well it’s dec 3rd. it’s 11:00 am i’ve been up since 7 this morning but didn’t
get out of bed tell 10 or so. there are like two people sleeping on the floor,
so i was like well they’ll be getting up soon but they didn’t so i just got
up and walked around them, they’re stll sleeping, along with my roomie, and
i think his gf is here too. arg. i hate when they do this. it’s like damn
it it’s my fucking room to,. well enough about that. the last two days have
been pretty good. i got to talk to danny alot, he’s spending time away from
his friends as he put it. sounds like a good idea to me. lol. found out some
pretty cool stuff, i guess he lived in Puerto Rico fro like 7 years before
mocing here, that’s pretty cool, and he’s looking at colleges out there in
PA. that’s sad, cause if i end up in SDSU i won’t be able to see him at all.
there’ld be no way i could drive out there but yeah he’s really sweet, i want
a damn pic of him though damn it. well i got caught up on my algerbra, i think
i’ve got a test on wed at like 7 or so, i don’t want to take it, but it’ll
help my grade (it’s not a required test, hehe). so yeah, these jerks are all
here in my room, and i have a really loud clacky kjeyborad, i hope it wakes
them up hehe, cause i type really hard and with an annoying random style,
it’s sounds pretty coo.. hehe. but other then that i can’t this oof anything
that’s been going on round here. been pretty good these last two days or so.
well i’m going to go off to lunch now, hopefully these dorks will be awak
by the time i get back. damn them, the fuckers. i want to listen to the radio
and i can’t cause they are all sleeping. o well. time for food………well
i stayed in the cyber cafe from about 11:30 tell 3:00 i was watching the webcam
of the room to see when they finally got up. so when they left i came back.,
my roomie is really rude, i can’t beleive that he would just show up with people, ARG. damn it, i can’t wait to get the hell out of this damn place.
I WANT TO GO TO SDSU. now. hehe, o yeah i was talking to danny last night
and he said that he might be going to cali for school to, that would be cool
if we ened up in the same state. yeah. he’s got a pretty cool history too,
he lived in puerto rico for like 7 yeras, that pretty cool. i love him so much, he’s perfect. everything i am looking for, he’s sweet, smart, loves
kids. he’s so great. but the thing is that we are complete opposites. he’s
Mr popular, jock boy. and well you know me. we’ve been talking alot this weekend.
i mean alot. he’s so nice. ok enough of my babbling. WOW three updates in
one day i must be damn bored. well i just got this e-mail from my aunt, i
told her in a round about way about everything. i don’t know if i said anything
about it before, but after the whole t-day excitment she wrote a sympathitic
letter to me, and i was like, well i guess she knows, now she’s just waiting
for me to confirm, so i did in a round about way. and today i got anouther
e-mail from her. here i’ll just copy and paste it:
First things first. No problem answering the e-mail. Was
just gone from Friday Morning to Today. Did not even check e mail before we
left. So am not mad or been trying to figure out what to say, just wasn’t
home. Sorry if that caused any undo stress. Is that the correct term? Trial
by fire? Well, it certainly does explain a lot of things about your family
and their reaction to everything!!!!!!!!!! Would be nice to be able to come
out and say it without having to worry about what reaction everyone is going
to have. I guess in that respect, everyone in the family should be more like
me!!!!!!!! That’s not something that I thought would ever be said by anyone
in this family, especially me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Let’s just hope that everyone
is enlightened enough that they know that they can’t “change” you. Grandma
wanted to do that to Beckie when she found out that she was going to be left
handed. She kept putting her silverware on the right and making her change
hands. You know, you thought about this a lot more than me, cause when Beckie told me about the earring, I never thought about the left ear. right ear thing.
I guess I thought that was soooooooooo olllllllllllllddddddddddddddddd it
didn’t matter anymore. So the entire speech still stands. Like what you are
doing with your life, must have been a HELL of a childhood and you have some
difficult times ahead of you. You are on the right path, you think clearly
and know your own mind, so when it all comes out, keep your chin up and your
heart sheilded. I’m sure that there will be some dumb things said and done,
but they will come from Love. Believe it or not (even Dr. Phil said this on
Oprah the other day) Pain comes from Love. When you love someone and they
hurt you, they lash out in pain and frustration. That will be Grandma lashing
out, when she says dumb things like Oh no! or Chris this means no grandchildren.
etc etc. Just a thought, so what do you think of boy scouts now????????? Still
Love Ya, still like the haircut. Still think you are a studly young man. What’s
not to love???????/ Call / write anytime. On your side, no matter what. LOVE
YA Sheila
so yeah, i don’t really know what to do about that. I’ll give it some time
to plod around, i’ll get to it latter tonight, i guess. maybe after i talk
to d and kim. ok well that’s the end of my story, i’m going to go and do something,
i guess, i don’t know what. WOW a fourth update today. well i just got done
talking to danny, i love him. well we were talking about Big city life compared
to small stiy life. i was really happy when i was talking to him but now,
i’m just really depressed. i feel like i missed so much in living in a small
town all my life, i never really had any real friends like he does. and it
just really depresses me about how people in the big city have so much more,
they have bigger school, with more diversity, and more oppertunities. I feel
like i was deprived of my life. i want to move to a big city, now that i’m
in college. I’m in an even smaller city, and even farther from everything,
i don’t really like the poelpe here. i don’t get along with them, but when
like danny and i talk we just click, i think. i want to move to the big city.
the BIG city. i even sounds like a country boy. fuck this shit. i want to
go, go now. you don’t know how badly i want to just get in the car and drive
out there to see him. i so want to so badly. I’m so depressed, i think i need
some drugs. I think i might have social anxiety disorder too, huh, i think
i’ve said that before, haven’t i. well this has been one long ass update for
tonight, i think i’m done now. maybe, maybe not.