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Adam’s Conversation 2

11:35:41 pischkoa: Hello?

11:35:47 Adam – Sluk: Hi

11:35:54 pischkoa: How are you?

11:36:01 Adam – Sluk: OK

11:36:09 Adam – Sluk: Nervous

11:36:14 pischkoa: Why are you nervous?

11:36:21 Adam – Sluk: About tonight

11:36:34 pischkoa: Oh, the movie thing?? Have you talked to Kim about it yet?

11:37:10 Adam – Sluk: I’m going to cal her in a bit

11:37:14 pischkoa: Ahh.

11:37:49 pischkoa: So what else is up?

11:37:50 Adam – Sluk: Kit called me this morning and said she had a pseudo script and for us to PLEASE change it as we see fit. She was going to email it to me so I got on to check

11:37:59 pischkoa: I see.

11:40:03 pischkoa: You’re mad aren’t you.

11:40:35 Adam – Sluk: A bit yes

11:40:41 pischkoa: Why?

11:43:04 Adam – Sluk: Well yesterday I talked to you, I was really upset but in the end I felt a bit better about the whole situation. Then last night someone downtown asked if you were upset, I asked why and he told me about your away message last night. That’s when I called you.

11:43:04 Adam – Sluk: I wasn

11:43:04 Adam – Sluk: ‘t very happy last night

11:46:50 pischkoa: 1) Who told you about it? 2) I wasn’t very happy last night either, or the night before… Wed night you had to work, after you got off I figured you would at least call em to see if I wanted to do anything for a while, you never did. That made me sad. I cried the whole fucking night, then last night, I was going to go out as well… But you never even asked, you just assumed that I wasn’t, now I’ll give you the fact that I hadn’t been going out, but when I said three times that “I guess I won’t get to see you tonight since you’re already going out with missy” and other things along those lines, and you never even gave it a second chance, you say that it hurts you when you go out without me, but yet you never really seem to make move to try even ask if I wanted to go out. That really upset me, the whole night last night, from the time I left myoffice tell the time I went to bed, there were tears rolling down my face cause I didn’t know what the hell was going on. I didn’t know what the hell you were thinking…. I was upset as hell last night.

11:50:34 Adam – Sluk: You said yourself that you wouldn’t see me on wednesday becasue I worked and on thursday you had a paper to write. As far as I was told you couldn’t do anything. I wanted to. And when you said “I guess I won’t see you tonight…” I took that as you couldn’t do anything. Ou know you’re welcome to go out with me anytime…not even “welcome” but we SHOULD be together whenever we can. You shouldn’t have to be invited. After 6 months it’s just second nature. When we’re free, we’re together

11:51:56 Adam – Sluk: But regardless of misunderstandings between us, saying relationsips suck on AIM for everyone to see…why?

11:53:15 pischkoa: Cause I was pissed off, I was mad, I was upset. Damnit. I was fucking crying my eyes out last night.

11:54:50 Adam – Sluk: And you thought that would help. After hearing about that I had my share of crying too. When I didn’t invite you I didn’t mean anything. History should show you that I simply don’t get your “subtle hints” but you saying that was blatently mean…I don’t care how upset you were that was un called for

11:56:32 pischkoa: Fine, I’m sorry for saying that.

11:56:55 Adam – Sluk: That’s not how this works Chris.

11:57:08 pischkoa: Well then how _does_ it work.

11:59:03 Adam – Sluk: This is silly. It’s not my fault that you can’t go out, you said your self you don’t blame me for it. But yet I get all bad vibes. I feel bad simply for doing anything at all becasue you’re at home or work. I can’t keep track of your schedule any better than you can keep track of mine, especually when we’re apart. There was no reason you couldn

11:59:45 Adam – Sluk: ‘t have said “You want to do something tonight?” and there would have been no problem. But instead you droppped hints that I obviously didn’t pick up on, and you blamn it on me

12:00:55 Adam – Sluk: Then in your anger you say something like that, that I didn’t even see but rather hear about from other people. Thats bull

12:02:04 pischkoa: I’m not blaming shit on you. I’m venting my anger towards you and I’m sorry I’m doing that.

12:02:07 Adam – Sluk: I’ve made every attempt to try and help things, we’ve talked about this, we’ve tried and everytime we come out feeling like we’ve accomplished something yet nothing happens, and more anger incurs, what are we going to? Some sort of scheduling has to take place

12:02:43 Adam – Sluk: If you’re vent ing your anger towards me, then how do I come out being the bad guy?

12:03:40 pischkoa: I don’t know.

12:03:58 Adam – Sluk: you never did…But you never even asked, …and you never even gave it a second chance

12:04:08 Adam – Sluk: And you are blaming me

12:06:58 pischkoa: I don’t know what to say, fine I’m wrong for blaming you, I’m sorry for making you feel bad, I’m sorry for everything and anything I’ve ever said to you to make you feel like shit.

12:08:36 Adam – Sluk: You don’t have to say anything. It’s what you ARE saying that made me mad. I mean the away message had one intention. and it wasn’t one of “hey Just so you know where I am…” like most away messages

12:10:53 Adam – Sluk: During this whole situation, I’ve somehow felt this was my fault, that I was doing something wrong, but the truth was neither of us were to blame. We were in a shitty situation and there was no good way out. I tried to handle everything as best I could, and as did you. But last night was upsetting for both of us because you lost your temper. That can’t be made better by saying “Fine I’m sorry”

12:11:18 pischkoa: I’m sorry for everything, I’ve been through enough in the last two days, enough crying enough wondering if we’re going to be together tomorrow, enough cryng because I don’t know if I’ll have boyfriend whom I dealry love and can’t stand being apart from, over the last two days, you’ve said that you had doubts about our relationshipa nd you wouldn’t tell me what you ment by that. I don’t doubt our relationship, I think that we’re strong, but I just don’t know what to think now, I don’t know what the hell is going on damnit. I don’t mean to hurt you, but when I get hurt, I do what seems like the right thing to do. At the time I felt like that, and I wanted someone to talk to, you weren’t there, I couldn’t talk to you, I put up an away message about my feelings and I left, I went and cried in the shower. Damnit, I’m sorry.

12:11:45 pischkoa: Alright, now you’re blaming this on me. And I don’t like that. I did not lose my temper, I was sad, I was upset, I felt like shit. Don’t dare blam this on me.

12:14:53 Adam – Sluk: OK I’m sorry, but I never doubted us till last night. When my boyfriend, my love, my soul mate says relationshps suck I wonder why he’s in one then. I wa soo scared last night, we left downtown I bawled the whole way telling Missy how sacred I was, how scared I was that you were giving up, that we were falling apart, that I was losing you. I lost you once, volentarily I add, I NEVER want to lose you again. It pains me to be apart from you as it pains you I’m sure, then hearing that when I thought we were on the road to recovery hurts me very deeply. I didn’t know what to think

12:16:57 Adam – Sluk: I though that you were done, I thought “who knows where we’ll be in the next couple days” for the first time since out first break up, I was scared for us. I hated that feeling. I can’t take it. I didn’t sleep last night. I almost came to POlk City at 3 this morning and shaking you and screaming “What’s happening?”

12:18:41 Adam – Sluk: After many a little tiff, 6 months into the relationship we hit this. And since this a first, neither of us know who to deal. But I learned last night, that Julian and Dean had a very similer experience, and they weathered that storn just fine, as I know we will, one way or another

12:20:21 Adam – Sluk: Please say something…

12:20:55 pischkoa: If I were done then I called you back at 11 when you called, if I were done then I would have come to downtown and told you that I was through with you… But I didn’t because I wasn’t done, I don’t want to lose you ever again, I went thgouh it once and these last couple days it’s felt like I’ve lost you again, for me it’s felt that way. That you were already gone. I didn’t know what to think of things last night, I didn’t want to give up. I was going to drive downtown numerous times and tell you, that damnit I wanted to go out last night. I wanted to, and when you called last night, I hoped that maybe you would come over so we could talk about it. But you never did. I was going to drive over there, but I didn’t know how you were feeling or what you were feeling, I thought it the worst and I didn’t want to face that then. I know that we’ll get through this in time, but we HAVE to talk more, you have to be more receptive and think more of me, and I have to tell you more str8 out about what I want and what I’m thinking, we both have our flaws, but that’s the way the world works. We’ll get through it.

12:23:02 Adam – Sluk: I know we will. And I’m not blaming this one you, but I truly think part of this stems from the meds, or lack thereof. We need to work to fix whatever problems yu have.

12:23:27 Adam – Sluk: Because your problems, are our problems

12:23:31 pischkoa: And youneed to work to fix the problems you have as well.

12:23:36 Adam – Sluk: I know.

12:24:15 pischkoa: So are we better now?

12:24:27 Adam – Sluk: Not yet, but we will be…

12:24:37 pischkoa: … What?

12:24:48 Adam – Sluk: We can go somewhere and talk tomorrow after I gte off work

12:25:08 pischkoa: Why not tonight, after the Movie thing.

12:25:36 Adam – Sluk: We can, I think everyone wants to go out after if you want to too. But we can if it would be better

12:25:55 pischkoa: I think it would be better. I can’t stand another night of this shit.

12:26:07 Adam – Sluk: OK. We can go somewhere and talk

12:26:41 Adam – Sluk: Let’s go to nalan plaza and talk. I found last night it’s a good place for thinking.

12:26:49 pischkoa: Fine

12:26:54 Adam – Sluk: No fines

12:27:10 Adam – Sluk: OK works better

12:27:10 pischkoa: I still want to know who told you.

12:27:51 Adam – Sluk: That’s not important. They wern’t trying to cause trouble, they wanted to make sure out fairy tale romance was still ok

12:28:04 pischkoa: I know, but I want to know who it was.

12:28:15 Adam – Sluk: OK…Mike

12:28:32 pischkoa: Ok

12:30:22 Adam – Sluk: So I have to be at the Church at 5 to set up, so are you going to meet us there?

12:30:34 Adam – Sluk: Do you wanna come early and help set up too?

12:30:42 pischkoa: I was planning on meeting you at your house.

12:30:51 Adam – Sluk: What time are you off?

12:30:56 pischkoa: When ever I want to be.

12:31:19 pischkoa: I can leave at 3 if you want, or even 2:30

12:31:19 Adam – Sluk: Ah, well tha works. I didn’t think you got off till 4:30 or something

12:31:41 Adam – Sluk: OK the call me when you get into ANkeny. I should be home, but just in case

12:32:02 Adam – Sluk: Umm if you wanna come earlier that’s cool, but anytime around 4 is cool

12:32:08 pischkoa: Fine

12:32:14 Adam – Sluk: No fines….

12:32:22 Adam – Sluk: : )

12:33:50 pischkoa: What about the Wayne Newton bridge?

12:33:55 pischkoa: Yeah you know, the one they’ll build in 2031 to connect The Las Vegas Islands to the Arizonian mainland?

12:33:57 Adam – Sluk: WHAT?!?!

12:34:19 Adam – Sluk: Adams confused

12:34:32 pischkoa: Nevermind then.

12:34:35 Adam – Sluk: lol

12:34:40 Adam – Sluk: What was that?

12:34:49 pischkoa: It was _supposed_ to be a joke.

12:35:04 Adam – Sluk: It was funny, where’d it come from though?

12:35:14 pischkoa: http://slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=02/06/07/1412217&mode=nested&tid=126&threshold=2

12:35:21 Adam – Sluk: Ah

12:35:44 pischkoa: I have to go work, brb

12:36:22 Adam – Sluk: OK Well I’m going to find something to eat. See you around 3 or 4?

12:37:39 pischkoa: Yeah.

12:37:42 Adam – Sluk: Bye!

12:37:45 Adam – Sluk: I love you!

12:37:51 pischkoa: Bye!. Love you too

12:37:56 Adam – Sluk: *hugs*

12:38:01 Adam – Sluk: *extra hugs*

12:38:04 pischkoa: ::hugs::

12:38:07 pischkoa: :-*

12:38:10 Adam – Sluk: Bye

Adam – Sluk is logged out @ Fri Jun 7 12:43:11 2002.

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