My Life

Finally Thursday

Well, it’s FINALLY Thursday. After thinking that it was Thursday all week, it finally actually IS Thursday… And what a wastefull Thursday it is.

Andrew finally went and picked up his flowers yesterday and called me much later then I would have liked. But I’m very glad that he finally got them and that he likes them. He says that they are VERY pretty. I wish that I could actually get to see them now!

Last night we talked for like an hour and a half. Mostly about random things, but we also talked alot about the whole Homecoming fiasco, and lots of other fights that Adam and I had that Andrew was there for. It really got me thinking about that whole thing, and especially the whole night of homecoming. I should really have broken up with Adam many months before it actually happened. I was so unhappy in that relationship.

Today I went back and read all of September, Oct and Nov of my 2002 archives. And it really made me realize that I should really have broken up with him. I mean there were so many fights over such stupid things, and in the private entries from that time period you can really tell that I was very unhappy in the relationship. There’s a few in there where the private entries completly contridict the public ones. Just a sign of my trying to please Adam, since he had me whipped into constantly pleasing him. As the homecoming fiasco shows.

I wish that I could go back in time, and tell myself in September, when Mike suggested too, that I actually did talk to Andrew about things. Because in the end that’s what I really needed was someone to talk to about how I felt in the relationship, and someone to open my eyes to the fact that it wasn’t a good relationship.

And I know what everyone out there is thinking right now, that Andrew more or less convinced me that I wasn’t happy in the relationship. Because I know you all haven’t got that out of your heads yet that Andrew didn’t steal me from Adam.

I know that the advice he gave me was good, because after I thought about it and talked to other people about the same subjects, I got the same answers. That it was time to end the relationship with Adam. So Blah to all you fuck heads. Whatever.

I just had to get that all out after the talk last night. I also wish that I could go erase that whole Danny era out of my life. What a waste.

We just talked about a lot of other random things as well. But I don’t remember them. Oh, we talked about “The Thursday”… Ahh such confusing times.

I’m also contemplating adding a “Six Months Ago” thing, just like the one/two year. I thought it might be nice because private entries become public after about 6 months usually, so it’d be interesting to let people go back and read those. But at the same time, I don’t know if I really want people to. I know that hardly ANYONE reads my archives to go back and look for the privates, so why publicize  them.

Today has been good. I got up at 7 and did random stuff tell class. I really didn’t want to go to class, but whatever. I went and it was a total waste of time. I spent the whole class reading the old journal entries and getting pissed all over again, because I know I was right, and he wasn’t.

After class I came to work. We got our new firewall in today. I was kind of annoyed with that because the bitch gave it to Chris G and not me. Chris G is leaving here SOON, so why give him something like that. We know it’s going to take at least 2 months before it gets implemented (That’s the set time line as of now). So why give him new projects to get into the middle of and then have to hand it over to someone else? Really… Where’s the logic.

So Chris G left early though and I took it and have been playing with it for a while. I locked myself out of it once, but then remembered how to get back into it. Then for most of the day it was lost on the network and I couldn’t find it. That took me forever to get fixed. But I eventually did find it… Stupid machines getting lost in networks.

After that I fucked things up a lot and had to go buy a serial cable so that we could reset the thing to factory defaults. Did that and then put it away for the day. I don’t feel like breaking it any more. lol.

Andrew called me at some point today as well. I was very annoyed with the secretary because she didn’t even buzz me to make sure I was in my office before she transferred it. Whore. And I wasn’t in my office, but I heard my phone ringing and ran and caught it. We spend like 30 minutes talking about how his day was been and how his PU’s are being abusive to his little step brothers. And they really are abusive.

Then we talked about how his Dad’s buying the little kids tons of stuff and then won’t buy Andrew anything, and then also how his dad bitched at him about how much college is paying and apparently he seems to think Andrew has to come up with $10,000. And yeah, just really confussing and it pissed me off and made me sad that they’re putting Andrew though all this. He really doesn’t need the stress. From what I gather they’ve been saying that they would pay for college and now all of a sudden they want him to come up with $10,000. (Because apparently they’re only going to pay what it costs to put his elder sister thourgh college, which is totaly fair, you know… Sarcasm)


Tonight I’m going to go home and go swimming, then read books for the night. Tomorrow it’ll be an early morning to get up to Perry. Then Saturday I get to pick up Andrew.. I’m very excited for that!

I’m out…


2 replies on “Finally Thursday”

I’ve been thinking about swimming a bit lately. Seems that I could use to actual exercise, but weight lifting/running/general sports would suck. Maybe one day I’ll get the time and guts to go make fun of myself at the pool, lol.

i didnt wanna hang out with you this weekend. im going camping!!!!!!!!!! i wanted to hang out during the week. but thats over with. i mite be up in ames thursday nite so you can give me a call if you want. (contrary to other’s popular belief, i never thought andrew “stole” you from adam) have a great day!

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