My Life

Oct 29, 2001

Oct 29, [Enya, "A Day Without Rain"]

I’m so close to just a total complete breakdown right now. I can’t fucking

study, I can’t think at all. I hate my roommate. I’m doing a shity ass job

in my classes. I just hate it here. It’s only 1 and already today I’ve broken

down crying a few times. I mean, I just can’t handle it. I can’t study in

this environment, and I can’t find anywhere that I really can study. It

doesn’t help that my roommate just sits in here and watches those damn fucking

annoying TV shows all day, have you ever tried studying with MASH, or some

other stupid comedy central show playing in the background? It just doesn’t

work. And this morning was just the last fucking straw too. I got my Bartelby

paper back and I got a fucking "F" on it. I mean I worked my ass

off on that damn paper. I worked hard on it, you know what she said, she

said I didn’t follow the directions at all. I followed the fucking directions,

I did what I was supposed to. I explained why that mother fucking lawyer

was "an altruist." Maybe if she would have spent a little, just

a little bit of time explaining what it was that she wanted then, or giving

us an example, or maybe had she given us more choices on what to write about

in that damn paper. I just want to give up. I want to drop out now and just

go away somewhere. I don’t want to fucking be here at all.

Next week I’ve got another paper due in that class, a paper that she just

handed out the directions for today. I called the writing center to see

if I could get help in there, and they told me that I had to call a week

in advance to get in. Fuckers, what kind of help is that? I have to call

a week in advance to be able to get help? What about when the fucking teacher

doesn’t hand out the directions until less then a week before the damn paper

is due? Huh? What the hell are we supposed to do then? God damnit. I’ve

got three tests next week, a quiz. I can’t handle this, everything just

fucking piles up and piles up. It’s just to much for me to handle right


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