After last weekend Andrew and I needed to talk. I wanted to make sure that he was alright and that the feelings were all good on both sides.
Last night we got that chance to talk and it was very nice. He got here about 8 and we just talked until like 9ish or so. Finally I told him to sit down and I showed him the private entry that I had written on Monday.
He read though it and I sat on the bed. Onc e he was done, he turned around and we talked about lots of stuff, about what happened, about our feelings for each other and all kinds of stuff.
He said that he had strong feelings and I said that they were reciprocated. We both bitched about Adam and how bad of a bf he is and that he expects me to drop whatever I’m doing when he up and calls. Etc.
I told Andrew that if he weren’t going to Chapman in the fall I would have to be making a VERY hard decission about weather I want to dump Adam and persue a relationship with him. He said âˆšÃ‰Â¬Ã˜âˆšÃ‡Â¬Ã¸âˆšÃ‡Â¬Î©You can come to Chapman with me.âˆšÃ‰Â¬Ã˜âˆšÃ‡Â¬Ã¸âˆšÃ‡Â¬Î© That meant so much to me. But there’s no way that would work. I coulnd’t transfer again my Senior year. There’s just no way.
We spent the night hugging, embracing, kissing, carassing. I wanted to make out with him so bad. I really did. But I can’t I’m still with Adam and that would be wrong of me to do that to him.
We got VERY little sleep cause we both kept moving around and stuff.
Throughout the night he would keep saying âˆšÃ‰Â¬Ã˜âˆšÃ‡Â¬Ã¸âˆšÃ‡Â¬Î©oh chrisâˆšÃ‰Â¬Ã˜âˆšÃ‡Â¬Ã¸âˆšÃ‡Â¬Î© and the like stuff. It was the nicest night I’ve had in a VERY long time. Probably since before Adam and I got back together.
There’s so much on my mind right now. I have more fun with Andrew then I do Adam. I just don’t feel that right now I can throw away a year and a half of a relationship for something that’ll probably have to end once he goes to Cali.
I’m sure he’ll find someone that he loves just as much if not more once he gets there.
I told him that and he said âˆšÃ‰Â¬Ã˜âˆšÃ‡Â¬Ã¸âˆšÃ‡Â¬Î©Yeah, but it won’t be the person that I want to be with.âˆšÃ‰Â¬Ã˜âˆšÃ‡Â¬Ã¸âˆšÃ‡Â¬Î©
I love that boi dearly. Why couldn’t I have met him when Adam and I were broken up. Things would have turned out much different.