Category: My Life

may, 28, #4. [matchbox 20, "push"] hehe, i was way off with the

whole ‘B’ thing, my tentie is grant. that’s his name and he teaches cooking

which is in scoutcraft, where i work, so that means i work with him, so that’s

all cool like shit. yep, i just wanted to put that there. i’m damn bored tonight

i wanna go out, but i don’t know where anyone is, and i’m not a caller so

yeah, i guess i’ll just hang out here tonight 🙁

may 24, #2 [beach boys, "good vibrations"] well it’s noit good

vibrations in the bf department. i guess danny’s feeling empyt, but he won’t

talk to me about it, so i don’t know what to do. i mean i want to be ther

for him and he can come talk to me when ever he wants. but it’s hard for me

to be around now that i’m at home and such. and i’ve been spending alot of

time with friends, but ihaven’t seen them in forever. so i don’t think that’s

realyit, i don’t know what it is. he needs to talk to me. now i’m really sad

cause i’m worried abouthim. i want to know what’s hurting in his life. i really

reay do. he says "It just feels like you

have totally dissed me or that you have like totally moved." i don’t

know what he means by that. i just don’t know.

may 24 [sting, "everybreath you take"] well i just got back from

the doctor, and the eye place. the doctor said i’ve lost 50 pounds since i

saw him last, which was about the same time last year. so that’s all cool.

i also went to the eye doctor, with the contacts that i have now, i’m 20/25

(or is tat 25/20) well it’s something like that, but it’s not good. i have

stigmatism (sp) so i miught have to go with contacts that cost like 2x more

then what these cost and i _can’t_ afford that. so yeah. i’d have to go back

to glasses. she gave me another pair today to see if they help any, well see.

after that i went to hy-vee to get food. i saw angie, that was good. i got

chinese cause yeah, i haven’t had chinese in sooo long. it was good then i

came home, it wasn’t even 12 yet and my dad was already home. so yeah he’s

here. i wanna go somewhere tonight, but i bet i won’t oh well. i have to go

make my needs list for camp, and man do ineed alot. so yeah that’s going to

take a bit.

may 23, #2 [smashing pumpkins, "1979"] ok so my head is just like

a total mess right now. i know what i want right now, but i don’t know how

to go about getting it, and since it involves other people, i don’t know how

to go about approching them about it. (and since you all have nasty minds,

i’m not talking about sex, thanks). my parents are nuts. they really are.

this fucking computer is pissing me off. i have lesson plans to get done,

i have an $85 phone bill to pay, and i have feelings for someone, but don’t

know how to go about that. there’s just not enough time to get things done,

right now i’m wishing that i wasn’t moving to camp for the summer, i also

wish that i wasn’t moving so far away in the fall either, but i think in the

end it’ll all come out right. i really hope it does. today was pretty cool

though. everyone came to my house, that was cool. they said that i was a "homo

sex god with great hair purple sunglasses cute ass and thighs that wouldn’t

quite" or it was something like that. then we went off, we were going

to go to lenox and then to diaganol, but somehow we ended up going to altona,

which i found annoying. it wouldn’t have been so annoying if angie and julian

would have got dean and like brought him out so we could all talk to him,

but they just stood in the back and talked to him, so the rest of use were

just standing around waiting, i was annoyed by that. but then we went to perry.

we got caught in the rain, that was pretty fun, yet scary as hell cause jules

dones’t have windshield wiper things. so yeah, we couldn’t really see all

that well. [david bowie, "when you’re a boy"] wow this is like the

first time it’s taken me more then one song to update this, lol we wondered

around perry (UPDATE: perry? what the hell am i thinking, that should be pella

if i did that anywhere else it’s pella.) some, then i got drugs cause i had

a headache. then we came back to dm, on the way here we got caught in another

rain storm on the intersate and we couldn’t see anything at all, that was

not fun. i had to pee too. lol. fuck, my redhat install froze on me. damn

it.ok then we got back and everyone went home, which just sucks. danny was

on, so i was talking to him about stuff, cause i’m just all fucked up. then

my parents started yelling at me, they said something about it being nice

i could come in and talk to them for a while. so i got off and left danny,

went to talk to them, and pretty much as soon as i sat down, my mom and brother

got up and left for somewhere, then my dad just sat there watching his damn

cops shows. so i ate some supper shit. then he went to bed and here i am writing

this. yep [B*U, "Summerfire"] wow three songs to write this, that’s

fucked up. right now i really just want someone here that i can lay down with

and cuddle up next to and just cry. damnit. i’ll be leaving now, laters.