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My Life

Oct 3, 2001

Oct 3, [Sophie B. Hawkins, "Right Beside You"]

Three months ago today I was sitting in a tree along the Des Moines river

with someone that I had the biggest crush on. There in that tree, on that

night. We made the commitment to be Boy Friends. I was so excited that night.

Little did I know that that person would change my life so drastically,

change my life for the better, and take me through what I’ve been thought.

Little did I know that I would soon fall in love with that person. Little

did I know that our relationship together would only last a short time,

but our relationship as friends would continue to grow and that we would

become closer and closer. Little did I know. Looking back, I’m glad that

things happened the way they did. Of course, I wish I could change some

things, but we’ve had the best times of my life together, and I’m sure that

there will always be more good times to come. As I sit here looking at his

picture I think about what we’ve shared, what we’ve been though. How much

closer that all has brought us.

It takes a minute to like someone, an hour to have a crush one someone,

and a day to love someone; but it takes a life time to forget someone.

I hate being away from him. When we’re apart it feels like I’m missing

apart of who I am. I want that part back and I try everyday to live as though

that parts not missing, as though he’s never been in my life cause it hurts

so much to live with out him close by. It hurts because he is such a great

friend, because I love him, becuase I know that I can’t have him. It hurts

because when I go to bed because he is on my mind, when I space out in class

it’s him that’s in my day dreams, when I’m sitting at lunch, I wish he would

walk though those doors so I can talk to him, when I’m walking to class,

it’s him I wish were there talking to me. He’s everywhere I go, but he’s

no where that I go.

I want the weekends to be here. I want the weeks to be over, I want AZ

to be now, I want our future to be happy, I don’t want to loose him ever

as a freind. I don’t want to have to leave him again, I don’t want to have

to say goodbye. I don’t want to have to see him go, I don’t want to have

to be the one to go.

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