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My Life

Oct 2, 2001 #3

Oct 2

I hate being here where I don’t have someone I can hang out with all the

time. I hate being here away from the person that I love. Even though they

don’t love me back the way I’d like. I still like being with them. I love

spending that time with him and I take every moment of that time to heart.

I take every moment I can get together with him as if it were the last moment

together. I want to move from this hell hole now. I want to be somewhere

where I don’t ever have to leave that persons side. I know though that one

day that time will come and I’ll feel as though a part of me has been taken,

and then I’ll never get it back, I’ll never be myself again. He has a part

of me with him. I have a part of him with me. Together we make two people,

but apart we make two halfs. I can’t stand being apart. I can’t. The touch

of his body, the sight of his face, sitting in his car talking about random

things. They all make me so happy, they all make me a different person.

A person that I wish I could be all the time, but without him here, with

out him next to me. I can’t be. Everyday I feel as though I’m losing more

and more of him. We talk, we have good times, we hang out, we talk about

the future, but everyday I feel as though a part of me loses him, he’s moving

farther and farther way from me. He says that he doesn’t want anything to

do with me. But I get vibes that he does. Little things that he does, little

things that bring us closer, yet farther apart. I love that relationship

that we have together, I really do. And I don’t want it to end.

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