may 30, [fine young cannibals, "she drives me crazy"] so today’s
just been really really sucky. i spent this morning just packong shit and
going over all the knots and stuff that i have to know. yeah that wasn’t fun.
really not much has happened today, but i’ve been in a really downer mood.
my parents haven’t said anything to me but come eat and little shit like that.
i’ve tried talking to them both tonight and they just ignore me. alot of people
have been ignoring me lately. they really have. i feel so left out and alone,
in the middle of no where. i really do. i’ve been sitting here for the last
hour and a half or so. just waiting for people to pull into my drive way,
or hoping that someone will call. but no one’s around., and there’s nothing
to do. i’m agout ready to go crazy. i just want this to be over. i want out
of here. i want to be gone. my parents have been arguing all night about being
able to pay for college too. it’s like, you fuckers. you knew this was coming
why the hell havn’t you saved up for it or anything? [bee gee’s, "how
can you mend a broken heart"] and ya know they haven’t put in the fafsa
yet, so i really don’t feel sorry for them, the stupid bastards. and plus
i’m really getting pissed at them about the whole working thing too, i’ve
just been kinda listening to them, and they’ve been bitching about me not
working for the last year. and i jsut want so badly to fucking scream at them,
but how long have i been working, how much have i saved you so far because
you won’t pay for simple little things what i was younger, how much of MY
life has been wasted because you made me work in that god damn fucking store
and how much of my teenage life was wasted because i had to work at places
because you wouldn’t buy me a car, or pay for simple things that i needed.
they wouldn’t give me an allowance, they wouldn’t buy me little things that
i needed. they wouldn’t do shit for me. i’m really fucking surprised they’ve
even offered to pay for college and shit. [billy gilman, "another night"]
i jsut want to fucking scream at them right now, i really god damnit do. i
know i know, i’ve been using fucking alot again lately, but this is just really