i want you to take the monkey feet outta the water

Ahh,another wonderful day of school. Anyways, yesterday was fairly boring. I got a low A on my Physics test, go me! Work sucked, I was FREEZING. Everyone was like “oh, you look cold” i was like thanks for noticing, now buy some damn hot wings! I did sell about 12 though, so it wasn’t too bad.
Skinny called. I haven’t talked to him for awhile. It was nice to know he’s still alive. We just talked about everything that was going on. It made me happy. I layed down on my bed and just listened to “Us and Them” and I felt relaxed. Well, semi-relaxed.
More on the Jenny saga: Today in Publications, she still didn’t say much, and when I said that I had talked to Skinny, she just went “Good for you.” Then after class, she scurried to the bathroom again. I want to confront her about it, but I don’t know what to say. I don’t see what I am doing wrong. I hate how I don’t even do anything to anybody, and yet I can still get people to hate me. It just doesn’t make sense.
I talked to Laura at work yesterday. We may go out Saturday night. She’s fun! I enjoy her.
I haven’t heard from David in forever. He called once and said that his phone “kept calling me.” Yet he also said he didn’t give his phone to anyone else, and he has a flip phone, so there is no way it could’ve called automatically. Then we talked for a little bit. We talked one other time after that, because I was feeling sad and I gave in and called him. He told me to call him sometime and I siad I was afraid to because he never seems to want to talk to me and he never calls me. He said it’s nothing personal and that he’s just really busy. I wanted to scream, “I BET YOU AREN’T TOO BUSY FOR NATE, YOU FUCK!” but somehow I contained myself. So I called him a few days later, and surprise surprise, no answer! I left a message, saying I hoped to hear from him soon. I also said “I love you”, which in retrospect, was probably not the smartest thing to do. It’s been a week, and has he called? Nope! I’m slowly but surely getting over the whole situation, except I’m afraid that I’m not really getting over it at all b/c I just avoid thinking about it and fill my mind with other things. But hey, whatever works. I don’t want to see him during the holidays. It will ruin everything I’ve been doing. Just like in the summer, when I was finally semi-OK with what was happening, then I had to go to the damn mall and see him and fall in love again. That better not happen again, or I’m gonna be mad. Grrr… he upsets me.
On another note, before I get too upset, I got my recommendation from Mrs. Every today. It was very very good. I really hope I get that scholarship. I felt special after reading all the nice things she had to say about me.
I need to start my experiment for Independant Study. I don’t even know what I’m gonna do. It’s too confusing. I’m supposed to see Mrs. Every after this block. I’ll be missing part of third, but it’s Physics, so it’s not like I give a damn. I’m already looking forward to the weekend. No work again!!! YAY!! I’m excited to hang out with Adam and Chris. Is that weird? I just enjoy them. Hopefully they are good by then, so we can all go out and have a jolly time!
Actually, I was reading Chris’ website the other day, and I was kinda shocked because it was like I was reading my own life up there on the screen. It was mostly about the fight between him and Adam. He thinks exactly like I do. He said something about hoping that Adam MIGHT leave the dance early to come see him, and then he was disappointed when he didn’t. Well, I would totally think the same thing if it was me. A lot of other things too, it was just weird to see how alike we can be from a relationship standpoint. Too bad I’m not in a relationship… I don’t even really want anything physical. I just want a guy to curl up with when I’ve had a bad day who will just hold me and tell me that everything’s alright and make me feel special and like somebody wants me. God, I’m such a loser…
Erin called yesterday. I was at work. She had a rough day. I miss her. I can’t wait until the summer, when she will hopefully come spend a week or so with me! That’ll be awesome, b/c I think she’s gonna rent a hotel room, then we can hang out and party and stuff! woohoo!
Anyways, my Pop-Tarts are calling out to me. I’d better go eat them and then go to sleep until the bell rings.

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