out just fine, copied most of my music over. And then started importing it into Itunes.. It kept most of the songs Ratings, play count etc. However, after about song 5,000 it fucking up and died! And now my iPod is EMPTY! Which means that I can’t even try again! WTF?!

So I’m insanly pissed about that. :'( God damnit.

Thankfully I have all the music backed up on an external hard drive, and I have an iTunes Library file from Sept. So I’m just going to be missing everything I did between Sept and today.. God!

So after that this guy Steven Oda called me, he’s like an Umpire for baseball and has been trying to get me to hang out with him for months. It started out that he just wanted to fuck.. So I always said no. Then it was that he just wanted to hang out, but I assumed it was just a guise to hookup. So I kept saying no.. Well last night I finially said yes… I wish I had done that sooner! lol.

He was really hot.. But very gay acting. Which is funny. He was nice and cute and stuff, but I don’t really think we found much to talk about. We went and saw Walk The Line. It was at a fucking $1 theater! How crazy is that. And the place was PACKED!

After the movie I was really tired and just decided to go home and go to bed. Of course, Austin as always calls and says, “Hey do you want to go out.” and I said, “Sure”. damnit.

So I get down to his house and we sit there watching Dumb and Dumber and winding cables. It was nice. We finially left there about midnight and got to the bar and went in. We hung out talking to this guy Michael that Austin new, and we had seen at the grocery store a while back. He’s cute and nice, but not my type.

Anyways, so Austin trys to make me dance and I go dance with him for a little bit, then later I refuse so he goes up and starts talking to this random guy and they go out and go dancing. Which is no big deal…

But then, it was time to go, and I go over and tell Austin that unless he’s getting a ride from this random guy that we have to leave. And he says “Ok”, so I go back and talk to michael for like 20 more minutes and he still doesn’t come so them Michael goes over there and tells him that we have to go….

Then he starts fucking making out with this guy. Which of course pisses me off so much on so many different levels..

A) Because Austin has said he only makes out with people who he has a strong connection too

B) Because I obviously like Austin and am jealous

C) Because I HATE when people do that… When I GO to the bar with someone I expect them to hang out with me, sure talk to other people, but don’t wonder off and start making out with them.. I’ve LEFT people at the bar before for doing that, and I SHOULD have done that to Austin.

So then Michael finially gets Austin to leave and shit and the whole way back to the car all Austin can talk about is this guy and he calls him like twice and it was just SO FUCKING ANNOYING.

Of course, you all know where this is going.. Big fight on the way back… Austin kept saying that he had this amazing connection with this guy.. And when I said, “Well what’s that connection got?” he said, “It’s none of your business”… WHAT?!

Finially he admitted the only connection he had with this guy was that he liked to dance… Hello? That’s not a STRONG connection. So I’m like, “So you’d rather have someone who will just dance with you then someone you can have a real meaningful converstaion with you”

And then he goes into this thing about how I don’t like being silly and fun. Which of course pissed me off. Just because I don’t like to dance, doesn’t mean I don’t like to be silly and fun. Screw you motherfucker.

So we get back to his house and he refuses to get out of the car. So I practically have to force him out.

Then I drive off and get about a block and just break down from all this fucking shit. Sit there crying for like 20 minutes and then Austin fucking calls me and is like. “I want you to come back so we can talk about this and blah blah blah and I really care about you and don’t want you mad at me”.

So since I was right down the street still I just went back and we go up to his room and he just sits there playing video games, and I tell him that if that’s what he’s going to do then I’m going to leave. So he stops and we start talking and he’s telling me that I’m being mean to him and all this. Then he lays in bed and tried to force me into bed with him, but I refused and just stood there in the door way.

I don’t remeber what all we talked about, but it was basically nothing. He was too drunk to be comprehensive. But I remember asking him what his problem was with me and why he’s acting like this and if he wants to be my friend or not, and he said, “Yes I want to be your friend I really like you… but it’s a secret” or something like that.

So he passes out at like 3:30 and stops repsonding, but I was too tird to drive the fuck home. So I sat on his computer till 5 cause I couldn’t sleep. And then finially just laid down in the bed and slept till 10. I didn’t touch him all night, I had my back to him and he never made any attempt to touch me. I assume it’s because he was too passed out.

Whatever. I’m so over this shit. He has to fucking stop.

Just one more chance. I give people way too many chances.

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