Well it’s Dec 1st, world aids day, did everyone wear thier red ribbon? well
so wierd things happened last night. i went to bed about 11 like normal, but
i just couldn’t get to sleep. everything that’s happened to me over the last
couple months was just racing through my mind. i think the thing that set
me off was to find out that matt has been dissin me. I’ve sent him four e-mails
and he hasn’t replied to a one. not a single one, and one of them was telling
him to have a happy holiday and that shit. you could at least repsond to that
and say thanks or something, but NO NOTHING. o well i deleted him off my buddies
list last night,and got rid of all the info from “GCCI” if that’s
even a real corp. i deleted everything, if he decides he wants to talk to
me fine, he can contact me. damn it i really liked talking to him and stuff.
he’s a nice guy to talk to. he’s got everything going for him, a rich uncle,
a bf, great student, a good job. i wish i could have had even one of those.
somepeople are just so lucky. he was a really sweet guy to talk to. but apperantly
he doesn’t want to talk to me anymore. he’s made that quite clear. well back
to the original story, i laid there in bed for like 30 minutes just thinkging
about everything, my life, school, jobs, where i’m going in life, everyone
i talk to on the internet. everything. well i just couldn’t take it anymore
so i got up and went for a jog. i was out for an hour, it was snowing it was
soo nice, no one was out. it was a beuatiful night. well i got back here a
little after midnight and then went and took a nice HOT shower. then i came
back in and wrote danny a big old long huge e-mail. it had nothing that would
be of concern to him, but i needed to tell someone, and he was there. so i
did it. i’m kinda regretting it now. but hopefully he will be ok with it all.
then i finally went to bed about 3 this morning, but i didn’t get to sleep
tell sometime after 5 so i’m worling ona bout 3 hours of sleep, not good for
me, not good at all. we had classes as normal today, even though we have a
bout 3 inches of fresh snow on the ground, the local school’s were all canceled,
why can’t they cancel college? I’m really depressed these last couple days.
i think i need some drugs, wonder who i would talk to here on campus to get
some. huh, maybe i should find out.