Dearest Charles,
I loved you with everything I had. I gave you every ounce of love, every thing you asked for. I tried to make you as happy as I could.
When we first started dating you were kind, caring, texted me all the time, called me randomly just to talk. You were open and beautiful. But then you changed. You became cold, uncaring, unchanging, rude to a point.
Now I hear stories about your best friend telling random dates about how “toxic” I was.
You were the one who couldn’t communicate. You were the one who couldn’t be open. You were the one who couldn’t respect me, say I’m sorry, forgive and move on. You held everything against me.
YOU forgot my birthday, but yet you blamed me first for “not reminding you” (I DID!) and then for not planning anything and you said “well it didn’t seem that important to you”
YOU are the one who couldn’t understand how coming home at 11:30 at night and turning all the lights on could bother your partner.
YOU are the one who couldn’t understand that setting off alarms for over an hour at 5am could be annoying to your partner.
YOU are the one who never put in effort to plan anything or even commit to what I had planned
YOU are the one who forgot events time after time.
YOU are the one who prioritized your ex-bf/best friend over your partner. You never stood up to him and said “this is the man I love and am in a relationship with you need to be respectful and nice to him”
YOU are the one who couldn’t see that I wanted to encourage you to play tennis, not “hold you back” as you claim. I just wanted to be INVITED.
YOU are the one who got on GRINDR right in front of me and instead of saying “I’m sorry, I should have been more respectful” you just basically said “get over it”
YOU are the one who told me “oh, I’m not a very good texter” but then you sit there and text people constantly.
YOU are the one who said “Oh, I can’t contribute much to this trip” but then went off and spent THOUSANDS on yourself for a sleeve tattoo.
You’re selfish Charles, you’re rude, you don’t give a flying fuck about anything about me. You said you loved me but you didn’t SHOW it to me.
I tried, I tried to give you what you wanted. I tried to show you that I cared. I tried to encourage you to do better things.
I don’t get your motivations. You said to me the other day. “I hope we can be close forever” but then when we hung out the very next day you treated me like shit. You sat there texting other people all day, you got on grindr right in front of me, you didn’t offer me a ride home. You ignored my texts after.
But yet you went out of your way to COME hang out? Why? Why did you come hang out? Why did you keep pointing out things we had done together. Why?
What is it that you WANT. You act like you’re upset that I’m dating, but you’re the one who broke up with me, you’re the one who ended things. What is it that you care about me dating?
I want that Charles I had when we first started dating. But this Charles, this is a fucking asshole. You’re a terrible person the way you are right now to me.
I don’t fucking get it. I gave you everything. I loved you hard, I did what I could for you. Yes, I failed too. I failed by not telling you my needs better. I failed you by getting up set when you shut down. I failed by maybe doing too much for you. I failed…
In the end, I deserve so much better. I’ve already written multiple times about what I deserve, and it’s way more than what you gave me.
tl;dr