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My Life

Death Of A Salesman

Have you ever thought about what you would do… If someone close to you. Say your wife/husband of 30 or 40. even 50 or more years was to die suddenly? A freak accident, car crash, sudden heart attack.

How would you react, after the funeral. After the inital pain is gone. What would you do?

Would you go to the grave, every day, week, month. Sit there and talk to him/her. Just as if they were still there, and you were still in your cozzy living room. Chatting with them about their days activities?

Or would you go about your life, mourn them, by crying at night alone in bed, or in your house. Would you go and travel the world, to take your mind off the fact that they were gone?

My MGMT 370 professor brought this up today in class. And it just kinda struck me was odd. What would you do. How do people get through that. I know how hard it is, having someone that I care about, and not being able to see them for weeks at a time. It’s hard, but at least I still get to talk to them. How would one cope with such an enourmous loss?

That person had been there every day of your life for the last who knows how many years. You come to expect them to be there at the end of the day. To have them there in your bed, and in every other aspect of your life. And suddenly they aren’t there anymore.

You become accustomed to a new norm, just as you did when you first married/started dating/got engaged to that person. A new norm. But how hard must it be to have to change and adapt as such a rapid rate.

And by rapid I mean. You’ve got to continue going to work, as there’s only so many days most companies allow you to take off for such things. You’ve got to continue paying your bills, and going on with other things. I could see why so many elderly couples die in such close proximity to each other.

Anyways, sorry for that morbid thinking, but I’ve just been thinking about it today.

Today’s been pretty good really. I haven’t done much but classes and the like. I’ve intaken a total of 800 calories today, which is really low considering I should be taking in about 2,400 according the the mathematical formula that I figured out a while ago.

I think my minimal calorie intake is starting to hinder my performance lately. I’ve been very tired in classes and been having a hard time staying awake. Though also a hard time getting to sleep at night. Perhaps a mix of depression and low calories.

I’m trying to increase the intake lately. This morning I had two breakfast bars instead of my normal one, and then I had another for lunch. Instead of skipping it entirely. For supper I had pasta, which accounted for about half of my intake for today. I’m going to go to sam’s club this weekend and get actual food. That’s what’s been limiting my intake is that I haven’t had any good food in the apartment for a couple weeks. Before that I was eating pretty good if I do say so. Though I am down to 166. I can’t remember if I mentioned that on here or not. So I’m excited about that. Only 6 more pounds to go before I reach my target.

If I intake 2,000 calories per day, as opposed to my 2,400 that I should be intaking. I should loose that 6 pounds in another 6 weeks. (IE, 1 pound a week). So hopefully that’ll be possible. Though with Thanksgiving right in the middle of that. I don’t know if that’ll work out or not. So I’m going to set myself the goal of having it off before Christmas break starts. I should be able to do that.

I’m going to add a thing on the side with my monthly savings account balance and also my monthly (perhaps weekly) weight. Though since my CVS server has been down for a while now. I don’t know when I’ll have a chance to do that.

I was reading my Poli Sci book today and finally figured out who said, “Politics is more complicated then physics”. It was Albert Einstein. You know where I found that answer…. In chapter 5.. That’s right 5. For the last test we were to have only read to chapter 3. So what was he doing putting chapter 5 material on there?? I was very annoyed. Though since I got it right. Why complain?

I didn’t quite realize tell this week how far we are in the semester already. It’s really going along quickly in the big scheme of things. My group for MGMT 414 met on Sunday night, and we talked a lot. Joked a lot and were off topic far more then we should have been. But I think that we got a lot going. Tonight they had a meeting which I was unable to attend. They apparetnly got all our questions answered because they caught the professor before tomorrow, so that was good. They also got an introduction written. So that’s even better.

Also got started on my MGMT 370 paper. Due Nov 11th. I have 3 pages done, it only has to be 5 pages. And I’m not even half way through it all. I’m going to have Andrew proof it for me, and perhap someone else. I dunno. I think I’ll have to drop the second book from it, even though I don’t want too. They were both such good books. Maybe I’ll just write two papers.

Tomorrow night I have a meeting with my MIS 435 group. We’re going to get started on that paper. I really just need someone to write me an intro for it. Then I can do the rest. It’s all up here… ::points to head:: It’ll be a quick and easy one to get out. So that’s exciting. Hopefully we won’t have to meet to many times. Though I do enjoy meeting with them. They are the funniest and it does include the hottest boy I have a group with.

But the Gay Army guy in my MGMT 414 group comes close… Ok, and he’s not gay.

Finances for next month are going to be tight and I have a feeling I’ll be dipping into saving some more. I dunno how I got by on $10 an hour. You’d think that with $12 an hour, I’d be saving tons more, AND also since Andrew’s gone and I’m not eating out, and doing other things that include money with him. I would have lots more to save. But it all seems to be dissapearing on food and other useless things like that. I need to cut more somewhere. I have to save. I’ve been going in after classes to work from 5:30-7 as well as my normal hours. So I think that’ll help some. I’m kinda worried about him coming back. It’ll cost me at least $100 that weekend. To drive there and back. I really want him to come. But I just don’t know if I’ll be able to afford it. I hope that my books get good resale value.

I also really need my mother to reimburse me for those books that I bought a long time ago. I called her last week and she said she’d put the money in my account that week. It’s still not there.

I really just need to come into a large sum of money somewhere. I hope that I get tons of money for graduation. And also tons for christmas and b-day. That’s all I really want from family. Money, money and more money. It’s sad though. Maybe I should try my luck at the slots.

Speaking of. I really dislike my Translog 360 prof. He’s very conservitave and yet does lots of things that I consider very un-ethical. Perhaps it’s just my supurb ethics…. Everyone else seems to laugh at him.

Well, I’m going to go call Andrew now before Gmore Girls start for him. I don’t want to interupt him and his girlfriends.

Laters all!!

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