I just feel like this is a broken record, I go back and read past posts from years ago and other relationships and it’s just the same shit over and over again and maybe it’s 100% my fault. I dunno.
But I just feel like I can never get enough of what I want. The other day we went to Folsom and had a ton of fun, we came home, had some great sex. It was a good night. The next night, we are laying in bed and I wanted to jerk off. I put his hand on my hard dick and he just fucking FELL ASLEEP.
Last night, we had a GREAT day. I got up at 6am, drove to work, he had the day off. I drove 4 hours round trip to work yesterday, worked all Day, on my way home I stopped at this cute bakery and got us a pie. Got home, walked astra, got on bart, took bart for an hour to go to this play he wanted to see, saw the play, bart home for an hour. My day was LONG. He slept in, did some chores around the house, had the day off. Also, you know how I always get up early and fucking make him coffee before he leaves.
We get home and I say: “I’m going to walk astra real quick, can you cut us a piece of pie”. He then gives me this attitude of like it’s SO HAR For him to do that cause he’s so tired and it’s just too much. Well I walk astra and come back and he’s got the pie on the counter but he’s brushing his teeth. So I guess we aren’t going to share the pie together. Which is annoying.
I eat the pie, get in bed and he’s got his fucking iPad out watching YouTube. I say, “I thought you were so tired”. Super annoying that he puts up this ‘omg, it’s so hard to do something nice for you” but he’s totally cool just laying in bed watching YouTube and bothering me while I try to sleep.
I dunno, like I am just on edge I guess about everything. like everything annoys me because I am not getting what I want out of this. I want him to say I love you more, I want him to be EXCITED to see me when I come home from work. I want him to give me PASSIONATE kisses. I want him to WANT to have sex with me.
I WANT HIM to do nice things for me without having to be PROMPTED for it.
Like, I think he loves me. He does NICE thing for me, he holds my hands, we cuddle, we kiss, he sys “I love you” but it’s just never enough for me. I just don’t know what to do.