Is all that I really need sometimes to brighten up my day!
Tuesday Andrew just randomly called me up, he says to “Just say Hi” but we ended up talking for an hour! It was so great to just talk to him for that long about random things, and it really brought my mood up for that day! It made me so happy.
Today he did the same, just called me about 5:45, and we only talked for about 15 minutes or so cause I was at work. But it didn’t matter, I could have talked longer. He invited me to come downtown, but I wasn’t sure if I wanted to drive all that way. But my wanting to see him won out, and I went down. It was a ton of fun to hang out with him and Shiela and Dustin. Although I just kinda sat there and didn’t say much, it was still amusing.
So tonight I came home after hanging out with them, and I got my mail, two things… One from Providian, a bill. The other from ISU. I was so confused as to what it could be, so I opened it up, and it was a check… A HUGE check!
I got $543 from ISU, for no really reason that I know of! But still, I’m psyched. I was just bitching about how I just had $42 in my account. All this money is going to savings though, and nothing else!
Wed was also great, and that really brought my mood up. Being with Andrew makes me so very happy!
Anyways, most of what we did is in the regular entry, but there’s a few things that needed to be put here…
First is that while we were driving to get Vero, Andrew said that he wanted to learn all about the scouts and why it meant so much to me… And that gesture in it self made me so happy that he cared enough to actually ask. With Adam I practically had to FORCE him to come to camp with me, and whever I talked about scouts, he was just like “Yeah whatever, back to Bonsai now!” But Andrew asking means so much to me! :'(
Then later on we were watching TV (Good Eats, I LOVE THAT SHOW!) And making out and yeah, I got a BJ with the window blinds open! It was so nerve raking. But still, very good! Andrew does good work. After I came, we moved into my room and I stripped Andrew… He seemed to have enjoyed that process. Then I gave him a bj, and other things… He just wouldn’t cum though with me jacking him to he finished himself off. I felt kinda bad about that, the fact that I couldn’t get him to cum, and the fact that he had to finish himself. But whatever, sometimes I know I can’t cum even if the other person is doing EVERYTHING right!
After that we laid in my bed and that was soooo nice. I really didn’t want him to leave last night. I told him that him calling me on Tuesday made me really happy, and thanked him for that. And thanked him for just being there. I had to wipe away the tears a few times while we were laying there. Finally he had to leave because his horrid mother wouldn’t let him stay the night! Grrr at Sue. It was so sad to see him leave….
And that night it was so hard to get to sleep, I felt so alone in bed without him. You would think I’d be used to sleeping bymyself, but last night it was hard. It’s such a large bed, I need someone that I care about next to me.
And next week is going to be hell… I’m not looking forward to it.
But speaking of everything, I think I’m going to try and find a doctor that’ll give me Paxil… I’ve tried everything else, and it just hasn’t worked in the past… Plus I think now my anxiety has really stepped up some. Like when Dustin asked me to go to IC with him. It was very hard to say yes, because I was nervous about going, I don’t know why. But lately I’ve been avoiding all social contact that isn’t nessecary. It’s hard with such a social bf, but it’s also very good that he is like that, because otherwise I would drive myself into hiding and then become even more depressed.
But so far the only drug I have has been working wonders… Thanks Drew Bear, you make me so happy!
//Edit: I just wanted to add a few things that I forgot… One thing is that I found out that Andrew was actually all scared and crying and upset after the threesome because he was confused about what was going on between him and I. I felt bad to have caused that by just trying to be nice, but also, I’m glad that things worked out so good now!