Green….?!?

I was only trying to install KDE 3.0 it was being a bitch. I got all the packages installed, downloaded, etc. I did. I installed them how they said. I changed the .xsession and the .xinit whatever. I did. But it kept booting me in KDE 2.2.2 I don’t want KDE 2.2.2 I want KDE 3.0 damnit.

So I did it, a thing I shouldn’t have done. I did an rpm -qa | grep kde | grep 2 | rpm -e and I removed all the KDE 2.2.* files. I did it. Now it hates me with a passion.

I restarted my Xserver. Hoping for KDE 3.0 to appear in all it’s glory. But all I got was an ugly green and black screen.

I cried out. “BUT I WANT MY KDE!!” It still woulnd’t give it to me. I pressed and pleaded. I said I’d do anything for it, if it just gave me my KDE, or even GNOME, I’d settle for GNOME, but it just stared at me. Saying “HA, this is what you get for deleting things.”

But I’m showing it now…. I got out the good old backup server, started it up… I did “ssh chris@cjbonline.org” and got in, I did a “Yast2&” and it gave me the god. I got what I wanted. It will live.

I have beaten it at it’s own game. No computer will beat me. None….

Bashed

So I was reading my XY’s when I came across this story… It’s from Andrew McGeehan, or “Purple Shirt Boy”. Alot of you probably remember this night… I wasn’t there that night though, I had just moved up to camp that same day…..

It was June 1st and I couldn’t have been happier. Not only was it the last day of school but I also got a HUGE paycheck and I was looking exceptionally

good in my friends’ clothes. My best friend Tony and I decided to pull an all-nighter to celebrate school ending. We were going to go everywhere and fo

everything, with other friends of course.

Our night began at Buce di Beppo’s, an Italian restaurant. We sat outside, awaiting the arrival of our friends Paige, Katie and Erin. When they got there,

we all ate and had a good time. We were all craving coffee, so we chose to head to Java Joes, the local coffeehouse, located downtown. While there, we met

a gorgeous boy named Dana. To my extreme disappointment, he was taken. But oh well. We found out that he and his friends were heading down to the gay

loop, which is a plave for all the gay youth in the area to hang out. It is just a straught road that you park on and get out to talk with people. Of

course, we told him that we were also heading down there.

That was a decidion we all came to regret.

Not too much was happening down there. Paige and I tested our courage by taking a picture with the old white van inhabited by a peculiar old man. The van

had not left the lok in years. Then we were dancing and talking and having a good time.

I saw headlights and figured more people were coming to join the fun. Turns out it was a car full of dumb whores, who yelled out “faggots” as they drove

by. Well, this didn’t fly too well with anyone down there. When they drove by a second time, someone threw an empty bottle that shattered on their car.

Apparently that really pissed them off.

Subsequently, about 20 minutes late, a bunch of cars came driving past all at once. A bunch of guys got out of each car and it was obvious they were quite

angry. I wasn’t too scared until they went to the trunk and pulled out baseball bats, the kind you kill gay people with.

I could hardly beleive that I saw. It wasn’t long before the yelling began. They demanded to know who had thrown the bottle. Of course, no one condessed.

So they began accusing. The girls told them it was a relatively tall guy with long sleeves. Considering it was a rather cold night, that described just

about everyone down there. As one boy came near, Paige, Erin and I huddles close together. He persister to ask how long we had been there. We lied and

said we had just got there about 0 minutes ago. They seemed to fing that an acceptable answer, and they walked away for the time being.

Now I can’t remember exactly how this happened, but suddenly I was alone. Paige, Erin, Katie, and Tony were standing about 300 feet away. Later, they told

me they thought I was with them. I would’ve ran to them, but between me and them were a bunch of “straight” guys with bats. So I just looked around,

attempting to look innocent.

It wasn’t long before that stopped working. A boy came up to me (batless, thank god) and began to yell at me. He said he knew it was me–I was the fag who

wrecked his friends car. To make matters worse, he pushed me a couple of times. He kept advancing toward me, which forced me to move back.

I wanted to break down and cry. For fear that it would make them more agitated, I controlled myself. I held my ground and told him I didn’t know what he

was talking about–that I wasn’t the one who did it. Of course, he ignored me and continued on with his bombardment of insults. Looking for a way out, I

turned my head and came face-to-face with two boys holding bats.

At this point, I figured it was over. I was going to die for being gay. The fear within me was tremendous. I thought my chest was going to explode. I

blocked everything out, closed my eyes, and prepared for the worst.

Instead of immense pain I was expecting, I heard a voice. A voice telling them to go away from me, and that I didn’t do anything. I opened my eyes and saw

a man stanging before me. I had never seen him before, but I thanked God for him. The boy who had been insulting me now turned his attention to this

mysterious stranger.

I glanced over and saw my friends staring in shocked horror. I saw this as my chance to escape. I walked toward them, with my head down, trying to look

inconspicuous. It seemed to take forever, but I made it to my friends. We all linked arms and moved toward our car. We peeled our and turned around just

in time to see some of the boys chasing after us with bats. But being that we were in a car and they were on foor, they soon gave up.

I sat in the back seat and just cried. I was so shocked and hurt and upset. Although I know gay people are beaten every day, I could hardly beleive it had

happened. My friends apologized profusely for leaving me alone. We parked after awhile, got out, and hugged.

I was still sobbing uncontrolably. It upset me to think that the way I choose to live my life was so offensive to other people. The whole experience was a

real eye-opener to that fact that gay-bashing is still rampant in our country.

I had previously thought that nothing would happen to me because I live in the Midwest; but it can happen to anyone, anywhere. Needless to say, I have not

been down to the look since that night. I would rather spend my night having fun with my friends somewhere else, then go down there and worry about

whether I’ll survive or not.

–Andrew McGreehan (Also known as “Purple Shirt Boy”)

Anything Else….?

Can anything else go wrong?

I mean really, today nothing has gone right, and if it hasn’t gone wrong, then it’s just completely broken.

I got to work this morning, went in started working on the project that I was supposed to be doing, Nazanin comes in and says that the smart board wasn’t working, so I went and fixed that. She wasn’t logged into the right account. After that for some reason every computer was listed in both Domains, Ames and Krell. They’re only supposed to be in Krell. So I had to figure out what that problem was. We found out that NewReal and Real were fighting for control and everything was confused. That took a while and I got alot of shit for it because I didn’t know what was wrong, and it’s like, DAMNIT, not my fault. Then I went back to what I was doing… Soon after that she came in and said that they wanted a list of all the domains that we own / run. Plus she wanted to know all the account numbers (something you can only get on the invoice or by calling them). So I had to do that. Then Chris was working on that Cd, well we finally got the FINAL version of it, after like 50 finals, they had oked it, and we were rady to take it to the copiers. Well after he left, someone found a typo in one of the trademark things, it was one fucking letter. Nazanin wouldn’t have this and insisted that I change it. I don’t know ANYTHING about director which is what he was using, and fyi, director is NOT an easy program to learn. So I went in there… Changed his password on his computer so that I could get in and then figured out how to change the wording… I figured that out fairly easily, but I couldn’t figure out how to save it as a .exe so I was sitting in there reading the help, when in comes Nazanin, miss know it all. She felt that she could figure it out by just messing around with things. So she took the mouse and started playing… An hour and a half later, she gives up and leaves, within 15 minutes of that I had it figured out. I was so pissed at her for messing with that.

So after that, I went back to what I was doing origianlly. I had everything moved over, shut down the old machine and everything was working fine, except one thing… SSI’s. I couldn’t get them to work. So again I turn to help to figure it out. And of course, in comes Know It all Imani. Takes the mouse and fiddles with things… She completely fucked it up. I hate it when she touches things cause she just randomly clicks on things, she doesn’t even know what she’s clicking on. That’s how things get broken around there, cause she thinks she knows what she’s doing, but she doesn’t! So after another hour of her fucking with things, she leaves. I get back to it, fix what she fucked up and then got it working in another 30 minutes. For some reason SSI’s are turned off by default in M$ so you hav to edit the registry to make them work.

So that was my day, and I have the BIGGEST fucking headache right now.

So what do you think about the new color/layout…?

Shut UP!

You know how when you go to bed, sometimes your brain just won’t shut the fuck up… Well last night was one of those nights. Things just kept coming into my head and it wouldn’t shut the fuck up. I was up tell about 2. Just random shit… One thing though was something that happened this summer. Ben Shepley and I would randomly sneak out of camp late at night and go into Boone for food or ice cream or whatever we wanted. Well one night we were driving along the back roads. Just listening to the radio, when all of a sudden he leaned over to me and sayd “Kiss Me.” I was like, WTF? So we talked a bit about homosexuality, but I didn’t come out to him and he didn’t come out to me. That was the last of out converstaions about that though….

Well last night I was thinking… Why didn’t I kiss him that night, maybe something would have happened, maybe he was looking for someone to talk to, I dunno. So I got his phone number today. Maybe Adam and I shall call him this weekend and see if he wants to go to the all ages show at the Garden on Sunday. It might be fun.

I was also thinking about how my website has had the same general layout for like a year now, so I’m thinking that I might change over to something a bit different. I dunno what though. I’m going to work on that tonight after I get done updating here.

I really really want to work for the scouts this summer, you have no idea how badly I want to, but I just can’t. I can’t do that. Adam and I talked about it alot as well. This is going to be the first summer I haven’t been to camp since I was like 10 or something. It’s really sad and hard for me. :'(

Today’s been good so far, not much has really happened. I’m going to go work on a new design, laters all.

Sucky End.

Well sping break has come to a sucky end… All I’ve wanted to do all day is just lay around and cry. It’s been one of those days. Deary, cold, nasty, it hasn’t helped. I met up with Adam about 2 at Hy-Vee hung out and read my XY’s. Good articles, look for some to be up soon. After that we went back to his house and I filled my taxes, I’m only getting $50 back and I made little under $4,000 last year. Oh well. I can use $50 for something. I wish I had that money now cause I could really use it, Rue 21 is going out of business and that have REALLY fucking cute cargo pants that I want for $8 each. I want some sooooo bad. But I can’t afford them, I only have $32 dollars left in my bank account and I still have to pay my $37 phone bill this month. Gwar.

After that we just sat around for a bit then we went to wal-mart and looked at the Trees that they have sitting outside now, Adam got a cutting and he planted it in an thing, he also planted it in an old cookie jar and gave it to me to bring back to my dorm, it’s sooo cute.

I after he was done planting that we went into his room and I laid in his arms and just cried, I don’t know why, but I did, I cried. Today’s just been like that. I left there about 7 and came back up here. I don’t have a room mate, so that’s good.

I’m on the phone know with Register.com to find out an answer to a question that I have. They said that the wait can be up to an hour. I’ve been on now for almost 30 minutes. I’m also trying to help Vero with her program and finding the frost dates for Adam and talking to Trave about camp….

I’m out.