So I just got some bad news from Blake.
Apparently he’s got a tumor on his lung, which they think may spread to his heart. That would really suck. I guess they are really going to up his treatments now or something. I’m not really sure. He said he would explain in more detail later.
This makes me really sad, to the point that I’m almost ready to break into tears. I’m sure if I weren’t at work I would be crying. This is bad news. Ever since he told me that he has cancer, I’ve been hoping that he pulls through. I mean, he was a good friend by that time, and it’d suck to lose even a friend, but now that I’m falling in love with him or maybe even in love with him. That’ll suck even more. I want to do something, I wish there was something that I could do for him!
But there’s nothing. 🙁 Not a fucking thing I can do for him, except to sit here and watch him die infront of me.
Fuck you god! Fuck you.
Why do these things have to happen.
I also wish that I could bring pictures to work… I wish I could have it like I did at Krell where I covered my wall with pictures of friends. 🙁 Fuck me for being gay.
You know god, if you’re going to be so evil as to take away Blake, take me too, ya? I’m sick of being gay, and I’m sick of this world!