Not Published

I should have!

So this weekend was really great in the emotion times category with Andrew. And a lot of stuff happened.

Friday night we went back to my house and laid around in my bed the whole night. We were talking about a ton of random stuff. And we were both pretty tired. At one point apparently Andrew thought that I was going to say something, and then he went off on this thing of, “Just tell me what you were going to say.” I really had no idea what he was talking about, because I don’t recall starting to say anything and then stop. But the whole time that he was saying that there was something that I was thinking I could take this oppurtunity to tell him. But I was scared about doing it. I’m always very scared and nervous about taking one step in relationships. I’m always scared about the other person not felling the same way. Anyways, luckly he took that step for me, and just as we were thinking about leaving he said, “I think I’m in love with you.”

Those words touched me so much, and it was hard for me to keep back the tears. It’s exactly what I wanted to say that whole time. All I could do was hold him tighter and kiss him. Eventually I finally found some words and told him that I felt the same way. We laid there and I was crying, and I think that he started to cry too. We left, and I drove him back to Downtown. It was very hard to leave him that night.

Saturday was also very good, even though there were some annoyances. Not much really happened untell we went back to my house. We went hot tubbing and Andrew wore just his string bikinis. So hot. We made out and it was raining and it was so hot! Rarrr. Eventually we made our way inside and up to my room. Where I got a REALLY great rimmy and we made out. At one point he was jacking both me and him, and we were making out at the same time.. That was REALLY hot! Amazingly he got me to cum, which I was very surprised about because I hadn’t been able to get myself to cum that morning. I was sweating so much, and breathing very hard though, but it was super good! 😀

After that I gave him a rimmy, but since he had kept his underwear on it was very choloriny down there. But I stuck it out cause I really wanted to pleasure him since I hadn’t given a rimmy in a while. So I did that, and then gave a bit of a bj. And I was going to try and finger him, so I got out some real lube to try that with so that it would be the most comfortable for him. So I got it out, and lubed up my finger, and slowly stuck it into him. But I could tell by his face that he really wasn’t enjoying it. So that made me feel really stupid about that and after that I didn’t really put my all into it. After I stopped though I tried to continue to jack him, but he seemed to also not really be into that. So I guess I kinda got frustrated as well. And then he took over and jacked it for a while, and then all of a sudden he just stopped. So I knew something was wrong.

We talked about it and he was frustrated that I wasn’t doing enough to him, which I can understand. So we were both just frustrated at that point. For different reasons. That was the closest we’ve come to a fight so far. So I guess that’s a good thing. But I really didn’t want it to end like that, we were having such a great time, and I felt really bad for not getting him to cum.

We drove home and talked some, and all was fine.

Sunday was UBER great with him though, it was so great to be able to hold hands and kiss and everything and not worry about what everyone else was thinking because we were with a TON of other gay people…. Although, really, when we’re out in public I don’t really think that much about what everyone else is thinking.

It was great great great, and I had the time of my life Dancing with him. It was so much fun.

After all that we went back to my place and were going to just go inside and talk for a little bit, but ended up staying for an hour. We talked about me and Adam and the trip to MN. I really wish that I had broken up with Adam so much earlier. I really should have! And I really wish that I would have talked to Andrew about his feelings when I was told to. But whatever, you can’t change the past, and I’m going to live up the present for the next 2 months. And deal with things as they come after that.

As we were saying goodbye on Sunday night I again started to cry for no real reason. I just don’t know why. I’ve never cried so much for a boy.

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